rock n roll imagines 🎸

keith richards - what the hell

"all my life i've been good but now, i'm thinking what the hell"

1970

i had planned on meeting them hours earlier than when i arrived, and as erica and i stumbled into the party, richards eyed me from across the room. i had took a tab of acid earlier that night, and as an abstract constellation of color and light swam around my vision, i twirled happily.

this momentarily euphoric feeling ended when i heard the voice of my older brother mick behind me.

"you high as a kite or what, sis?" he snorted, watching my red eyed and mascara smeared state.

i stuck my tongue out at him, knowing for certain he was on something much stronger, not to mention, deadlier. i had begged mick to quit using for years, but he brushed my worries aside. i couldn't blame him, i suppose, for living the rock and roll life like his predecessors.

i split away from erica as she made her way over to-- most likely-- the clueless boy who had been following her around all night like a stray puppy.

i dug around in my purse for a lighter as i hung a cigarette loosely between my lips. i never did drugs as a teenager, ever the parallel to my older brother, but i am ashamed to admit i have been a cigarette fiend since the age of eleven, when i found my fathers pack of marlboros. keith, mick and i took our first puff together.

"still addicted to those, i see." i heard the deep voice of richards himself from above me.

"nah, they're good for you. they only cause mild forms of cancer." i rasped, giggling as keith pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit the end of my cigarette. i took a drag and a deep inhale and then paused.

whether it was my drug induced state that brought up these emotions or not, it had never dawned on me just how beautiful my childhood frenemy truly was.

"and now your touching my face." he smirked and i looked at where my hand now was resting tenderly. wow. lucy in the sky with diamonds, right?

i suddenly felt dizzy, but not nauseous, just like a headrush times one hundred. i stumbled as i tried walking towards to bar, but keith pulled me back.

"cmon, little j, lets get you outside. you need some fresh air."

little j was keith's nickname for me, modelled over my shared last name with my older brother, the pure and utter genius of the which was a constant reminder that all i was, was mick jaggers little sister. miss mod. square. i guess when i came to that realization was when i started using.

i clung onto him as we stepped out into the frosty air. i could see my breath and my skin felt frosty.

"j, i think we have to talk." he spoke, more softly then i had heard him speak in a while. "i know... im not one to talk, but you've... changed." i opened my mouth to speak snarkily in response, but he beat me too it. "you used to have passion and a lust for life, but now all you do is get loaded every day and night with these friends i dont even know! we haven't hung out in ages. we used to be so close."

i snifled as the cold air wrapped around our bodies. giggling quietly, i whispered:
"remember when we ran away together in boarding school?" keith smiled from where he stood behind me. i sat down on the concrete stoop.
"we swore we would never come back to town, no matter what."

"you were a force of nature back then." keith spoke. back then. past tense.

"i was." i breathed. "and you... dear god i was so in love with you." i laughed, wiping my red and runny nose as i sniffled.keith's breath hitched.

"you were?" he asked quietly, sitting beside me and looking at the side of my face as i gazed at the stars.

"i was." i spoke. i laughed melodically before i breathed out: "i am. and i know in every way it's wrong, and its my own fault really and I shouldn't, but i can't--"

i was cut off by the warmth of keith's soft lips on mine. i hadn't felt those lips since i was fourteen. i hadn't had a kiss like that since i was fourteen. the day he snuck through my window at midnight and taught me how to kiss, simultaneously giving me my first kiss.

it was tender and short before we pulled away, and keith cupped my face, staring deeply into my eyes. he really was beautiful.

the moment, however, was broken when the shrill, loud, and obviously pissed voice if my brother sounded above us.

"RICHARDS! WERE YOU SNOGGIN' MY SISTER?!"