Heartbeat [Alec Volturi]

Beyond

I was surrounded by my own species for the first time in months. 

I'd never stood out more.

Not that anyone was looking at me anyways, seeing as I stood between two of the most gorgeous beings any of these people would ever see. I was highly aware of the fact that I was now exclusively privy to the darker secrets that existed under my own kind's very noses. Acquainted with an entirely disparate manner of existence that humans had documented and dismissed as fantasy. If they only knew. For this reason, I was more of an enigma than I'd ever been with my condition before. Now, I'm sure that manners and social acceptable behaviour would be my biggest challenge as I was returned to the human world.

I hadn't left the castle since the 'girl's night' several months ago. So, my interactions with other humans had been limited to the few receptionists. And we already know how some of those went.

The night had ended with the twins torturing a man guilty of cheap morals and a deductively long history of despicable decisions. Jane and Alec may be considered evil in their world, but I believed true evil came through when others suffered for another's gain and purely selfish wants. Ironic, considering how I spent the better part of my young life. Though this perspective had clearly been developed during my time surrounded by faith. No matter how I'd come by it, my actions that night had been rooted in this core principle.

We had assumed his guilt, delivered justice on our own terms, and destroyed a man's life. Would that be my life with the Volturi — traveling around and delivering punishment to vampires that dared to defy Aro, Marcus, and Caius? I could understand now, after the nightclub incident, where Aro's gift would be quite useful overall. The better part of me wished I'd been able to confirm what I deduced about Travis's past crimes. Aro's gift could have determined this with 100% assurance. Surprisingly, the situation had given my not-so-better half optimistic realism on its' side this time and I couldn't find it in me to regret my role. Without even realising it, I had come to adopt the Volturi's perspective on the rule of law. This was not the only thing my time with them was affecting.

I'd grown accustomed to a life where exploration inside the stone walls was enough. Presenting me as compliant and accepting of my confinement to the Volturi's world. So much had changed over the last few months and I would occasionally be struck with an all-encompassing desire to flee the castle, sneak out as I once had and never stop running. Other times, I'd struggle with a confessional fear that it was wrong that I'd given in to this life. That I was experiencing a kind of Stockholm or Lima syndrome when my captors one day became my friends the next. I'd fought tooth and nail from the very beginning and only time had softened my resolve.

Though it made sense that I would be experiencing a mentally tainted perspective, there was a theoretical element that seemed to hold more weight as I continued to deal in the world of the supernatural. Under these circumstances, this theory may surpass the human understandings of psyche, identifying the day to day changes as rational behaviour. After all, the syndromes were based and studied according to humanity's scientific method, which I'd never doubted, but I had no idea how science would be able to comprehend the world I'd been introduced into.

I often questioned at what point I would be able to reconcile my waving of the white flag as a conscious decision and not one clouded and falsified in my own mind. Perhaps it would be when I no longer referred to the transition as a white flag. Still, this switch had occurred unintentionally, a build-up with a late warning.

Actually, it happened that night. The night that Alec and I agreed to be friends, a decision made equally on a vulnerable level and with full respect for the other. That night had opened my mind to view the Volturi, not through the lens of human morals and expectations, but as an entrance to an entirely other world. Which is what they were. After accepting Alec, I was able to also accept that though they once had blood running through their veins, vampires were a part of something new. Not better, not much different...just new.