Heartbeat [Alec Volturi]

Repercussions

Paranoia is a symptom of guilt.

My actions over the course of the last few months had unarguably left a trail of consequences for others or at least instigated the circumstances for them.

Taking advantage of Prosper's kindness to attempt my first escape.

Guaranteeing the bloodless end of Victor Tima.

Antagonizing Libby and her mate, Issa, just for my entertainment.

Travis.

I had hardly done anything on purpose. Each of these events had a 'but'. Some sort of extenuating circumstance, and if I stepped away and thought about it...and I mean, really thought about it without my emotions to influence the process; I could see that nothing about any of those situations was black and white. At least, not so simply broken down as I had been recalling them. I was taking on more than I was responsible for.

Guilt stemmed from the bonds I'd created while I'd been here. It wasn't just Alec I had attempted to escape from, but my friends as well. But then there was that word again. Escape. It could have been my rebellious nature revolting against the literally dozens of commands I'd been given in my relatively short time with the Volturi. It might be as simple as not being told I couldn't leave and choosing to stay. I had no real desire to truly leave Volterra, nor those I'd come to know inside the city.

I could have handled this most recent situation better, no doubt. I was attempting to do something of my own free will. Free will that I no longer had. I do not deny that I had been reckless. At the time, I would have swallowed the blame and let it consume me. But was I entirely in the wrong?

No. Not completely. And yet my organs weighed me down as if they were collapsing in on themselves.

Felix had shushed me when I tried to talk to him.

He and Demetri were deep in conversation immediately after this. A conversation that was exceptionally involved, evidenced by the rapid movement of their mouths and the hand gestures they communicated with. I couldn't help but feel as though they'd only started the conversation to keep me out of it. But then, I was projecting once more. The air around us floated on a cloud of tension and I expected at least a playful wink from one of them to break it. It never came.

Jane observed them with distaste. Her doll-like features and stony posture solidified the official manner with which she identified. Occasionally she would switch her focus to different sections of marble and stone with a dulled stare. But never towards me. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing.

Not long after Alec had entered the throne room for a private meeting with the masters, other guard members started to arrive. The first few were thrown off, even alarmed by our loitering activity, but I could practically see a light bulb flick on when they saw me. Their eyes would scan over my companions, and the absence of one specific member of our group would dawn on them. After the fourth guard, the news seemed to have spread, and the rest were far more discreet as they joined the gallery.

Then again, perhaps I was being conceited. They did, after all, have a potential war on their hands. I was sure most of them still considered me to be the human nuisance flooding the castle with the scent of blood 24/7. Considering I was no longer allowed to leave. Not that I ever was, but this time was a little more definitive.

The first arrival of their lessers prompted the high guard to reposition themselves around me to serve as a better-equipped protective shield. Yet still, I received no acknowledgement or even the briefest of eye contact until absolutely necessary.

Jane elbowed me to get my attention. "Not a word. Understood?" I nodded, her biting tone unnerving me into submission. Which was undoubtedly her goal, as, on cue, the doors creaked as they were pushed open and one of the lower guard members rushed forward to catch it - Terren. Terren held it open for the younger twin to exit. His presence corresponded with a release of tension in my shoulders, and I breathed out as quietly as I could. The stoic expression on Alec's face kept the other guards away until he was clear of the doors, and then they all flooded inside.