Handsome, Hot-Blooded & Hazardous

5 - Calls, Closure & Cookies

~ Circles - Trey Songz ~
❤︎

"And how do you feel about that?" Talia asks.

"Like shit," I scoff. "He came, got what he wanted and left without a second glance. Then he came over to my house the next day. For what? I have no clue. I'm just confused," I confess.

She nods. "You want to know my opinion off record?" Talia asks. She always gives the best advice. I nod. "Fuck him. He doesn't deserve you. You can do better."

I sigh, throwing my head back. "Can I? I don't know if I even deserve better," I mutter.

"Prystyne we've been over this. You can't keep blaming yourself for-"

"Yes I can. It's my fault she's dead. What kind of best friend am I to not notice if my friend was on the verge of killing herself. I'm selfish. I haven't even opened up her suicide letter she left me yet." Angry tears fill my eyes.

Talia sighs. "Do you think opening the letter could give you closure? Maybe she explained why?"

I laugh emotionlessly. "Or maybe she explained how shitty of a friend I am. I know I said I was good like two weeks ago, but I'm not. I changed my mind."

"What changed?"

My phone begins ringing and I pick it up. I show Talia the caller ID. "This asshole right here coming back into my life," I grumble. I was doing fantastic, why did he have to show up like this. Why now?

"Maybe you should try getting closure. Try talking with him and or tell him how you feel," she suggests.

"No offence Talia but that is the worst advice you've ever given me. Ever."

She just laughs. "Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm not talking with him. I was doing good without him. Now he wants to enter my life after I'd just felt good again."

"Prystyne let me ask you a question. Did you really feel good or was it a good day or were all the signs pointing to good?"

I sat up straight to look at her. "What do you mean by that last part?" I ask. She sighs, putting down her journal.

"I mean did you just assume you were good because you're sober, your job was going great, your friends and kid love you. The question is what you feel, not the facts."

I hate therapy. She just has to call me out on all my problems. "I assumed. I don't actually feel good, I feel like shit. Maybe I'm just a bad person, maybe that's why Jade killed herself, my friends didn't come visit me. Maybe they don't like me." I decide. Why wouldn't they want to come see me? I know damn well I'd come see them.

"You need closure. Why don't you try calling them."

I scoff. "I'm not calling anyone. None of them wanted to see me so I will oblige to their demand." Her timer goes off indicating our time is up.

"That's our time. Bye," I quickly grab my phone and walk out ignoring her calls. I just need to get away. I get into my car and drive straight to the daycare.

I drive with Harmony straight back home. "Drake your a-s-s better be home because I have ten minutes!" I shout as I enter with Harmony. He comes running down the hall.

"I made you food to take. Here," he hands me a cloth bag. I look in it, seeing juice and food.

"Thanks," I smile.

"No problem. Now go. I got Harmony. Good luck!" He wishes. I leave the apartment.

❤︎

"These scores are excellent, Prystyne. Your hard work, essay. You're just what we are looking for at Senview University." I smile at the words.

I'm at an interview for Senview University. I was fortunate enough to graduate. My high grades at Wesley even dropped were still high enough for me to pass.

I took six months after rehab to find out what I wanted to do. And I know now. Business. It's what I'm good at. Jordyn already goes here. Drake goes to a smaller college nearby. Wren graduated early.

"Alright, I'll hopefully see you another time. Safe travels," he laughs.

"Bye!" I exit his office. I think that actually went well. My phone rings and I look at the screen. Again. Now my mood is ruined.

How many times is he going to call me before he gets the hint? He's been calling me like every hour for the past two weeks.

I don't answer. I let it ring. Every time I hit decline he calls again straight away. I toss my phone in the passenger seat of my car as I get in.

"One more thing."

❤︎

"I soon realized I didn't need drugs or alcohol to feel something. I just needed my fiancé. The love of my life," I groan as Ellen talks about her love life. "I brought him here with me today."

That's just great. I watch as her future husband walks across the stage. "Gosh this is some bullshit," a familiar voice says. I look to my left seeing Wren sit down next to me.

He hands me a pack of cookies. "Wren! You didn't have to come." He shrugs. "And I know. I don't want to hear about how good her love life is. Love sucks."

"Tell me about it," he mutters.

"Fuck love!" I shout. Wren looks at me. He uses his hands to cup his mouth.

"Fuck love!" He shouts.

We begin shouting it repeatedly, getting annoyed looks from the crowd. The main host of the AA meeting takes back the microphone. "Prystyne, we've talked about this," she sighs.

"Sorry!" I yell.

"Well just for that you can come talk about why you would say F love. Come on," she gestures for me to come to her.

I roll my eyes. "That ones on you," Wren whispers. I get up and walk over to the stage. I take the microphone from her.

"Alright well as Ellen said the love of her life was all she needed to get a feeling. Same here, not! He left me and 18 months later he wants to show back up. He doesn't want to stick with me during the hard parts of my life so he doesn't get to stay for the good. I'm not saying all love is bad but I definitely didn't score in that zone." I rant.

The crowd applauds. "You'll find love!" Someone yells. "Maybe he's not the one!" "I believe you'll find love!" "You're young!" People continue yelling encouraging words.

I wave them off. "I decided I don't want love. I can survive by myself. 18 months sober without him and it will continue to stay that way. Sober without him." I speak into the microphone.

Mainly because if it's not him, I don't want it. But I don't want him either.

I hand back the microphone and walk straight out of the AA meeting. "Yo Prys! Wait up!" Wren shouts catching up to me.

"Yeah. Sorry," I apologize. I shouldn't have left him like that.

"I need a ride back home at least," he says.

"How'd you get here?"

"Bussed straight from work. Couldn't have you coming to this hell hole alone," he tosses an arm over my shoulder leading me to my car.

My phone rings and I take it out of my pocket. "He's still calling you huh," Wren says looking down at my phone.

"Yeah. He won't stop calling me," I mutter. I get into the passenger seat and hand Wren the keys to drive.

"Hey you want to skip and just head to a movie?" He asks.

"Thought you'd never ask," I let out an exaggerated breath.