Section 20

Chapter 28

Dean woke abruptly drenched in cold sweat as he sat up, his body trembling from the lingering nightmare.

He glanced down at Cas who was peacefully asleep beside him, one arm draped over his face.

If Dean wasn't still caught up in his nightmare, he would've smiled at how cute his boyfriend looked, but his entire body was still shaking and he was still borderline panicking.

Carefully, he pulled the blankets off his body and climbed out of bed, trying not to wake Cas.

His knee protest in agony as he shuffled around the room, but he ignored it. It wasn't anything new.

He pulled off his long sleeved shirt that was now drenched in sweat and tossed it to the side before he grabbed one of his flannels and threw it on. He was glad that the bedroom was dark so he couldn't see the marks and scars Alastair had put on him.

Walking out the bedroom, he spared a quick look down the hallway to make sure Gabriel's bedroom door was shut before he made his way towards the main room.

Dean didn't even think about where he was going and before he knew it he was back outside on the balcony sitting in his usual seat as he stared out at the city lights around him. His breathing was still ragged as he tried to calm himself down, the nightmare still fresh in his mind.

It was always fresh in his mind and it was always the same.

He wished like hell that he didn't remember the things Alastair had done to him, all the torture and pain. He wished he couldn't remember it, but maybe that wouldn't make things any easier. His knee still wouldn't work, he'd still have all the scars and imperfections painted over his body, so maybe it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway.

He must have sat out there for a while because before he knew it, the sun had risen along the horizon and the town had come to life.

Cars were piled down the street in the early morning rush hour as people tried to make it to their nine to five jobs on time. There were people out jogging and walking their dogs along the side walk and the occasional aeroplane soaring gracefully through the sky above him.

All those people just going about their day not even knowing that they were seconds away from living through a nuclear explosion and World War III.

He could hear cars honking and the jingle of bicycle bells from the street below him and Dean wished more than anything that he was back at his trailer in the peacefulness of the woods. No traffic noise, no busy city streets, just him and his trailer and the occasional squirrel or deer.

"Yo! Dean-o, you're Sasquatch of a brother is here." Gabriel's voice suddenly shouted from inside.

Sam was here? Dean didn't know he was visiting today.

He stood up from his chair not even trying to hide the grimace across his face at the sharp pain through his knee before he took a deep breath and limped inside.

Sam and Eileen were by the front door with Cas while Gabriel quickly dashed back down the hallway towards his bedroom. Dean had to stop himself from laughing at the candy cane pyjama pants the man was still wearing, clearing having been just woken up.

"Dean!" Eileen called out and before Dean had a chance to reach them, Eileen jogged the remaining distance and wrapped her arms around him.

The sudden contact caught Dean by surprise for a moment, since him and Eileen didn't hug that often. It was always a head nod or a fist bump at best, but he quickly hugged her back anyway.

"You look good." She said, pulling away from him as her eyes looked him up and down.

Dean never used to be self-conscious about his body. Hell, he knew he was fairly good looking from a young age and wasn't afraid to admit it, but after what Alastair had done, he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror.