HOW DID I SURVIVE

CHAPTER 3:

I ended up moving to my mom's because after returning to my ex's house. it was bad enough being there with him, and I find out the power was off. he didn't know when it be back on due to the amount of the bill  being so high. so I had to move while DFS is on me, me and the kids went to my sister's again to get away from the house and as far as DFS they didn't want Matt around the kids because I told them what had happen him drinking and I kicked him out. well I didn't know that my sister was letting him stay at they're house cause he was homeless. I found out after I got there and the day I was going to go home. my sister and husband called me down stairs asking me if we was still wanting to get married they'd pay for it and I said I'm not suppose to be around him and they probably won't want me marrying him. I really didn't want to marry him. I felt forced honestly.

I ended up calling to find out if it was ok and she said it was up to me and it probably wouldn't look good to the judge since he wasn't even suppose to be around the kids anyways. so not long after we got married after having all these kids together. it was finally done even though everyone pushed me into it. no one else in the family came to the wedding. they were all mad about it and like I told my mother you asked us why haven't we got married yet and I told you in a low voice maybe I don't want to get married. and she said why not.. 

everyone kept questioning it. even though I hadn't even found out if I was even divorced yet, because my lawyer said the last court hearing was in a year and never called me or anything. I had to ask the DFS worker if she could find out and she said we was divorced. but the fact was I didn't want to remarry because I didn't want to get married  and end up getting a  divorce again

after having Kaeden I had pain in my legs and could barely walk. it started after one night getting ready to go to bed, we was arguing and he punched my leg. and the next morning I stood up and had a burst of pain in my leg, I couldn't walk. the baby is crying and he wouldn't help, I had to crawl to the kitchen with both hands and one leg. it continued  to hurt on random side's sometimes both. and of course he called me a liar. while I was at my sister, I misjudge my seating and landed on the couch where the wood was and hurt my tail bone which cause a lot of issues as well. 

being at my grandmothers months later it came back I had test done and they found nothing. if they can't see it then nothing is wrong in they're eye's. it lasted until one day. my doctor asked me if I was on birth control and I said yes but this time I got the shot. which they put in your hip. 

my doctor suggested getting off the birth control. to see if it was causing the pain. so I did and i ended up pregnant again.. this time a girl.. I named her Roselynne Isabella E. born march 3rd 2013. 9 days before my birthday.. when I told him I was pregnant he was drunk and he said oh hell no  you better be joking how will we afford another baby, It ain't my fault, you knew I wasn't on birth control. at that time I was working and every time I turned around he was drinking and doing thing my mothers calling my saying I need to come home. he's scaring her and the kids.

let me explain how this man work's ok . he's a drunk. he's on drug's, he cheated multiple time's. he steals from my family, took the food I bought for the kids and ate it and said they did. he always accused me of cheating said the kids wasn't his, he tried going to my grandmother and saying I'm on drugs. he claimed the neighbor saw different cars at the house and that my children said I locked them all in the bedroom while having sex in the next room.

he abused my kids, he abused me.. he would come home on drugs and alcohol. start hurting me. and yell at the kids, one day he took a cord and hit me in my collar bone with it while I had my baby in my arm's. 

he came home one night and I don't what he was on but he pushed me on the couch jumped on top my lap sitting on me choking  me, I was pinned. all the sudden he said oh my god I'm sorry. don't call the cops. and left. he did that more than once. he got mad at me because he thought we was whispering about him. I was bent over picking up stuff and he came up from behind me and punched me six times in the back of my head. there was a time I was getting in the fridge and he sprayed mace in my face then called me a liar when my family was right there. 

again I got pregnant and another son his name is Noah Jean E. born September 3rd 2014. doctors said I was high risk. the placenta was cover the uterus making me unable to deliver vaginally. I wasn't allowed any sexual activities. because it could cause me to bleed and me and the baby could die, they wanted to keep an eye on me to see if it would move enough. to deliver vaginally. he thought I was lying so I didn't have to have sex with him, and even had the doctor explain it and he said I had him lie for me.

when it was time for the C-section, I was pale and they kept close eye on me, when Noah came out, he swallowed the fluid, I saw him long enough for a picture. and they rushed him to Nic-u   he couldn't breath on his own for 2-4 weeks. my mom showed me pictures and I could barely look I was tired and upset I couldn't hold him or anything. the next day. I asked to see him and they said once I was unhooked from the machine, then I could. so when that time came I asked where he was and I walked there and was there all day and would fall asleep everyday. they kept saying well call if anything changes. well the doctor came in about two three days later and said that he heard I had walked to see the baby and was impressed. normally woman sleep. and complain about pain. and have to be in a wheel chair. but you got right up and went to see your son. are you in pain. I said I'm not in pain. when something is going on with your child nothing can stop you from seeing them. 

I was released but was allowed to stay in the hospital until my son was able to leave. one day, I just got up and they called and said he was breathing on his own. and that to make sure eat before coming down to see him, I hurried and ate and was on my way to see my beautiful baby boy. they ended up moving him to my room and two days later we was able to go home.

my daughter on the other hand almost killed me. Rosie's head turned.. took a hour to get her out. after she was born we moved in with my sister. she was 6 months old and all the pain in my leg's came back again worse than before, i went to the ER and yet again the doctor said there was nothing wrong, I said look I don't want drug's I just want to know what is going on. but he sent me home. I went to my doctor she couldn't really do anything and I asked can you give me antibiotics, and pain med's until the x-ray's she did, it made it worse 3 weeks of pain. my sister had to take care of my kids because my husband said I'm faking. I'd wake up in pain. laid there with a heating pad. nothing worked. so back to the ER. 

this time I was dropped off by myself. same doctor. as soon as he walked in I said I don't want to talk to you, I want to talk to who's above you. 10 minutes go by and the doctor comes in with another doctor. I  explained again. I  said I was in here 3 weeks ago this is what's going on how long I've had this issue and everyone is telling me, nothing is wrong, I don't med's it doesn't help. i just want to know why I've been in pain and barley able to walk for 3 years. 

he told the doctor to set up MRI cat scan and x-ray. after hours of tests. the doctor came in said we have to do emergency surgery now. if we don't you can lose your leg.  I didn't have time to call anyone or nothing I signed the paper and was asleep from the gas. stayed in the hospital for 5 day's. I had septic arthritis  33cc's of pus in my hip. If I didn't step up and make them do something I wouldn't have my leg. when I was 8 years old I had osteomyelitis. a bone marrow. they removed the infected bone the size of a pinky finger.

later I found out, I don't have any cart-ledge  in my pelvic bone so every time I walk my bones are grinding together.