HOW DID I SURVIVE

CHAPTER 7:

The next day his brother called saying his mom called the police for stabbing his brother, and told him where we was which only our neighbor and his wife knew where we was. and he said can you come get us. and told him where we was and to pick us up at Wendy's. so if they came we was not there. he had me stay and pack up everything and actually thought i was gonna carry everything up there. 

so I'm packing and taking stuff out side and next thing I see is a black pick up flying into the parking lot with police with guns and they jump out telling me to put my hands up, and asking where he was. I said how would I know where he is for all I know he's on a bus or plane. or somewhere else away from here. well your packing to leave, where are  you meeting at. I said all  I know is his brother was suppose to pick me up and take me home. and they asked me if they could search me I said ya.

they asked if I was carrying any weapons. I said yes but I was told as long as they are a certain length. why do I have 3 knife's, one for each side, for protection. so they were saying I was harboring a fugitive, I said since when was he a fugitive, well he stabbed his brother then disappeared, no that's not what happen, they got in a fight it was dark you couldn't really see anything that happen, all I know is he said he stabbed him, but he's known to lie and they're was no blood on him at all. my mom is a witness. he walked up said he stabbed him and threw the knife under the porch, later I went to see if there was a knife, and there wasn't one. the period of time between the incident and us going inside where at least an hour so there's no way he had blood on him.

when the cops came out we were all out side even my stepdad and told them what we saw and of course they wanted us to come to the police station and give a report. but they didn't say don't go anywhere. or he's was a fugitive or anything. maybe because they had to wait for his brother to wake up and give a statement I don't know. so I said I was unaware of him actually  being accused of anything. they kept trying to say they'd make it to where I'll never see my kids or get them back or anything, I said look, all I know is he gave me his money and the card, he left me here and was supposed to meet his brother up at Wendy's. I honestly don't care if he goes to jail he's cause me nothing but pain. I said he does have a gun Its my gun he bought me for my birthday Its not registered yet. yes it was loaded and he's like well why do you hang out with people that are drug users if you don't use yourself.

easy question. I'm not going to judge someone one how they live their life. just because they do it don't mean I am. he said do you have money to stay another night I yes but I have a ride coming and I need this money for food. and he said ok well here's my card. I'll call you. and then said they found him, running through the woods. he had coke and something else. and the gun. 

I never got my gun back. he was in jail for 4-5 years. I continued to talk to him, I was living in a motel with his brother and wife. for a year. and one day, I was like I'm on my med's and feeling better, more motivated and I'm going to start working. so I got a job at JCpennys and I  was working mornings 6am-1-3pm. well my sisters boss at subway wanted to hire me and so I applied and asked both places to work around each other and It didn't work out. so I stayed with subway with in a few days i got a raise then another, two weeks later another, the first two weeks I work 90 hours. and made 1,000 dollars before tax. 

Jamie was calling none stop while I was working and I finally answered on break and said can you stop calling me I am at work. I can't talk to you. about a year of his bs saying he'll be out soon was the end of the line, I had already told him I'm breaking up with him, and why, you are drinking, taking drug, burned my house down got my kids taken away, abused me and controlled me and forced me to be with you. you purposed to me and later told me that he only asked me to marry him, because he thought I was going to leave him.

I had moved in with my mom and bought her car spent a month, sanding it down by hand, striping it down. I bought the paint, the sand paper, a sander, seat cover's new USB port and cord's and a hood scoop. I prime painted the first layer and then painted it black, and gloss paint, a few sticker's and a Mazda emblem chrome, plus a blue tooth radio and a speaker box, even a crap load of tool's. the car shock at a certain speed and I went to get it Inspected and they said they needed to replace the passenger side, bushing bearing and arm, plus inspection cost 165.00, I didn't have to pay taxes, and the insurance was 197.99, $80.00 a month, and the plate's was $85.00 I came home and my mom and dad was waiting on the porch for me. and I said I got it legal, and she says how much so I told her and she's like how did you not pay taxes and why is it so low.

first off, she didn't act excited about it until all information was laid  out, I didn't really need money, other than cig's food gas, paying the car off. and when I went to visit my kids, I had almost $800.00 when I left that morning

she paid $500. I believe for the car, and I told her I'd pay $650.00 but I gave her it in payment's. that's my beast. after moving 1hr and 30m away, I started noticing the oil light, I'd put oil in it and I'd notice it leaking, didn't realize the drip stick was cut in half, and over filled the oil, because Jamie had called and I was pissed because he wouldn't stop calling as if we was still together. my car was poor oil smoking like it was on fire. one night, I went to the gas station and my car was shutting off acting like it kept wanting to die, and I finally made it home and soon as I pulled up it sounded like metal popcorn. which was the  engine bearings had  burned up. so I couldn't drive it anymore lost my job.

at that time we moved a hour in a half away and I had met a guy named jay T. and I started dating him off and on, which I shouldn't had let it go on as long as I did. I should have listened to my family, I shouldn't have been worried about a relationship at the time. I should have been more focused on getting my kids back, me and him dated a while off and on, we had broke up, I started working at subway do there 13 miles away and worked maybe a month or so and lost it, because I was on my way home from vising my sister, I went to help her fix her car.

and on my way home, I had a blow out on the highway, and I had no way to work, and they manager thought, I was gonna ride with some guy I never met, to work and I refused, so I quit. my sister wanted me to come visit, for Christmas and so I did, and so they wanted me to stay longer and I ended up moving in, my old boss said she would re-hire me she needed someone immediately to start. so I did, well a few months later jay had called me and said he moved and wanted me to come with him, and I was stupid and ended up moving in with him, he was in a program for welding and I got a job and was suppose to met with a mental health doctor to help with my case.

about 2-3 months we got into a argument because he was suppose to come home after school and he'd be gone at his friends house, smoking pot and drinking, and I felt that us being in a relationship he could have least let me know, I felt like he was cheating,  I had messaged him telling him that I hope she's worth it and that I'm about to leave.  he came home and told his buddy to wait for him.

he came in telling me to get my shit and get out, he isn't going to deal with more drama, that's why he left his wife, and started throwing my stuff outside, and I was trying to pick up all my stuff he threw outside and he kept saying leave get off the property, and was throwing rock's at me and while I walking he kept talking shit, and his buddy who was supposed to be my friend as well I said you just gonna sit there and let him treat me like that. what great friend you are.

he say's get the fuck out of here, so jay walks over and hits me in my face, and then lied saying if I hit you, you would be dead. I walked around crying no where to go in Nevada Missouri, hours away from home.  and I called his ex wife who was about a hour away. and told her what happen and all she really said was let him cool off and call him and ask him to let you stay the night so you can have some one pick you up, and she'd call him.

so there's cop's driving around. I'm texting him saying sorry, that I shouldn't have said that and please let me come home there was a car full of guys talking crap as they drove by. and he finally wrote me back, saying he'd leave the door unlocked, and so I sat on a picnic table and he showed up and unlocked the door, I waited until he left and went inside and laid down, waiting to see if he'd come home. and he didn't. I fell asleep crying.

so the next morning, I started packing everything making sure I had everything packed and ready trying to get away home, and I'm talking to my mom and she's like I don't have the gas to drive there and pick you up, can't he bring you. I said no he doesn't get money for a week and it's not a lot. and he walk's through the door, while I'm on the phone, and sits down.

and I said can you pick me up or not, and she like well let me talk to your dad, and I'll  call back. so I get off the phone, and I didn't say anything, and he said did you get a ride I said I don't know yet, I'll probably have to walk. and he say's tell you what you can still stay here but we ain't together, so after that I barely talked to him, I got a job. and all the sudden here and there we'd have sex, stupid I know, I said I thought was wasn't together, so what id this, friends having sex. and he's like yeah.