letters to you | 최범규

5 | dear, beomgyu

beomgyu's eyes widen, with hope and fear. his eyes glisten and shine with tears brimming at his eyes. teardrops fall down to the concrete floor

"t-taehyun... where did you find these?" beomgyu says, crying as the others take a seat around beomgyu, who had fallen to the concrete floor from shock, after tossing all of the trash in the bin

"they were scattered all over the ground after you dropped the bag."

"what are these?" yeonjun says, pointing to the burn marks on the rims of the paper, creating the cream color paper to have black and brown ripped edges.

"i-i cant remember but i have a feeling we'll find out." beomgyu says, as he walks inside rushing to his bedroom floor, as the others follow him, puzzled at beomgyu's motive

"beomgyu" soobin begins, as they all sit on the wooden floor that is beomgyus bedroom. "what are those papers?"

"they're my letters. from the hospital" beomgyu says, as they all look at him confused

"i wrote letters to myself everyday i was at the hospital for the year. these letters" he says, tears brimming at his eyes "these letters, whatever is left of them will clear up everything."

"there are only five though. you were there for a year" yeonjun poses his question with a confused look on his face

"most of them were burned. i don't know how, when, or why. but i have hope that these letters will reveal everything." beomgyu says, with his painful smile.

he looks at the members, as they hold his hand, supporting him and helping him

but i know this can't last forever...

he opens the flap of the envelope as multiple tattered papers come out and scatter all over the ground.

the members watch as beomgyu picks up the few letters and sees they're numbered with dates on each one

every day up until march 13th, 2017

what happened that day?

what made him stop writing the letters?

he picks up the letter with the earliest day and begins to read it, as the others come around him and read it along with him, as they look at beomgyus eyes that have started to glisten as he holds his tears back, his voice cracking as he reads the letter:

march 7th 2017

dear future beomgyu:

i heard a doctor come into my hospital room,

i pretended to be asleep

she went on and told the four boys

who were with me

that i won't have much time left

my condition won't let me live much longer

i was told i don't have much longer to live

i want to prove them wrong

i'll write these letters addressed to my future self

if it's really future beomgyu reading these letters,

it means that i have accomplished my goal

i won, i'm still alive

but if it's not future beomgyu,

i have lost

and you have won.

sincerely, past beomgyu

ink smears along the letters as beomgyu cries, tear drops falling onto the letters. the members removing the letters from beomgyu's hands, as he cries harder, yeonjun opening his arms for beomgyu to have a shoulder to cry on

the other members following as they all hug him, giving him the comfort he has longed for,

for so long.

his cries become more faint as he looks up at the other members, giving them a light nod, that he'll continue to read the letters

i'm ready for the next letter

no matter how much it pains me

i'm ready to hear about what truly happened

those days at the hospital

why'd you four leave me

i long for the truth