Birthday Wish || Jungkook x Y/N

5. small step forward

„I noticed you being around and I just wanna tell you before - you should find another girl to be your next trophy okay? We are just working together."

I— ouch?

I knew she didn't have a good opinion about me but, fuck it hurts like hell. Maybe I was a little too extra with my words and all. Was I? Fuck, I am too obvious, she will literally hate me soon. I should chill with the complements or I am gonna seriously lose all the remaining chances. How was I able to win her heart back then?

"I am sorry, I didn't mean anything bad. I just thought that you're cool and wanted to become friends, since you're not obsessed with me like other girls." Unfortunately. "And just in addition, I am not exactly as people describe me you know? Maybe try to get to know me better before judging me so easily." Wait, what? He didn't know why he added the last part but maybe it was the burning feeling in his stomach caused by your words. However, when he noticed your eyes piercing through his, his stomach immediately stopped burning but tightened instead. I should fucking bite my tongue and finally use my brain sometimes.

But what you did next surprised him, making him try hard not to widen his eyes. You observed his face for a while, looking for something before nodding your head then lowering it. A light, nearly unnoticeable pink color kissing your cheeks.

But he knew and he noticed. Because how could he not? He noticed every little thing about you unconsciously. He was just used to those small gestures, it made him remember all those things that technically happened, but now they may not even have a place. Thanks to him.

You started playing with your ring and then finally speak, after gathering some courage again. You were stubborn and tough, but when you were wrong you could admit it. But this time, his eyes hanging on your figure made you nervous, and that fact surprised you. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, it was unnecessary and rude of me. I don't know you and I don't have any right to judge you just by hearing some things about you." You raised your head during your speech and locked your eyes, and he noticed how they changed, from the fierce one to those soft, innocent eyes he was always looking into when he was waking up. Being too deep into thinking about you he was only able to nod his head, but you thinking he was still offended opened your mouth again.

"No, I seriously mean it. Maybe I don't know you and like you but I shouldn't be rude and be so quick to put you into this or a different category. And my words before, I could say that less harsh than I did. I was just angry since I was feeling like you were flirting with me." Because I was. I was so flirting with you, Y/N. He cleared his throat before smiling delicately. "It's okay, I get it. I am not mad, just wanted you to give me a chance." You were looking at each other for a moment when you finally noticed what was happening. Your eyes widened slightly and you quickly turned your head, focusing on your notebook. Your fingers started pulling on your palm's skin, making him bit his bottom lip. Another nervous habit. 

It was your turn to clear your throat just to calm yourself and catch his attention, which was on you anyway. But you didn't know yet. "Okay, well. Do you have any idea of what we can paint?" He stayed silent for a moment just admiring your shiny eyes before he nodded his head and started explaining his painting vision. Well, you have already painted it once. "... And then we can just add the things that make us happy, but also those that are kinda blocking us, as the parts of our lives. Or just--" "Can we not paint the eyes? I mean, the shape of them will stay but instead of irises we will do something else." What? This caught him off guard, completely not expecting this. He didn't remember you asking about it back then. 

His confused expression made you nearly take your words back but before you could open your mouth he already agreed. "I mean, sure. If you don't mind me asking - why? You don't like painting eyes?" You gulped the saliva down, praying in your heart that he didn't hear how loud it was. I do, I love actually. But your eyes are doing weird things to me and I don't want it. I can't look into them for too long and painting them would be too dangerous. "Yeah, I am not really good at this and I don't want our painting to be ruined by it just by them. Hope you don't mind that." He nodded his head, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, especially after noticing that you weren't that tense anymore around him. 

Well, she doesn't hate me anymore. Guess we are making progress. 

"No, it's okay. I don't mind." I don't as long as it's for you. "Sooo, when do we start? And where?" He wanted to start now, immediately, as soon as possible knowing that the more time he will spend with you, the faster he will be able to show you his true colors, you will get to know him not the rumors. And he will be able to make you fall for him. "Well, I'm quite busy after college so maybe we can start on Saturday or something? I heard that it's supposed to be sunny and we could go and work in the park. Nature helps me with it. But if you want to paint at home then we can." "The park it is then."  

The bell rang loudly, interrupting your conversation and Jungkook nearly rolled his eyes in annoyance. Oh Goddamn it, really? Now? You started packing your things, knowing that this break isn't that long and you needed to quickly change classes. He was observing you in silence but when you turned your head, just to avoid being caught red-handed he took his pen and notebook and threw it into his backpack. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing if he should start another conversation or just go away, but not wanting his chance to disappear he took a deeper breath to say something, but you were faster. 

"I have to go now. We will set the time next time okay?" "Yeah, yes. Do you want me to walk you to your next class?" You laughed at his words. "Thanks but no. Don't you have your football practice right now?" He furrowed his eyebrows but not a second later his eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. 

Football practice!

"Fuck, yeah I have, I forgot." You only nodded your head, already making your way to the exit. "It's fine, I have to go anyways. See you on Thursday." But before Jungkook could answer you were already out of sign. He exhaled loudly before looking around, trying to remember where his locker was located. When he finally found it the other problem appeared. What was his code? His birthday? His mother's birthday? Random numbers? Trying different combinations he started getting frustrated and when the '1997' worked he immediately changed it to your birthdate. Just like his phone and credit card pin. He won't ever forget this one. Safe choice.

During the practice, his thoughts wandered towards you. Was your previous behavior a green light for him? You were laughing. And you looked at him with soft eyes. Were you feeling good around him? Did he show you he isn't that bad? It was hard for him because usually, he could read you like an open book just through your eyes. But when you weren't looking at him, how was he supposed to know? Were there any other hints that he could find? Some girl language? He couldn't just ask, it would be too soon and you wouldn't answer him anyways. 

But there was also one more thing that made him confused. Depending on what he will do, the future will change, that's why he lost some points when he mentioned 'The Little Prince'. But what about the painting eyes? On what it depended? Was it because of something he did? Then what he can do in the future to stay the same? And does he even wants it to be the same? 

He isn't acting like he was back then, those 6 years ago. Should he follow the path that de chose then or should he act as he would do now? But wasn't it kinda risky? He wasn't sure if you will fall for present him. Maybe it's just a safer option to act like the younger me would. Just in case. 

But guys, remember that the person is supposed to fall for who you really are, not for someone you created. You don't need to change yourself just to fit in someone's standards or type. Because when this person will eventually fall for you, she or he will fall for what you created. 

And how long can you pretend to be someone else? 

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 Guys! I am terribly sorry for this long delay but there was a lot going on and I haven't got much time for myself. My free time was almost 0. 

But I came today to deliver the next chapter. Hope you liked this one!

What do you think will happen next? Do you have any predictions about this book? I will gladly read them, maybe you will get me an idea? ;))