First Day

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It was the first day of lectures. Now the trouble was really about to start. I'd been up far too early to prepare, even though the lecture theatre was barely ten minutes from our halls.

To start with, I was meeting a whole new cohort of students today. Now was the time to sort out that all-important 'personal style' thing that had caught me out at Freshers Fair. An outfit could be a distinguishing feature, something that the strangers I was supposed to be studying with could come to recognise me by. I needed something I could replicate most days I had lectures, without much thought, without buying any more clothes. That ruled out all the quirky vintage-style outfits, fancy hairstyles and stylish looks I'd seen other students sporting.

In fact, it left me with basically one option, and though it might not be my first choice, well, a Biochemistry course seemed like a reasonable place to let my inner chemistry nerd shine.

Hence I was wearing jeans and a tight fitting grey t-shirt reading If I was Sodium and you were Chlorine I'd give you my extra electron.

Yeah, lame joke.

I had a whole set of bad science joke t-shirts, probably around seven in total. Jason had been buying them for me ever since I told him I was taking most of the science subjects at college. I couldn't complain, as he used them to wrap up boxes of my favourite white chocolate truffles, and I was addicted to those things. And now, I'd have enough to cycle through them most days we had lectures, until I felt more comfortable with my classmates at least. I could declare my social position pretty clearly with the help of the t-shirt text – no one would be under any illusion that I might be cool.

I threw a cardigan over the top. I could always use it to cover up the t-shirt when I realised it was too mortifying.

At quarter to ten, exactly the agreed time, I stepped out into the corridor to find Ed waiting for me, wearing what looked like a battered leather jacket, his hair ruffled and pushed back. I hadn't spoken to him since the kiss-dare incident. We'd been in separate taxis, and he'd disappeared as usual in the club. But this morning he seemed to be in a good mood. He eyed my t-shirt, and chuckled.

"I dig that top," he said.

"My brother gave it to me. It's a bit cringe, I know. But I figure since we're literally starting a degree in this stuff, there's no better occasion. What about you, is that leather?"

"Yeah," he said. I raised my eyebrows. Seemed like his vegetarianism didn't stretch very far.

"Oh, I didn't buy it," he said, as though reading my mind. "I don't buy leather. It belonged to my grandad."

We headed off, making our way down the stairs and zigzagging across campus. The Gloria Desmond building was an ugly monstrosity of a place. We piled in alongside hundreds of other students, and identified our lecture theatre with the help of multiple large signs that appeared to have been stuck up to aid lost Freshers. Slotting into seats halfway up the room, we watched the space fill with the buzz of new students. At two minutes past ten, the lecturer strolled up to the podium, and the babble gradually settled.

"Welcome, students," she said. And so, the course began.

***

"The seminar was pretty good, there's a nice girl called Ayesha who seems friendly. And that's basically everything for day one. Oh, and I applied for a job," I said, tilting the lid of my laptop to improve the lighting on my webcam image.

"A job?" said my Mum. Her caring face and warm ginger hair took up most of my laptop screen. She had, as usual, managed to angle her screen to cut off the top inch of her head.

"Yeah. Just cleaning in the Union building. It's not exactly glamorous but the pay looks okay. They were advertising when I went in at lunchtime."

"Did you not want to look for something science-related? Something that might help you with your degree?"

My Mum had been my biggest supporter and influencer when it came to studying Biochemistry. A science graduate herself who hadn't quite managed to pursue her dreams as far as full time lab work, she was passionate about getting young women into STEM. My childhood had been a blur of rainy day tech projects and visits to the Science Museum, and she'd known exactly how to link facts about the world to my own personal interests. But we both knew that it took more than a degree and a few relevant hobbies to carve out a career in this field.

"I've looked, honestly Mum. But the only lab support jobs I could see wanted either more experience or they were open for higher years only. I figured I can start with the cleaning and just prove I can manage work and studying, and then I'll be in a better place for applying for a lab job when I can."

"Alright, sweetheart. But make sure you're not taking on too much for yourself. You know, if you need more financial support for your studies..."

"I don't, Mum, it's fine. I just want some different work experience on my CV. I might not get it anyway, I bet hundreds of students have applied. There's one that's an early morning shift, and that's good hours for me. You know how I like to be up and about. Besides, it'll keep me –" I was about to say, 'out of the flat,' but I realised I didn't want to worry her too much about how I was getting on here. "– out of trouble."

"Okay, Ellen, just don't overdo things for yourself, please?"

I gave her a reassuring smile.

"I won't, Mum, I promise."

"I'll need to go in a minute, the food's nearly done. Have you been eating properly? Oh, have you heard from Jason at all this week?"

I held up my plate to show her evidence of proper eating, tilting it a bit so that she couldn't see that it was only the tell-tale crumbs of yet another sandwich.

"Yeah, he just said he's getting started on some of his final year projects, why? Haven't you?"

"Oh, you know how he is," she said, distantly. "If he's talking to you then that's all good. I'm coming, I'll be one minute!" She'd turned her head to the back of the room and was shouting to my Dad, who was the main family cook.

"Go on, Mum, I'll speak to you soon. Love you," I said.

"I love you too. Take care of yourself!"

It always took her several minutes to figure out how to end the call, so I hung up for her. I sat for a minute staring at the empty screen, then fired off a quick message to Jason. I had grown out of the days of using my sisterly privileges to try to guilt trip him into talking to our parents, but I still needed to be sure for myself that he was doing okay.

Day one of lectures. Here's to four more years of staring at presentation slides, I said.

Jason replied with a few bored emoji faces.

At least you can sleep through the lectures. You can't sleep through your dissertation. Believe me, I'm trying my hardest.

I sent him a laughing gif, chewing my lip. I knew Jason wasn't a natural student. The middle class expectations that came from our parents fitted onto me like a glove. For Jason, it was a bit more awkward. He dragged himself through his degree, because it wasn't really optional, and he got respectable grades, though not the best. I just knew he hadn't enjoyed himself so much doing it. Still, one more year and he'd be out into the adult world with a Master's under his belt. Hopefully.

It's pretty good, actually. Rocking one of your science t-shirts, got a few laughs

He seemed okay, at least. I scanned the timetable for tomorrow. More lectures with Ed, a few seminars. Labs started on Wednesday. I shut my laptop and pulled out my pajamas, relishing the chance for an early night.

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