Masquerade

16

I lay in my bed, listening to their barely audible conversation. They'd all been worried, and the congregation that refuses to leave my apartment is a testament to just how much. I had refused to go to my parents' house and so they had decided to come here instead; their voices drift to me from the next room amid all the others. It fills me with a sense of security.

I don't want to be alone. My thoughts would surely keep me company enough, but that might not be the best thing for me right now. There are too many questions I can't answer twisted up inside them, too many questions that only lead to more. I'm far too tired to come up with answers, or to ward them off should they be ones that I can't emotionally handle right now.

Twice my mother has come to check on me, and at least once have each of the others. My dad had stayed the longest, and though he'd said very little, just his presence alone had given me a sense of peace.

"Hey, sis," Ava says softly.

I open my eyes to find her standing in my doorway. "Hey."

She crosses the room, then gently settles herself on the edge of the bed next to me. She reaches out, lays a cool hand on my forehead, and gives me a tiny smile. "Feels like your fever's coming down. Mom said it was pretty high while you were at ..."

I close my eyes when she pauses. She can't bring herself to say his name. I almost laugh at the irony of that. Usually she's the first to slip with things that shouldn't be said, but today it seems she's trying hard to avoid it.

"Yeah, I was pretty out of my mind for a while." I release a sigh with my words.

"I'd say so. Why else would you call ... him?"

My smile fades and I wearily shake my head. I still can't remember having done that, but how else could he have known where to find me? How else could I possibly have ended up at his place?

"You're thinking about Spencer, aren't you?" She smooths my hair back from my forehead and I nod.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she answers. "You know you can ask me anything."

I take a breath then hold it while I think how to word my thoughts. I let it out slowly, then turn my head to look out my doorway. I can still hear everyone chatting softly out there, and I think about them as I speak.

"Would you have answered the phone if Spencer had called you?"

She's quiet a moment before she lets out a small laugh. "You can bet your ass I would have. I still haven't had a chance to tell that piece of shit exactly what I think about him. I'd have broken my neck to take that call."

I nod my head then close my eyes. "What about Mom and Dad? Think they would have?"

"Dad? No. Mom? Probably. And before you ask: Sarah, yes; Aiden, no. And Nick doesn't even know him, so he wouldn't have gotten a call. Now, let me ask you something."

"Okay."

"Why are you asking?"

I think about Spencer, the time I'd spent at his apartment, and his excuse as to why he didn't let anyone know where I was. And then, I tell Ava. She's quiet a long moment before she responds.

"Sounds to me like he's making an excuse."

"But why would he do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe he thought if he could have you all to himself for a little while, he might be able to change your mind."

I frown at her theory and turn my head to look at her. "You've been talking to Sarah, haven't you?"

She smiles at me, completely unabashed. "Of course. You know that's one of my super powers: no one can keep a secret from me."