You're Everything I Want [PondPhuwin] {Incomplete}

Pond's Diary 3(✿)

✧Pond's pov✧

He just finished taking a shower, get dry, before climb up on his bed, grab his pen and his most precious belongings, his book with a 'my journey with you' title, and starting to pour out his thoughts.

For the past two weeks I've been replaying the same thing in my head, the same 'scene', where it filled with tons of emotion. Happy, scared, worry and curious. And off course, as a human, being happy are our most favorite feeling, and to sum it up, I'm so happy. No. Beyond happy, it's almost makes me feels as if I'm in the heaven. I know, I'm being cheesy, if only I have the courage to give you, read this. I'm pretty sure you're gonna puke.

He chuckled, while spinning the pen. The same event enters his mind as if they knew, they're his favorite visitors. A soft smile formed his lips.

If only you could sense how happy I was, to be kissed by you. Phuwin..I'm freaking happy! Even till now. I'm  so so happy. Finally I gotta touch, devoured those soft lips against mine. It's felt amazing! And I'm terrible sorry sucking your lips. I can't hold it. And I'm kinda sorry for not sorry?

He laughed, remembered how he asked himself to the toilet and when he came back, Phuwin was just complaining about him, mostly about how hard he sucks his lips and how shocked he was but due to the scare of  being cuts by the director, he tried not to, And he, Pond gave him an excuse. Basically because he was trying to makes the kiss looks real. When the truth isn't.

I'm sorry for not sorry for being happy because of it. What do you expect me to feel else. And I can't help but to be so excited about our next kisses. I can't wait. And now I'm so addicted to those hazel eyes.

But then again, it's also scares me, I knew doing this for long periods of time, is like I'm killing myself slowly. Yeah people often says, the reality most of the time disappointing than the expectations.
The fact that, I'm able to get into your presence, and to be able to touch you was simply because of this show, maddening me. It's hurt me to realize that, the emotions, the care and loving eyes you gave to me is not more than just an acting. Not because you love me for me. Not for Pond, but for Mork. Yeah, here I go again, questioning myself, should I enjoy this while I still have the chance to be with you or should I stop it.
And deep down I know the second options is the most impossible steps for me to do it. With you being close to me, almost everyday at the shooting place, makes it's a hard choice to be picked.
Phuwintangsakyuen....tell me what do I have to do.

As he finished writing the last verse. He close his eyes and swallow his saliva down. A harsh breath forcedly push out from his nose, he sighed. He put the book in it's place and pull the blanket up to his chest while resting his hand on his forehead.

"Goodnight, my love" The last words he whispered before he let the dreams takes over his head.

(✧)

How's it?
Finally today I'm have some time to write a chaps, I know it's short. I'm sorry. 😌. How are u guys? FUTS already finished. With the end of it, I found it difficult for me to gain a strength. Like there's no other serotonin for me to look after every week. As if I just lost another sources of my strength again. Hahaha, I just love this series so dearly. Are there any series suggestions for me to binge? Oh btw, my favorite scene in the last episode is when Mork help Pi gets up when they're in the front yard. I love the way Mork hold Pi's wait 😍😍 they're so cutee!