THE HYPOTHETICAL REALITY

Chapter 5

I remember the first time when I saw her on the very first day of college, when she came for orientation, wearing a yellow sun-kissed dress and her long wavy brunet hairs were all over the place. I couldn't take my eyes off her so, I followed her without conscience of right or wrong. She hypnotized me with her presence and I got lost and I am following her since then.

I don't believe in love and all but even I am unaware of what exists between us. I am sure it's something beyond physical attraction. I have experienced physical attraction before in my teenage but this feeling is far deeper than that.

I rather call it something between attraction and love. It's just every time I am somewhere in her presence, my time stops, the only thing I wish is to keep watching her. And she, without any effort just take my heart away from me.

I have lost count of how many times I have fallen, head over heels for her. First time I thought it's her yellow dress and hair, but later her kindness, her childishness, her matureness, her boldness, her love for books, her love for food, her love for animals, her politeness, helpful nature, and the list goes on. Now the condition is that it is mandatory for me to see her every day to breathe.

If only I were a human... I might have the heart, to sum up, these feelings to be close to her emotionally, mentally, and physically but I am aware that she doesn't need somebody like me in her life. Above all, if we became close, I can't take the risk of exposing our species in front of her. She doesn't believe in our existence and keeping it that way is better for her and for us.

While I was in the turmoil of thoughts because of my stupid heart, Buddha's Beautifully answered me saying

"When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily."

I might not aware of my true feelings for her but I am sure that I want her to grow in her world, if that means I can't stay close to her... hell I don't care, till I am aware that she is happy and safe. I am good to be in the dark for her to shine.

I am born like this, my parents were born like this and we are comfortable in our niche. I don't know who started all these fantasy novels but we seem to be glorified in them. Some novels even showed us as the epitome of cruel and scary beings but rather we stay far away from controversies.

We are not open regarding our identities, we stay lowkey and safe. Just our inbuilt is different, other than that we live like humans... we attend colleges and do jobs, eat human food and do chores which are important. Pack system and the alpha system is a big misconception here because we are living among humans, we prefer to stay connected to our type and there are some ground rules for us because we don't want bad misfortune to knock at our doors.

We are happy the way we are and will be if we stay the way we are staying. I am not ashamed of being different in society. why should I be? it's just how I am built and I respect God's choice for making me like this. No one among us regrets being who we are.

Me being like this and she being a human is a tough call. My liking toward her grows every single day. I am practically blinded by her aura. She is unaware of my existence and will not believe in my presence even if God himself comes and tell her about me. For her, science can answer anything, I admire her for not getting fooled by hormones and asking for evidence for every fantasy she came across.

Stalking her is wrong, I am aware of human laws because we follow them too, but I am helpless in front of my heart. I mean no harm to her just my selfish self of calming my inner soul is making me committing this crime. I don't invade her privacy because my Mama taught me better, I just like dreaming in her aura of us being together without these differences. I don't blame myself for stalking her if that's the only way of me being close to her because I mean no harm to her. She is so precious to me.