Gem in the Rough

Chapter 39

Kieran knocks on the door of the ivory house, the "Welcome" sign moving in tandem. He squeezes my hand as we wait for my mom to open the door. Kieran had texted her late last night about our visit, so we knew she was home awaiting our arrival.

The door opens slowly. I see my mom's face, bags under her eyes and her hair up in a ponytail. She has another sweater on and a pair of jeans. She looks so normal, but also so worn down. I want to feel bad but don't know if I do.

"Hi Gemma, Kieran," she says, gesturing for us to go inside. I step in hesitantly with Kieran behind me. He urges me forward enough so my mom can shut the door.

"Thanks for having us Mrs. Timley."

"Of course," she waves her hand and brings her arms around, hugging herself. "You can place your coats on the rack there and then we can sit in the living room if you'd like."

We do as she says in silence, then follow her into a large family room. The L-shaped sofa is a deep brown that is set in the middle of the room along with a coffee table. I sit with Kieran on one side while my mom sits across from us on the other.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

I shake my head, "No, thank you."

An awkward silence sets in, and I realize I don't want to do this; the tenseness of it all. I just don't have the time.

"So, I talked to dad," I say abruptly.

I hear her breath hitch in her throat and then she lets it out slowly.

"How did that go?"

"It was good. I, um, spoke with my therapist about everything too. That helped." I blush after I admit that I go to therapy. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed. It makes me feel exposed to have people know that I guess.

"I'm glad. Have you been going to therapy long?"

She actually wants to know about this?

"Yeah, for a long time now actually. Over half my life. My therapist, Stacey, is amazing."

My mom smiles shyly and nods. "I started going a few months after I uh, had to give you up." She looks to the floor and then around the room, anywhere but at me. "I've gone ever since. It really helps."

"I'm glad you think that. Dad has never been a fan."

She huffs, "I'm not surprised." Then she finally looks at me. I give her a small that she returns.

We get quiet again, and I remember that Kieran is still beside me. I turn my attention to him briefly and see his mouth tilt up softly. It's his way of telling me, this is going well. I nod my agreement and turn back to my mom. She's eyeing us with amazement in her eyes and then shakes herself out of it.

"I know you wanted to come here to learn more about Jillian, so I can show you her room?" She stands up and wipes her pants distractedly.

"That would be great, if that's okay?"

"Yes, of course." We begin to walk through the house and ascend the stairs as she continues her thoughts. "I haven't really been in there much since she died. It's hard to be around her things but I also can't get myself to get rid of anything. If you look around and see anything you may want, just tell me, okay?"

I nod absentmindedly as we stop in front of a door that has a wooden "J" on it, covered in bright teal paint. I smile to myself and begin to tear up at the thought of what I'm about to do. Kieran is beside me, holding my hand. He squeezes it and silently asks if I'm ready. I give him the "ok" and he turns the doorknob.