4 Words To Say Goodbye

Chapter 8 - Broken Promise

ASHER

"JUST PRETEND that you didn't heard anything." Chloe said. "Ayaw niyang mag alala ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya." Umiwas siya ng tingin at pinunasan ang mga luha na tumulo Mula sa mga mata niya.

"Ano bang nangyayari?" Naguguluhang tanong ko. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan. "Naguguluhan na ako sa inyo." Reklamo ko pa.

"She's having her Check up." She answered me. "Pero nasasaktan akong makita siyang nasasaktan. Hindi ko kayang makita si Cheska na nahihirapan lagi." Nagbaba siya ng tingin.

"She doesn't deserve the pain she's having. But she's strong. She can get through this. Tiwala lang!" Shan encourage Chloe by telling her that Cheska's gonna be fine.

Napatingin na lamang ako sa pintuang nakasara. I envy Cheska. She has friends that always care for her. She's loved by many. So she needs to live for them. She has to.

"Oh tahan na. Mamaya tutulo ipin mo wala akong panyo." Shan tried to light up the atmosphere while telling those words to Chloe. Agad naman siyang sinamaan ng tingin ng huli.

"Sipon iyon, bonak!" Natawa siya ng mahina. Pero dahil doon ay napansin ko ang pag ngiti ni Shan.

"Edi ikaw na matalino," ngisi ni Shan.

"Talaga!" Ngumisi din sa kaniya ng mayabang si Chloe.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay bumukas ang pintuan at lumabas na ang ilang nurses na nanggaling sa kwarto ni Cheska. Naiwan naman ang doctor at kasalukuyang kinakausap si Nurse Cha.

Nang lagpasan nila kami ay tsaka lamang ako nakasilip ng maayos sa kwarto ni Cheska. Nakahiga ito ngayon at halata sa mukha niya ang sakit at pagod.

"Huwag kang papasok, kung iyon ang balak mong gawin." Bulong ni Chloe sa akin pero hindi ko siya pinansin.

"Asher, please don't go inside her room at this state." Shan warned me too but I was really determine to check Cheska's condition.

I slowly walked inside her room not minding Shan and Chloe's warning not to go inside. After all Cheska always helps me. Isn't it time to help her too?

"Hey," paunang bati ko. Nanghihina niya akong tinignan bago siya nagsalita.

"Why are you here?" I can sense irritation in her voice. "Mamaya ka na bumisita. Please get out." Mahinahon na saad niya pero hindi ako nakinig.

"No," parang bata akong umiling. "I won't." Pagmamatigas ko pa.

"At bakit?" Naguguluhang tanong niya. "Ang tigas ng ulo!" Inis na sabi niya pero hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya.

"Because the moment I saw you this morning on this kind of situation. I promised myself to be by your side no matter what happens and not to hurt you because hurting you hurts million times more than myself." I sincerely told her as my hand grabbed her's and squeezed it tightly.

Napatingin siya doon sa kamay kong hawak ang isa niyang kamay at naluluhang tinignan ako. I gave her an assuring smile that tells her that I'm with her no matter what.

Slowly, a small smile was plastered on her lips after what I did. It wasn't a sad or a weak smile. But it was a sweet smile. Small yet memorable.

"Thank you, A-Asher." She mumbled before closing her eyes slowly and doze to slumber.

"AREN'T YOU afraid?" I asked Cheska.

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa kwarto niya, wala sina Shan at Chloe dahil hindi namin sinabing magkita kita kami ngayong gabi.

Nakaupo siya sa kama niya habang kumakain at ako naman ay nasa harapan niya. Hindi na ako umalis sa tabi niya nang makatulog siya dahil may kung ano sa dibdib ko na gusto ko siyang bantayan.

"Takot, saan?" Parang batang tanong niya.

"On death." Seryosong sagot ko. She wasn't surprised on my question. It was a total opposite reaction that I imagined she would express!

"Sa totoo lang, takot ako." She paused before eating a grape. "Pero lahat kasi ng bagay may hangganan. Not everything nor everyone stays. Sometimes, we just need to accept the fact that a living person or thing always has an end." She gave me a wry smile.

"What keeps you on holding on? I'm curious." Usisa ko pa. Natawa siya bago ulit kumain at nagsalita.

"Para sa mga taong nandiyan para sa akin." She answered quickly. "Noon, I accepted that my life will end because fighting is useless but I can't leave them. Hindi ko makakayanang makita silang masaktan lalo na kapag ako ang dahilan. That's why even when it's hard I chose to stay." Cheska smiled softly.

"Their lucky to have you eh?" Napangiti ako.

"Ako kaya ang maswerte sa kanila." Mayabang na aniya. "Dahil kahit alam nilang may bandang mawawala ako, they chose to stay beside me." Pagmamalaki niya pa.

"Corny mo pakinggan pero may point." I pinched her cheeks kaya bahagyang namula ang mga ito dahil sa panggigigil ko.

Nang matapos iyon ay nagkwentuhan pa kami pero nang makita kong humikab siya ng makailang ulit ay napagpasyahan ko nang magpaalam para maka-pag pahinga na siya.

"Will you stay beside me no matter what happens?" She asked, half asleep. I slowly nodded.

"I will," I leaned to kiss her forehead. She seemed not notice it because she's already asleep. "But only as your friend. Kasi hanggang doon lang naman tayo." I whispered before getting out of her room.

Nang gabing iyon ay hindi ako nakatulog. Hindi dahil hindi na ako natulungan ni Cheska kundi sa bumabagabag sa akin. Kamusta na kaya si mama? Cheska's right. It's time to let my mom find her happiness.

Sa ilang linggo ko dito sa hospital ay madami akong natutunan sa kaniya. She's a very genuine person. She's sometimes annoying but I always find it cute.

She's not that perfect either. She's the kind of a girl that can't do anything because she's a weakling but she can destroy the​ high walls that surrounds you.

Kinaumagahan, maaga akong bumangon para kumain ng breakfast sa canteen. Baka kasi hindi ako makakain mamayang nandiyan nanaman sina Shan dahil sa kadaldalan at kadugyutan nila.

Nang makapasok na ako sa canteen ay kinuha ko ang usual na kinakain ko tuwing umaga at naghanap ng makakainan. When I saw a good spot I immediately sat on it.

I was in the middle of enjoying my meal when I saw a tray laid on my table. Agad akong napatingin sa nagbaba ng tray. Isang babaeng naka casual na damit na may kaunting bangs at mahabang brown na buhok ang nakangiti ngayon sa harap ko.

I looked at her blankly and didn't bother to mind her. She seemed embarrassed on what I did but I didn't care. She cleared her throat first before talking.

"Can I sit here?" She asked, sweetly. But instead of answering I stared at her blankly and didn't bother to utter any word. "Okay... I'll just take that as a yes." She awkwardly sat in front of me.

I didn't mind her presence and just continued eating my breakfast. But when I was about to take my last bite on my sandwich she got herself a table napkin and wiped it on the side of my lips.

Agad akong napatayo dahil sa inasta niya at maging siya rin ay nagulat sa ginawa niya! Matalim ko siyang tinignan habang napapahiya siyang nagkamot sa noo.

"Th-There was a dirt on your l-lips. That's why I-I wiped it." She explained. "I-I'm sorry." Nagbaba siya ng tingin.

Pero hindi iyon ang ikinabahala ko. Gulat akong napatingin sa babaeng nasa tapat lamang ng table namin. May dextrose pa siya at akmang pupunta ito sa direksyon namin.

Agad niyang nabitiwan ang tray niya at nag-simula nang maglakad paalis. I promised that I won't hurt her but here I am. A big fucking asshole.

That's when I noticed I was already after her to explain my side.