Jschlatt Smut and Oneshots

Blind Date

Ayo guess who it is. I'm back bitches. My writing is a bit spunky because I haven't been doing much of it recently but bear with me. Here's a lil story of Schlatt going on a blind date with (y/n).

Schlatts POV:
I hate people. They're horrible. Yet here i am, sitting in a fucking Starbucks listening to Doja Cat's new hit surrounded by them. Why did i agree to a blind date? I have no idea. All I know is that Ted thought I just absolutely had to get out and meet someone new.

Again, why did i agree. I have no feelings. Especially romantic feelings towards anyone. Yeah I think people are hot and I like to occasionally do saucy things with them but never anything more.

All I need is my wii games and my massage gun. I began zoning out, tapping my foot to the tempo of the song that was playing. The name was unknown to me but was better than the previous one.

My body quivered in disgust. Doja Cat. Gross. (an, i like doja cat this is no doja cat slander just the first artist i thought of) I checked my watch for the 50th time since I entered this hell hole.

They were supposed to be here 15 minutes ago. Might as well order anyways since I'm here I guess.

The bell above the door rang as I exited the small booth I previously occupied. Ignoring whoever came in, I continued to make my way towards the counter.

The line was short, only making up of about three people, so I didn't mind the wait. Footsteps approached the back of me. Curiosity took over and I quickly looked behind me.

There before me was the single handedly most gorgeous human being I had ever set my eyes on. Yes  I know, "You're such a simp Schlatt", "That's so cringe", "You're so cheesy", but cmon man, look at them.

Their eyes had literal sparkles and their nose was so adorable on their cute little face. Their cheeks were the perfect shade of blush, accompanying their skin tone nicely.

I shook my head of the gross thoughts and quickly turned back forward. They probably noticed me staring a fraction longer than I should've.

I was soon startled when the person behind me cleared their throat. "Excuse me, I'm looking for someone by the name 'Schlatt', could that be you by any chance?".

My eyes widened as I quickly came to the conclusion that this was in fact the person Ted set me up with. Now I can understand why.

"U-uh yeah actually, are you (y/n)?". They laughed, probably because of the small stutter i just had, but I couldn't help myself smiling along with them. Their laugh was addictive.

"Am I that scary? Or do you normally have a stutter?"

My cheeks heated up. "No neither actually, just nervous. I haven't been out on a date in quite some time." I swallowed. What is happening to me? I've never been like this, not even with previous exes.

"That's perfectly fine. Don't worry I don't bite. Unless you want me to." They winked and the simple comment sent me into a small laughing fit.

What the fuck. Me laughing. At something so small like that? I shook it off and prayed that it was the bottle of dayquil I chugged this morning just getting to me.

I finally stopped and wiped a few stray tears away. "You're next."

(Y/n) was pointing in the direction of the barista who seemed to have been waiting on me for a bit. "Sorry about that. I'll just have a venti black coffee and whatever they want."

I simply pointed to (y/n) and waited for them to order.

(Y/n) POV:
Fuck. Fuck fuCK fUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I woke up late. Good job (y/n). First date you have in three years and you're late. All that's left for you to do is to make sure you have everything.

I did exactly that, making a mental note of everything before making my way out my door. I started speed walking to the Starbucks closest to me where my blind date was arranged.

I double checked my watch and said fuck it. I began sprinting. Like full on running. This is the most exercise I've had since high school.

As the shop came into view i slowed to a jog. Reaching out for the door I quickly pulled it open and made my way inside towards the line.

The only information Ted told me was that the guy I was meeting was hella tall and his name was. Wait a second. What was his name? It was similar to shit or suit or something like that. Shat? Slab? Fuck garbanzo bean or some shit like that.

I quickly pulled out my phone to check the text Ted sent me. Ohhhhhhh. His name was Schlatt. I looked to see the person infront of me was extremely tall. He looked back at me, studying my face for a few seconds before turning red and facing the front.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for someone by the name of 'Schlatt', could that be you by any chance?"

He turned a deeper shade of red. "U-uh yeah actually, are you (y/n)." He asked. I couldn't help myself but laugh at his small stutter. Dick move I know but am I really that scary to a 6'4 grown man?

"Am I that scary? Or do you normally have a stutter?" I asked. From the wrong perspective it was a rude thing to say, but I just wanted to make conversation before things got awkward.

"No neither actually, just nervous. I haven't been out on a date in quite some time." I felt horrible after he said those words. My mouth opened and closed like a fish as I looked for the next words to say before deciding to lighten the mood a bit.

"That's perfectly fine. Don't worry I don't bite. Unless you want me to." I winked at him for extra measure. He began laughing and I soon accompanied him. I don't know how it was so funny to him, but his laugh was contagious.

I stopped laughing before him and noticed the barista glaring at me. I waited for his giggle fit to stop before pointing in their direction and saying "You're next." He whipped around to see the barista with the same look on their face as before.

He fixed his composure and began his order. "Sorry about that. I'll just have a venti black coffee and whatever they want." His thumb pointed in my direction and I quickly walked up to the counter.

I placed my order and reached in my purse for my wallet before realizing it wasn't in there. "Fuck me sideways with a broomstick. I left my wallet at home. Just forget my order." The barista nodded and made their move to remove it before Schlatt stepped in.

"No it's fine. Let me pay." He pulled a fat $100 bill out and slammed it on the table. Oh ho ho, big guy flashing his money?

As if my mind was read he explained his case. "Sorry I prefer paying with cash rather than card. And that's the only bill I have on me." His reasoning seemed plausible and I let it slide. This time.

We lingered by the counter and made conversation while waiting for our drinks. Our names were soon called and we grabbed them, heading out of the shop and into the busy street.

People and care were bustling with noise filling the area but to be honest, me and Schlatt didn't care. I was having a wonderful time and he was a funny guy. I assumed he felt the same because I often felt his hand brush against mine.

"Oh my god you pussy just hold my hand! We're not middle schoolers." I finally exclaimed, grabbing his large palm and holding it in mine.

Sorry if this is too short. If you want a second part just say so :)). Have a wonderful night my beautiful people.