[TW] alcohol, angst, language, sexism (insult & shame).
there he was, standing before the person he longed to be with, and all hoseok could do was stare. he was out of it, thanks to the drugs and alcohol delaying his actions, his intoxicated state worsening each passing minute.
being a well-known international idol, hoseok had constant company. even now, in the privacy of this club, he had a stunning woman clinging to him. despite all this, he'd never felt more alone.
the only one who was able to make him feel whole was her. it would always be her.
"hoseok, are you alright?" asked jaein, reaching out to rest her hand on his tricep, knowing the gesture helped soothe him.
even through his intoxicated state, he could see her worry. jaein looked at him tenderly, and if he weren't frustrated at himself for his past mistakes, he wouldn't have missed the twinkle of love reserved only for him.
it angered him to see she still cared for him, after all, he did to her. "don't touch me," he slapped her hand away, "don't you dare touch me."
jaein jumped away from him instantly, looking down at her hand as if she had been burnt. her eyes darted back to him, blinking back her sorrow, and he felt guilty knowing her hurt was always his fault.
you hurt her even when you
don't mean to. you're disgusting.
"damn it, hoseok! let me help you," she shouted, tears pooling at the corner of her eyes.
"please, you need help," she begged, fingers curling helplessly into a fist, "i just want to help."
"i'm fine," he waved her off, eyes hardening when her partner put a reassuring hand on her waist, "why don't you go back to loverboy? be a good girl and give him a good time like the ones we had."
"why can't you hate me? after all the pain i put you through, why do you still look at me like you used to?" he asked in his clouded mind, too afraid to ask out loud, knowing he wasn't worthy of an explanation.
you don't deserve her kindness. she should
be screaming at you, cursing you, blaming
you for what happened. it's your fault, after
all, remember? the only thing you're worthy
of is her hate.
hoseok smirked down at jaein and grabbed soomin's waist pulling her flush to his chest. hoseok couldn't understand why jaein cared for him. even though his actions were the opposite of what he meant, hoseok still cared for jaein in his own way.
he missed her, he needed her, but he knew he didn't deserve her, so he had to make her hate him.
"remember? soft silk sheets and hard cold restraints? here's some advice," Hoseok took sick delight in seeing jaein's partner disturbed face, "when you fuck her just right, she starts to make the most—"
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" jaein's partner cut him off, glaring at him.
"yoongi, it is alright," soothed out jaein. she linked their fingers together, calming him. at least until hoseok spoke up again, glaring at their linked hands.
"i have no problem and neither does jaein. you're the one getting offended, yoongi," he spat the name with venom, grinning sweetly, "but if i'm bothering you that much, don't worry. soomin and i were going to have a few more drinks and leave."
he heard a soft gasp from jaein but didn't spare them a second glance, knowing that if he did, her eyes would haunt the rest of his night.
he pulled soomin along, who had scrutinized the entire ordeal, off the dance floor and towards the bar, "what was that all about?" asked soomin, somewhat confused about the scenario that had unfolded before her.
"it's nothing," he replied, asking for a shot of tequila before continuing, "and it'll better if you just forgot it."
"hmm, you know," soomin laughed, took his shot, and asked the bartender for her tab, "she must've done a number on you."
"i hope you get better, jung hoseok," she paid her bill and walked out the exit, leaving hoseok alone again.
even if he wanted to go after her, he wouldn't have been able to catch up to her, so he stumbled to a secluded area that looked down at the dance floor, "that fucking bitch left after enjoying the show, i hate bitches like her," he mumbled to himself while closing his eyes to rest the migraine he had been trying to ignore since his brief interaction with yoongi.
when he opened his eyes, glancing briefly at the dance floor, hoseok groaned in annoyance. from where he was sat, he had a clear view of jaein and yoongi, "they seem to be doing alright. that bastard did not leave after all i said."
you wish you were there with her. pulling her close,
touching her, smelling her sweet perfume.
it's no one's fault but your own.
you let her go.
you're worthless. you don't deserve her. you know that,
yet you can't help but crave her touch. her attention gave
you such a high; no amount of drug could make you feel
that way again.
he's probably high off her right now.
with those shy glances and sways of her hips,
he should be drowning in her by now.
all his senses intoxicated by her.
you remember how that felt, don't you?
to have her in your arms.
well, too bad. she's with him now.
he's taken her from you.
he stole what is yours.
what are you going to do?
hoseok snapped out of his daze, the last words echoing through his mind. he knew what he was had to do.
i feel like my writing is
formally informal. idk
what do y'all think?
also how r y'all doing today?
DO NOT FORGET
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© ARIE5OLOGY , aka salem — do not steal
YOU ARE READING
hiraeth.
Fanfiction[ jung hoseok ; updating and unedited ] two souls, perfectly wrong for each other, are drawn together once more by the string of fate in an attempt to fix their broken past- a final opportunity to heal their brokenness. published: 2021/06/07 est. 𝟤...
