The Story of the Vampire, L (Completed | Featured )

Part 7 - No taste, no color, no odor

I woke in the small bedroom, in the dark. I looked for Laurent with my hands across the covers, but found myself alone. Sitting up in the dimness, I saw that a note had been left for me, but I couldn't read it. I took it and walked carefully out of the room, holding onto the wall. 

In those days, dark was truly dark. There is a silence to deep darkness, which now is difficult to find. These days, there is always some electric noise far distant -- a turning ceiling fan, or the low rumble of a refrigerator. Then, we had none of it, and a vampire could stand quite still in a room, in such darkness as closing one's eyes made no difference, and lie in wait for a noise which might give prey away. I stood quietly in the sitting room for a sound to catch my ear, and soon heard the rhythmic hush of sleeping breath. 

I saw Laurent there, sleeping by himself in the yellow bedroom. Rather than disturb him, but reassured, I took my letter through the scullery towards the back of the house to hold the paper up to the pale moonlight reflecting weakly there. I made out a few words, such as my name, and "love" and "here", but mostly studied the tight letters and the scrolling signature towards the bottom. It was cold and damp by the scullery window, and I felt the chill which Laurent had earlier complained of, and some dizziness. Mercifully, there was a perfect lightness in my lungs, and no pain. 

By my feet, there was a basket of washing and I knelt to look through its contents for something warm to wear. I had by then a few bespoke garments of my own, laid on by Laurent by way of his own tailor, but nothing terribly insulating. Towards the bottom there was a fox fur throw, and I wrapped it around myself. I sat on a stool by the sink with my head lowered, comforted to sit in a small space. I think that all who are old fear the uncertainty of wide, lonely spaces. It is far too like the abyss. I huddled there for some time, mind wandering lazily between thoughts of Laurent dreaming and blood. 

In the morning, my master found me as he walked the house to draw the curtains. He stroked the fox fur and wound a curl of my hair around his finger. He offered me his hand and I took it, feeling somewhat melancholy. Even now, I often suffer from insomnia, and lie awake at night without relief. When left too much to myself, I tend towards sadness. I suppose it is part of my character, brought on in late childhood and with me ever since. His hand held mine loosely.

In the weak light, Laurent took the letter from me and read it, and I ached to be able to read. "It is an invitation from our friend Valentin. There is a fete for Shrove Tuesday this evening, and then drinking and gambling at his salon. See here, no one is sore at all. Society quite loves you. You gave them such a thrill, almost killing V. Will we go, you and I? Valentin says he will simply die if you refuse. Shall we?" he asked.

I shook my head and drew the fur up to cover my chin, in no condition to attend a fete.

"Don't you think the excitement will cheer you a little? Do you mind terribly if I go alone?" he asked. 

When I didn't respond, he took me to bed, beating the pillows into shape and drawing the covers back for me. I could no more go out than read the invitation, impossible in my condition, with little blood and feeling low. 

"Will you take ashes tomorrow? For Ash Wednesday. I will help you to the parish church if without them you would be distressed," he said.

"I don't know," I said. I had lost my sense of time completely.  

When he had seen me tucked in tightly, he asked if I would like to travel away from the city, perhaps to the coast, where I had grown up and been happy as a boy. When I didn't respond to that either, he went to the secretary desk and opened its small drawers until he found my rosary, and put it in my hand. 

"I will go alone then. Pardon me. It will be the last opportunity to do so until after Easter. Tell me if there is anything you need and I will get it for you."