Love Don't Cost A Thing

15.

Derek hadn't gone to school that whole week.

It was Saturday and Meredith pulled up to the side of his house. The second time she's beent here in 4 or days...it made her sad that just 5 days ago, he was at school and happy and being and Derek...before he was Derek...and the last time she saw him...he wasn't Derek. He wasn't her Derek. The one that made snappy, inappropiate comments...the one that laughed. The one that made he shiver when he breathed near her. The one that made her go weak at the knees when she looked into the sea of blue. The one that always left her wanting more when he kissed her...his smooth, hot, lusious lips on hers or her skin-ok...she needed stop thinking about those things...His dad just died.

She was thinking of the Derek she knew as if...she would think those for the rest of her life- No...she wouldn't be thinking those things. She didn't know where she was going to go with Derek...she had only been with him a week...school week she was the one being all sullen and shut up in her bed room.

She scoffed to herself at how selfish she had been. There she had been, being all sulky over her mother being well...her mother...and she knew that what her mother said shouldn't have bothered her...but it had and here she was...the one that cried over her mother calling her a whore when Derek's dad died and he was the one now locked in his bedroom, with Mark and sulking and he had every right to.

She had only been with Derek 2 and half days, filled with happiness and understanding...and then this happened...they hadn't even been really truly happy on Monday with his childness...she couldn't believe that they were truly, fully happy for only one full day...that was pretty pathetic

Now...now Derek's dad had died and everything was sad and bad...her and her friends were still awquered...Her and Derek...she didn't even know where she and him were. He had said she was the love of his life, even after his dad died...he still loved her no matter what...and even her being there, her comforating him, her giving him what he wanted...making him happy...it couldn't make him truly happy...she couldn't be the best for him at the moment...because she couldn't say those three words. She knew she wasn't ready to say them...and when she looked at him, despite the shivers it gives her...she couldn't get the thought of what he had did to her out of her mind.

She hated that she couldn't say those words...she wanted to...but...they had been together for a week...they have known eachother for almost 2 months...that is a lot to go through in 2 months.

You meet a guy...you try not to be with him, because of you past...when really you should have been thinking of your future. But then, when you try to forget that past...it just blows up right in your face. you avoid that fuse that set off the bomb for a lmost two weeks...that fuse tells you it never wanted anything to blow up and that it regretting ever lighting itself...you push him away for a couple of days because of what you stupid ass of a mother said to you...allowing yourself fall back in the work at school...owing to the fact that you didn't go. He comes over and is amazing to you, and you finally let him in, instead of out...you try to be happy, you have fun...you come back to stupid school and everything goes to shit, when that one person that made you go week at the knees, the one person you couldn't get out of your head, but the one person that has only, really, trully hurt you gets hurt back...he gets payback...but really bad payback.

He gets something that should have never happened this early in the first place...which all leads back to him being the one shutting everyone, except his family out, he is the one who is hurt...but so much worse than she has ever hurt.

Yep...her life was crap.

What the hell happened to make her life this screwed up? hoe could she fix it? why was she so dark and twisty...why did she always have to be miserable?