Mildew

The End

After that, the band played other rock and roll songs to a polka beat, but Jesse was still totally stunned by Danny's venture into songwriting. He was also quite upset at how totally un-rock and roll the song was, but he maintained a professional manner. As the night ended, with Joey having taken the twins back to the motel room and put them to bed, Danny asked, "So, Jess, how'd I do?"

"Words fail me," was all he would say.

"Is that good?" Danny asked as D.J. and Stephanie jogged up to him.

Stephanie tried to look on the bright side, as she always did. "You know, Dad," she said happily, "I think you ought to sell the rights to that song. I bet Weird Al Yankovic would buy it." She couldn't imagine anyone else buying it, but she could see him doing it, and she didn't want to hurt Danny's feelings.

"I don't know, Steph; he's pretty big. I think he writes all his own stuff, anyway."

"Yeah," Jesse said, getting the chance to vent a little now that the audience was going home for the night. "She's right. Anything to get that thing away from us."

"What, you didn't like the James K. Polka?"

"No, I didn't. Danny, that was the dumbest song I ever heard in my life," Jesse replied. "It reminds me of when Steph was little and we'd play house, and Steph would pretend I was a bad boy and make me sing Barry Manilow as punishment."

Trying to calm things, D.J. said, "I think what Uncle Jesse's trying to say is, most rock and roll songs have nothing to do with presidents who served 150 years ago."

"Come on, guys; the band was in a bind, and not only was I able to help us out, I wrote what I think is a perfectly good song," Danny said defensively as Nelson, Kimmy, Gia and Gia's mom Claire came up to the group. "Steph loved it; she even thinks Weird Al Yankovic could buy it. Right, Steph?"

Stephanie didn't want to lie to him. "Dad, I didn't say that because I love the song; I said that because I love you. Just like when I made that weird looking tie tack in kindergarten, and you acted all excited and happy even though you had no clue what it was." 

They hugged. Gia looked envious of the close, loving relationship, reminding herself that it was important to show such love to be able to receive it — something Stephanie had pointed out a few times when talking about how Gia treated her mom.

"Well... he does his own stuff anyway," Nelson offered, "but I can have my people call his people, and ask his people to call your people."

Danny sighed. "Well, thanks, Nelson. That's okay." He couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess it was a little corny."

"That's true, Mr. T. What you did was so corny, California outdid Alaska in the amount of corn grown in it tonight," Kimmy declared.

"Kimmy, Alaska is not in the farm belt; they don't grow any corn there."

"I bet you're thinking of Nebraska," Becky informed Kimmy with a smile. "We grew lots of corn where I'm from. That's why our college teams are named the Cornhuskers."

"Oh, I see." Kimmy thought for a second. "I guess Los Angeles has a lot of places that make nail clippers, then, huh? Although, they don't have that many lakes," she mused, referring to the city's two NBA teams, the Lakers and Clippers. The Lakers had moved from Minnesota and kept the name.

D.J. explained, "The Clippers were named after those big clipper ships, not nail clippers."

"You thought the Clippers were named after nail clippers?" Nelson asked incredulously. "What's next, renaming the Warriors the Golden State Toothbrushes?"