IT HAS BEEN SO LOOOOOOONG!!!! I'm sorry 😓
I didn't proofread this so if there are any mistakes please tell me
And....I intended to go with fluff for this chapter but....my hand slipped?
___________________
His arms have seen the blade.
His feet have met the ledge.
His mouth has forgotten how to eat.
His eyes have faced the darkness, blurred by the remnants of his tears.
And his hands...his hands are taking the hands of death.
His feet walking forward, nearing the Kharon, greeting the heavens.
His lips have drawn a smile as the time nears, as the end of the great act arrives and the curtains close in front of him...he smiles.
His eyes brim with unshed tears, for he is finally, lastingly, permanently, disappearing .
But his arms, his arms reach for the unreachable. His fingers graze happiness because he wants to be happy, wants to plaster a smile on his face, wants to feel hope in his chest.
But he also wants to be perfect, beautiful, excellent... enough.
He wants. He needs. He desires.
Alive.
He wants to be alive, but his body screams otherwise.
And now there's a number engraved in his mind where the image of the girl used to be.
52
52
52
kg
"Not enough"- he thinks.
"Not enough"- he cuts.
"Not enough"- he cries.
...
"Make it stop,"- he screams.
______________________________________
There had been a 'fight', no, correction, multiple ' fights' that night.
The first one being: 'Who was getting Xuxi out of his room for movie night'. That one had ended on Yangyang standing up from his place on the floor and walking down the hallway with a victorious grin plastered on his face. He came back with Xuxi's hand on his own a few minutes later, the tall boy wrapped around the biggest hoodie he's seen in his life.
When they arrived at the living room, Yangyang had let go of Xuxi's hand, running back to his place before anyone could take it. Kun had expected Xuxi to do the same, or at least something similar but, after a few minutes of quiet chatter between the others and no movement from the taller boy, he became suspicious.
Xuxi was still standing where Yangyang had left him, the only difference had been the hands that were now in his pockets.
He had analyzed the boy. His shoulders hunched, head low and his expression one of utter confusion and uncertainty. That had stripped the smile from Kun's face.
Seeing Xuxi, his Xuxi so unsure was unsettling, concerning, to say the least. So, he stood up, drew a smile on his lips and approached the boy. Xuxi's head whipped to Kun and stared at the hand being stretched to him as if it was the weirdest thing he's ever seen, but, eventually, the shadow of a smile appeared on his lips, and a hand was laid on Kun's.
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