1 step forward, 3 steps back

party and tires

"Hey guys can I join?" "Tadashi"

Is all I hear as noya tackles me to the ground and hugs me. While also laughing at how easy I was to tackle.

"So where's the gard dog." I tilted my head and raised and eye brow at the statement. Then noya elaborates with saying "tsukishima the tall blonde that always has something to say." "Oh he told me he's not coming tonight." After I said that noya and suga look at me weird and drop the subject. Maybe my eyes said something different then what I said. Tsuki always would complain about it.

I join the circle next's to yachi and hinata with a grumpy kageyama next's to him. He obviously didn't come here to talk.

"OkAY EVERYONE let's play A GaMe" tanaka yells so loud I think the neighbors heard. Suga's definitely going to have a noise complaint filed towards him tomorrow over this.

We start playing truth or dare. It's my turn to answer as daich called my name. "I chose truth" "um okay how are you and tsukishima doing and why isn't he here" noya give him a glare for that truth.

"Um well for our relationship it's ... always been 1 stepforward, and 3 steps back... and I think I made him mad so that's why he's not here." I say with a fake smile on my face and a fracture in my heart.

I called on suga who picked dare. I dared him to call oikawa and talk like a drunk girl that used to follow him around in highschool and gush over him now.

Oikawa wasn't every happy with the dare once he found out.

After my turn I stop playing the game and walk to the counter that has chips. I eat some and then find a empty room.

I slid down the wall slowly and pull my knees to my chest and put mu head on top.

I can't help but two start to cry again and get stuck in my head

"Do you actually love me, want me to stay at all, or hate me.  Just please tell me already I can't keep doing this Kie. I don't understand. Did I say something wrong."

Flashback

The cold breeze hits my nose as we're laying in the park. A blanket under us and a telescope above us. "Hey tsuki." "What is it yamaguchi." "Oh um nothing... nevermind." "I won't know what your thinking if you won't tell me" "um okay you c-can say no or never talk to me again but... I have something to tell you"

"What is it yamaguchi." "Tsuki I'm gay." "Oh that I've known that for awhile" "w-what?" "You thought I didn't see the way you would watch tanaka and blush when he took his shirt off during practice." "Oh"

"So do you like him" "n-no someone else" "and that might be" "um you" i say as I hide my face. It was silent then there was and arm around my face and a hand on my cheek. Within seconds I felt lips on mine.  "I like you too" After hugging eachother on the blanket he takes me home.  He walked me too the door and kissed my forehead then left.

End of flashback

Funny the first night we got together he walked me home but tonight he send(sent) me crying. But that's just another 1 step forward, and 3 steps back. I'm the love of your life until I make you mad.

"Do you hate me, want me, hate me" I'm scared to even ask.  I dont understand. No I don't understand.

After a tear falls down.my cheek I get up and leave the room.

"Hey suga I'm going to go but I had a good time." "Oh okay be careful on the road it's slippery tonight" "yeah yeah thanks"

I say as I'm coming out of the arch way of the front door and close it right behind
Me.