Refuse

Chapter 1

Society has gone off the deep end, everything is now controlled by the government, and choices are no longer yours to make. I lived for everyone but myself, that was until I had enough of it. I always thought the way society was, was wrong, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. When I needed it most a special boy came into my life, but that was later on. Let's start at the beginning of this change that was about to happen, the of week of the day that all of the older generations looked forward to, the day where everything for our lives gets assigned it was called the Day of Choosing. Even though this name was  deceiving  since we would not be choosing anything. Everything from your significant other to your job or career, everything was decided for you. The energy approaching this day was high. Everyone was so excited to see what they were going to be doing the rest of their lives, and to see who they would be spending it with. I was one of the only ones that was not excited for this I wanted to choose what I wanted to do, this was a very foreign concept to everyone. I hated all of the people who were the elders or the leaders in our government, and they hated people like me. My whole life they tried to suppress how different I was, they knew from the time I was little that I thought differently than everyone else. When I was little I would ask questions like "Why can't we choose our own career?" or 'Why can't the people or the public decide how things are?" They knew people like me had to be brainwashed more than the others into thinking the way everyone else did. One week before the Day of Choosing I got called to the head leader's office. I went in very nervous of what she would say to me. I opened the door and walked inside, and my internal panic set in. I always hated this room from the time I was little. 

I would always feel like the size of an ant on the palm of a hand. Tiny and can be crushed with not much force. The attacks in this situation were the words that the leader would tell me. She is as intimidating as it gets, she is an older stern woman and she went by the name of Mrs. Glasser. She was the lady that led everyone, she was head of the committee. Everyone reported to her. When I walked in and stood in front of her desk she said "Hello Astra, how are we this morning?" I replied "I am fine ma'am, what is the reason that I was summoned here?" I tried to make sure I was speaking super formally to try and impress her all that I could. She said "I am here to give you an advanced notice on what your career and significant other is. I was shocked. I replied "What do you mean ma'am I thought that those don't get revealed to us until later this week." She looked to her right and then her left, then she got up from her desk and came close to me and whispered to me. 

I was petrified. She said "I am doing this for your own good, because then you won't make a scene later on. Cause I know that resisting thinkers like yourself will want to make a scene and ruin everything. So I highly suggest that you keep a smile on your face and accept your fate like all have done before you." She backed away and I was still frozen in fear, she looked me dead in the eyes and said "Do I make myself clear?" I replied right away "Yes ma'am." She smiled her wicked fake smile, she said as she walked back to her desk "So your career will be an assistant on the board of education. The person you have been matched with is a boy named Jack, he is 20 years old. Only a year older than you." I tried to hide my look of disappointment, my only thought about the career end of it was that there was no way I could have that job. I knew exactly what was involved with being an assistant on the board of education. She was wanting me to take part in brainwashing the other younger generations into believing all the garbage they had told us. I knew she would do something like this on purpose, she knew that she needed to give me that job to keep me in line. She then said when I wasn't responding "I know you are probably not thrilled, you never were with anything this wonderful place had to offer you since you were little. Anyway I told you this, because we are doing things a little differently this year. We are telling the matches ahead of time so that you all can at least get used to each other for a while. Then the wedding for all of you will be the Day of Choosing." My only thought was that I had one more week to get out of this, the day was Thursday when she had told me this and I had until Friday of the next week. 

She went on "There will be set date times for you guys to get to know each other, don't be late and dress accordingly. Only skirts and dresses no pants allowed. Also if I get any news of you disobeying or causing others in your age group to misbehave then you will be put where the rest of them go that don't conform. For the rest of your days you will not be able to see your family or friends, total isolation and everyone will believe you are a dangerous lunatic who cannot be with the rest of society. I will also get your track of thinking in check. Once again do I make myself clear?" I looked down and said "Yes ma'am." She said "Good now go and get back to school and don't tell anyone about what we discussed here. Also the announcement for the matches will be at the end of the school day so act shocked. The first date will be at 7 pm tonight so don't be late." I said "Yes ma'am." I got out of there as fast as I could. Once I was on the other side of the door I could finally catch my breath, I felt so helpless, how could I get out of my fate?

Where would I even go? I walked back to my classroom depressed. The school day went by as usual, I had a few friends and it was so hard to not tell them what happened in the office cause I couldn't chance it getting out to anyone. Then the dreadful announcement came where each match got read off over the PA system. My friends were all so excited and I had to look excited too, even though on the inside I was screaming and begging for a way out. Only if I knew that my way out would be coming around the corner the next day. I looked across the room, and saw a guy who was also from my age group, we both looked at each other for a moment. Then we smiled and looked away, this was the start of what would get me out of my horrible reality. After school I had to get ready for the date at 7 pm, I picked out a skirt and sweater to wear that would be acceptable, but would still have my personal touch. Even though in my mind I wasn't dressing for the guy, I was dressing for myself. At around 6:50 I started to head to the restaurant where the date spot would be. I went into the restaurant and signed in so that my attendance could be accounted for. Once the staff saw my name they led me to the table where Jack was sitting. He was a decent looking guy, but definitely not my type. He had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. I went up to the table and introduced myself. "Hi I'm Astra, and you're Jack I'm assuming?" He said "Yes, and what are you wearing?" I told him "Oh well I mean it goes along with the dress or skirt guidelines doesn't matter what color or pattern it has to be." I was wearing a maroon sweater with a plaid skirt and black thigh high boots. He laughed and said "Well I mean it looks like a school uniform and not something a girl should be wearing on a date. I'll have to send you some images to what I want you to wear on future dates." 

I replied "And who said I was dressing for you?" He said "Are you sure you want to talk to me that way? I can make sure this encounter gets around to Mrs. Glasser. I know you have never really had the best relationship with her." I said "No, I'm sorry, I'm just nervous you know for the whole Day of Choosing thing." He replied and held my hand on the table "Don't be nervous you got paired with the best person here. Luckily the government placed you with one her favorites, maybe this was fate so that you can get out of your rebellious faze." The whole two hours I wanted to punch this guy in the face, but I restrained myself. The whole dinner all he wanted to talk about was our wedding and our future kids and what not. I didn't say much and just smiled and nodded along. When the date was finally over, and we were about to part ways he told me "Well it was nice getting to know my future wife, I'll make sure to send you outfit ideas for tomorrow's date." I nodded, and this guy had the audacity to try and kiss me, I was shocked I mean we literally met two hours ago. I pushed him away and said "Don't you think that we should save that for the wedding, it will be more special that way." Luckily he bought it, and said he would see me tomorrow. I ran away with tears starting to fog my vision. I quickly blinked them away so that no one who pasted by would see me crying. I could not believe this is the guy that I would have to spend the rest of my life with. I started to walk across the street, and I walked past the same guy that I had seen and made eye contact for a moment in the auditorium earlier that day. We both looked at each other again, we had the look on our face like we couldn't believe we ran into each other again. We kept walking in separate directions. When I got to the other side of the street my only thought was 'if only I would have gotten paired with him.'