A court of dreamers and survivors

Chapter 7. Walking dead

I had sensed the High lord's stare on me from time to time, during dinner. He would open his mouth to say something to me but then would shake his head and turn back to his mate. If I hadn't been nervous, I would have compared him to a goldfish at that moment. 

We were in one of the studies right now and I couldn't help but take a moment to awe at the number of books that were present- the comfort and soothing vibes it gave off.

"What is it High lord?" I asked presently.

With a sigh that did not make me feel any better, he said, "We were doing our usual check up on all the camps when we found out that some female had tried to escape Bron's camp. Turns out it was his daughter," he raised an eyebrow at me and I stiffened.

"I-I wanted to tell you but I, but I thought that it would mean that I would have had to go back due to political reasons and so. I am so grateful for all that you have provided me with, it's just that I-"

The High Lady cut me off. "We understand, you don't have to explain it to us," she said and her smile made me look away bringing memories of my mother, no I couldn't think about her or I would start crying my eyes out.

"According to the report we received today morning, she is dead." I looked up at Cassian to make sure I heard him correctly.

He continued, "She was found mauled by some wild animal near the camps. Bron believes that she must have tried to escape at the dead of the night and a wild beast gave her what she deserved. But as you now confirmed, his daughter is alive so any guesses who the other female might have been? Someone with the same hair color and build as you..."

No, please don't let it be her. I shook my head violently, taking a few steps backwards and slumped on an armchair. I go away for and this happens. Suddenly I found myself crushed into an embrace. I looked up to see that it was Gwyneth. Looking at her and remembering how strong she was, I took a breath and started. 

"Her name is- was- Cathrine. She was one of my friends. Her father died during the... war and with her mother, she fled to a remote place. Her father wasn't well renowned and so it made it easier for them to flee. Her mother had died soon later and I had found herself one day while passing the forest. I took her to my secret place and we became friends over the years. Close friends." 

I couldn't bring myself to say more as my eyes started getting watery. But it was enough. The adults simply nodded, giving me pitying looks that I was not able to bear. Guilt bore me down. Gwyn hugged me again- very tightly. This time I held her too.

"Your father assumed it to be you and ceased the searching. The other females of your camp are alright." The Shadowsinger said, the only comfort anyone could give me right now. At least the others were safe.

"You can stay here without worrying now Vita," The High Lady said and I just gave her a grim smile. 

All my energy was drained. I just wanted to be alone. So, I excused myself and went to my assigned room.

Sitting there, all I could think about was Catherine. She had been such a sweet girl, such an amazing friend. I had known her since I was 13. The other girls had come to know her too- though not as well as I had. She was shy, and attended our meeting scarcely. Usually, it was just me who met with her weekly. 

When I ran away, I didn't think that I might have worried her into coming out of hiding. I had made my plan to run away so fast- not planning to say proper goodbyes to her. I was walking dead because of her. This freedom never had tasted so bitter until now.

She was dead and it was my fault. It was my fault. It was my fault. That is all that played on repeat in my head as silent tears ran down my cheeks and the sun came up- no longer looking hopeful. 

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