Ruined

***7**

"Now Mauve you need to focus, Integration is like the reverse of Differentiation"

Evan was trying to teach me but sincerely I was in a different place. A very far place. In simple words I was tired and for no reason I just felt like sleeping my eyes off. After the fight or should I say 'flirt situation' yesterday Moira, Martina and I kept talking about it. I went home thinking about how hilarious it was. I went to bed wondering if I would stop thinking about it.

But coming to school this morning and seeing Evan's face made me remember that he did not look okay after everything. Me being me pushed it to the back of my mind and decided to keep living life. I'm still trying to delete his face from my mind but that expression is stuck on my brain. So now I am doing more than one thing, which I am not good at and is making me work overdrive.

Okay now I see why I'm feeling sleepy. The list if things I'm doing are

trying to stay awake,

wondering if Evan's beige brown lips is really beige brown lips balm or lip stick,

processing the fact that differentiation is the inverse of integration,

angry that I got a C-minus on my maths test which by the way is the reason Evan is teaching me this, again,

and finally, thinking if I took of my hoodie it would be comfy enough to use as a head rest.

"Evan you don't get it. I want to sleep. S. L. E. E. P . Sleep"

"You like to spell things, don't you?"

"Yeah, especially when I am trying to emphasize on something, and in this case it's sleep" I said tapping his forehead.

"Why are you tapping my head. Arghhhhhh Mauve, you are making me drift off. Let's help you learn this thing"

I was sure I was behaving tipsy. You know, heavy eyelids, inability to form a sentence, wanting to just sleep. I know why. I was high on sleep. Yeah sleep drunk

Placing my head on the table and covering my eyes with my hands I said

"But I don't want to learn"

"Mauve"

"Mauve doesn't want to learn"

" You got a C-minus on your math test and you expect me to leave you. No way young woman. Now get up"

"Young woman, huh?" I raised an eyebrow at him

"Yes, young woman" he said making emphasis on the young woman "And by the power bestowed on me, as your tutor, I command you to learn." He was acting like those stuck up British officials in movies.

"Haha, you're so funny". Furrowing my eyebrows I said "Random question, have you been teaching me as a tutor "

A pause.
"No" sigh "More like a friend. And that explains why I felt that way yesterday" He looked away.

"What way?" Is asked him quietly.
He faced me fully now "I don't know. More like I don't want you flirting with him or anyone for that matter"

I was stunned and did not know what to do. I just stared at his face and the non medicated glasses he said he took from Adam that was now slipping from his nose. I wanted to push it up but he did not that before I could.

"Seriously?" I asked not it an are-kidding-me kind of way but more like a do-you-really-mean-what-you-said kind of way

"Yes" he reached for my hand "Yes, seriously. Now do you want to sleep or study"

My eyes widened "You're gonna let me sleep"

"Obviously you would pick sleep. It's written all over you"

"Oh so it's written all over me," I gestured the all over me "but you wanted to force that into my head"

"I thought you might, you know, hold on"

I wanted to say something but he cut me off "Now go to sleep. You could sleep till the bell rings. I'll be here"

"Thanks" I placed my hand on his knee "Thank you"

I yawned, came closer to him then laid my head in a way that I was facing his chest. I closed my eyes to sleep then felt something warm cover my entire head and face. Pushing the fabric away I saw a smiling Evan. He had given me his hoodie. Before I drifted off to sleep I caught a glimpse of the lightning bolt pendant resting on his shirt as he reclined on the chair.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Grrrrng....
I was startled from my sleep by that damned bell. Why do bells have to be so serious about being on time. Sitting up I faced a still sleeping Evan. The bell stirred him up a little but he was still sleeping. His face was just there like as though his face was a movie that was paused as he closed his eyes. For those of you who want to know whether his face looked cute or not.

*long dramatical pause*

He didn't look cute.

*Longer dramatic pause*

But he definitely was adorable. Na I'm just kidding. He was just looking like Evan sleeping.

Putting my fingers through my messed up hair I shook him.

"Come on Evan, wake up"

"Huh" He got up comically staring around with wide eyes "what time is it?"

Laughing I said "It's break time. Lunch?"

"Yeah lunch. Let go get ours"

I gathered my notes and let Evan have his. He was still trying to wake up fully and was stretching. When I turned around to hand him his hoodie I caught him staring. At me.

"What" I asked sounding defensive

"Nothing" A smile "Do you want to keep the hoodie?"
Did I want to keep it. I made a show of checking it out, sniffing it, turning it around like some routine inspection. No parent was gonna ask me where I got it from and it was from him so I said

"Yes I'll keep it. Thank you" I smiled back at him.

"Okay let's go get lunch" He said standing up. I wanted to overthink anything thinkable about why he was staring at me. I looked at my clothes just to be sure. Like why was he staring....

Shrugging on my backpack I headed for the door and waved the librarian bye. We walked all the way to the cafeteria without saying a word to each other. And let me tell you something it was awkward. I wanted to say something but had nothing to say and hated myself the more as I took more and more steps without saying anything. Immediately I got to the cafeteria I searched around for my friends but did not see that particular pairof glasses or any porcelain bread roll.

Nurses office