Depressions Demon

Part 6 - Final

Don't be deserved by innocents. Anything can change. One second, it's a small baby, the next it's a vicious monster again. No one changes, they just become good at hiding their flaws. It made my draw blood again, not a needle this time. No, it was a stab, so powerful, I went numb. I took a glimpse at the eyes. I was mortified, they're black. All black. It was reflecting my soul. My emotions. But why? Why did it shrink? Why did it hurt more? I need an explanation.

My mind grew busy again. Trying to ignore the pain, all the explanations I was trying to think of it was overwhelming me. I tried to concentrate on something, but the pain, the torture of slowly dying, do I want to die? I hate when that happens. You feel nothi8ng, you think it's fine, you can handle 'nothing'. But then, all at once, it comes flooding back. Like a broken damn, you can't stop it from collapsing, you can't stop the water breaking it more. You can't stop it.

It all makes sense now, the puzzle was complete, that's why it became a blood sucking baby. It was trying to stop it, but it couldn't. She was here, she came back. She showed me love through her looks.

"Morning!" she sang warmly.

That voice. It was so soothing. Calming. She lightly shook me. Her blue peals showing my love. My mum. She was my world. I loved her and only her. But she doesn't look scared, why. This demon, sucking my blood. I'm bleeding, so much. Does she not care. No, she always does, she cares for me, I care for her. Its how I live my life now. Hide the pain from her but show her my love. That's how it works right? That's how I'm going to live my life. Its hard but it works. The pain, fear I feel, depression, it all goes away, it shrinks, makes it easier to manage, hide. She will never know. Never! Or she'll look at me differently. She would be ashamed. She wouldn't love me. She would be another person telling me to kill myself, for lying to her. Lying to mother. She would hate me too. At least we' have something in common.

"Darling, it's time to wake up," she hummed, like a bird singing in my ear. So, loving and calm.

I couldn't speak.

"I'm awake," I tried to tell her. I could hear her, but I couldn't move, speak. I couldn't tell her 'I love you.' Why?

After many seconds, and thought, I came to my answer: I'm asleep. She can't see, hear me, because I'm not awake. It was all a nightmare. She does care. She does love me. But I can't wake up. I've tried, so hard. I just want to hug her. Tell her I'm awake. That I can hear her. Show her I love her back. I can't. It's because I don't want to wake up. The cons outweigh the pros. Waking up to see her, show her my love, or wake up and have to face them, the people who torment me, daily. I want to see her, but my need to stay asleep, and not wake up is so high. I deserve a break. Right? Or am I being selfish, thinking of myself before others?

I want to do it. So bad. I want o commit. End the torture, the torment they give me. She tries, mum, she works so hard for me, but they don't know, they don't know anything. But them not knowing, is what makes it easier for them to break me. I can't do it. I have to stay...

"Come on, it's time for school."

...for her.

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Hope you enjoyed reading this. It is by no mean how I feel, I just have a dark imagination. please give me suggestions to a title. I will edit all the parts soon.