Wake up when never happens

Dear Sweet Boy

Dear sweet boy, 

          I want to tell you I love you one day. I want to tell you I would move mountains for you. I want to tell you I would fight the monsters in your dreams. I want to light up the darkness of your past. I want to pave the path of your future with gold. I want to build something with you. I want to hold you. I want you...But Sweet Boy...I'm scared... what if I'm not strong enough. What if I'm not stable enough for what we build and it falls? What if I can't defeat the monsters in your dreams? What if my light falters and the darkness consumes us both? What if the path I paved was fools gold? What if I can't keep you? What if I'm too much? What if I am so much of myself that you get overwhelmed? Even if I try to hold back the tidal wave that is me, what if I drown you? I don't want to hurt you sweet boy. I don't want to be the reason your sweetness turns sour. I don't want to be the guillotine that cuts your neck when you stuck it out for me. I don't want to lose you. As a lover, as a first, as a friend. I don't want you to live without me but I need to know you could make it on your own. Could you slay your own demons? Could you secure your own flame? Could you pave your path with wealth? Could you build your own foundation? Could you hold yourself up? I worry about you sweet boy. I really do care about you sweet boy. I'm sorry sweet boy...if anything I do should hurt you...Please don't bleed out. Please patch yourself up. Please continue to heal. Please Please Please be ok sweet boy. Because you are so so good and so so bright and so so capable and so so strong and so so caring and so so kind and so so wonderful. Even without me. Please be what you are. You sweet Sweet Boy <3