Desert king (Male!readerxBNHA)

Day one: tests n trials

An alarm. Loud, obnoxious. Thats the first sound our gritty grainy protagonist hears. "Ugh, shut the fuck up!" He slashes the clock in half, then gets out of bed. When he checks his phone he sees a text from Nejire.
Neji-chan: Alabasta! First day! Excited?Mr. Sandman: No, not really. Waking up is annoying as fuck.
Neji-chan: Ahaha, you're so funny! 😆
Mr. Sandman: Your face behind the screen rn: 🗿
Neji-chan: Hurry up, you got about ten minutes before class starts!
Mr. Sandman: Ah shit you right, see ya there Nejire.
Neji-chan: Yeah cya Croccy!

Then he put away his phone, and walked out of the house, having his UA uniform on with his coat. He sped through the streets, then started flying using his quirk. Pretty soon UA high was in his line of sight, and he landed right outside the gate and walked in. He made his way through the halls, until he came to a super massive door. "The fuck is it so big for?" He opened it and saw several familiar faces. From accountant robot guy to Katsuki. "Get your feet off of the desk! It's disrespectful to our upperclassmen!" He yelled at Bakugo. "Uh, croc, can you move?" Alabasta heard a voice from behind him. He turned around to see none other than his favorite greenette. "Ah, my bad Izuku." He said, then moved. "Ah! The boy thats plain looking with curly hair!" A brown haired girl said. She walked up. "Thanks for saving me during the exams!" She said to Izuku. "Ah! It was nothing!" He said. Croc then smiled while looking at him. "Croc don't you dare." Izuku said while glaring. "I wasn't gonna!" Crocodile retaliated. "You were thinking it!" Izuku said. "Whatever man." Croc said, then he sensed someone. He sat down immediately after sensing this man, and he kicked back waiting. Then the mystery man spoke. "If you came here to make friends then leave." He said, drinking from an apple sauce pouch. "It took you all eight seconds to quiet down, I hope you realize time is valuable. Do better." Croc studied this man, then reached for a cigar from his coat. "I'm your homeroom teacher, Shota Aizawa. It may seem sudden but put these on then head outside." He said, holding up a gym uniform. Croc put the cigar in his mouth and walked off to the locker room, where he started changing into the gym outfit. "Bro, why do you have a cigar?" A redhead said. "He has a what?" A blonde with a black lightning bolt in his hair asked. "A cigar?" A guy with balls on his head looked confused. "Because I can." Croc responded bluntly. He then walked out, finished changing. Once everyone was outside, the teacher who looked way too homeless for one man then started speaking. "We're gonna be testing your quirks with the physical exams you weren't allowed to use quirks in. Bakugo, what was your farthest distance in the softball throw?" He asked the ash blonde. "About 67 meters." The bombshell responded. "Alright now throw this using your quirk." He said, throwing a ball to Bakugo. "Don't hold back kat." Croc said to him. "Do I ever?" He coolly responded. He reared his arm back, breathing. Then with his enhanced explosion, aptly renamed warhead due to the massive boost in power, he threw the ball. "DIE!" He yelled, using his quirk to throw the ball at ungodly speeds. Aizawas eyes widened. He showed them the device, and it read 1.2 kilometers. "What the hell?!" The electric blonde named Kaminari yelled out. "This looks fun!" A pink haired girl yelled out, excited. "Fun is it? How about this, the last place overall will be expelled." Aizawa said. "What? We just got here, thats not fair!" The brunette, whos name was Ochaco Uraraka complained. "Not fair?" Aizawa and Crocodile said at the same time. "I'll let him have this one." Aizawa said. "You think thats not fair? Well Uraraka?" Croc asked, sand flaring around him. "I'll tell you whats not fair. The ones that can't be saved, the ones that live with knowing their loved one is dead thanks to another human being. Fires, natural disasters. Theres so much more in life thats unfair. This is nothing, just don't get last place. Cause clearly whoever does isn't worthy of being here." Everyones eyes widened at this bold statement. "Yeah? Well what if you get last place?!" Kaminari yelled, clearly outraged at what had been said. "I won't." Croc said bluntly. Then Aizawa sighed and reeled their attention back to him. "Okay, lets start with the 50 meter dash." He said tiredly. "Yes sir!" A few yelled out. First was Tenya Iida vs Tsuyu Asui, and unsurprisingly, Iida won. Next was Bakugo Vs Crocodile Vs Midoriya. "Prepare to eat my literal dust, Kat and Izu." Alabasta said confidently. "Yeah yeah, tell that to the finish line you'll get to after me." The bob-omb retaliated. "Kacchan that shit don't even make no fuckin-" then the robot signaled the start and they all sped to the other side, Katsuki propelling himself, Izuku blasting off using his quirk at five percent in his legs, while Alabasta turned into sand, dematerializing and reappearing at the other side. "Alabasta Crocodile: 1.5 seconds. Katsuki Bakugo: 2.75 seconds. Izuku Midoriya: 3.12 seconds." And Croc smirked, walking back to the crowd to let others finish the dash. Next was grip strength, which some eight armed guy got 540 kg on. Izuku tried using his quirk, focusing to get 10 percent and ending up with 500 kg. Alabasta looked at those two, sighed, and used sand to squeeze the grip meter with the force of a hydraulic press. Problem was, it may have been overkill, cause the meter broke. "My bad!" He yelled out to Aizawa, who simply put his face in his palm. For the standing long jump, our three main boys all cleared easily. Next, side steps, the grape lookin guy was goin crazy, while Bakugo and Izuku tried to outdo eachother, and Alabasta just went normally cause he didn't feel like trying. Next was ball throw, in which Uraraka got infinity. Izuku went after her, and was about to throw the ball when Aizawa stopped him. "At the exam, you incapacitated yourself. How do I know you won't do this again? A glass cannon is no good." He said. Then all of a sudden Izuku sighed, seemingly pissed off. "Because I been usin my goddamn quirk the whole exam, fuck you talkin bout incapacitated myself?! I only fucked myself up then because Uraraka was in danger! Now can I finish this damn throw?" And everyones eyes widened. "Izuku, your Dekuquans showin." Alabasta joked. "Shut up, before I say your full name you bitch ass hoe." Izuku was really pissed. Our raven sandman shrunk back into the crowd. The greenete then grabbed a ball, used 10 percent, and send the ball god knows where, forming massive shockwaves. Aizawa showed them the results, 1.5 kilometers. Next it was Crocodiles turn. "Ugh, such a drag.." He planned on holding back. Then suddenly Izuku walked over, showing some pictures on his phone, of him and Nejire at the park after them having gotten Katsudon. "If you hold back, then Katsuki, my mom, and Auntie Mitsuki might suddenly get these." He threatened. Alabastas eyes widened, and he turned around with determination in his eye. "Fuck you Izuku. Bitch ass." He pulled his arm back then thought. He turned around. "Y'all hold onto somethin!" He said, then turning back around and finally pulling his arm back all the way. Sand flowed everywhere, and his arm turned into a massive sand arm. He charged several Sables: Pesado balls in the palm, and finally threw the ball, causing several shockwaves, as strong as Izukus and Katsukis. The sables pesado surrouding the ball exploded after about a kilometer and a half, making huge explosions that could be seen in the distance. "Holy shit.." Aizawa accidentally said out loud. Everyone looked and him and he showed the results. 3.2 kilometers. "What kinda monster is he?" Kaminari said. And everyone was wondering the exact same thing. They finished other tests and Aizawa showed the results. An invisible girl was in last place, and everyone looked around for her to feel bad for her. "Also, I lied about the expulsion." Aizawa said. "HUHH?!" Everyone freaked out. Except for three. Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, and Crocodile. Croc placed a cigar in his mouth, walked over to Todoroki, and nodded. The half hot-half cold bit sighed and lit it. Then Croc took a puff and walked upward. "It was an obvious logical ruse." He said. "Honestly I thought you all knew!" Momo said. Aizawa handed out a syllabus, saying to read it before tomorrow, then they all went inside to get changed.
Time skip————————- (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ
Midoriya went to the train with Uraraka and Iida, Bakugo went to the gym for his usual routine, meanwhile, with Alabasta however...
"For the last time Mirio, our quirks are two different things! You pass through objects, objects pass through me!" Croc yelled. "But I'm just saying! If you and I did use our quirks to pass through eachother!" The blonde explained himself. "Then you'd pass through him." Tamaki said. "Yeah! What My chemical foodie said!" Nejire laughed at the nickname, while Tamaki looked at Alabasta with disdain. "I prefer green day in all honesty." He joked back. "Whatever you say Fieri and Flames." Crocodile laughed. "Don't think we don't know you took Nejire to "flavortown" after we got Katsudon. Tamaki said, making Nejire choke on her juice. "How the fuck do you know tha- nevermind don't answer." Nejire was bright red, Mirio was laughing, then a few second years approached them. "Excuse me, big three? We are huge fans, can we get autographs?" One asked,!They then saw Crocodile. "Whoa, thats the really strong guy, he's a first year but he's clearly the only real candidate to make three into four." Another said. "Can we get your autograph too Sir Crocodile?" A third asked. "Sure kid." And after having signed autographs, taken selfies, and Nejire rejecting one that got too bold, they sighed. "Fame must suck eh?" Croc said. Nejire sat on his lap, leaning into him. "Yeah, especially when guys ask me out all the time.." Then Mirio had a thought. "What are you two anyways? Are you together?" And then the Sorta-couples eyes widened. "We are dating right Alabasta?" Nejire asked. "Only if you wanna be." Croc responded with a smile. "Then I guess we are. I'm your girlfriend." She said smiling brightly. "You guys move so fast you'd think your quirks let you move at supersonic speeds." Croc then winced. "No. Don't fuckin say it." Tamaki said, aghast. "My quirk makes me high hypersonic, maybe even massively in the future." Croc said. "God fucking DAMMIT!" Tamaki yelled out. "Jeez, why so overpowered?" Mirio asked. "Because. Sand." Crocodile responded. "Ugh, anyways, we should probably start on our ways home." Tamaki recommended. Nejire took Alabastas hand and started dragging him to her house, while Mirio and Tamaki started walking home, cause they lived on the same street. Alabasta finally picked Nejire up and flew her home, he kissed her forehead then she pulled him into a full kiss, and finally he made his way home, flying at max speed before going in through his window and dropping on his bed. He grabbed a cigar and lit it, taking a long puff as he leaned back, relaxed and watched YouTube the rest of the day on his tv.

Jeez that was 1938 words. Anyways, daddy made your favorite, content. Eat it up y'all. I'd say I'll try to make more often, and the summer will help with that, but dont expect these almost multi thousand chapters every day. Anyways as per usual I'll see y'all next time, stay shady, shad out.