I'm out of my head - hs AU

14

'Don't let him slip away' thought Steve, quoting what Sarah had said before retiring to her bed. He's dying, he's already slipping away! And I can't do anything about it.

Steve wanted nothing more than to text Tony and apologize for being nosy and pushy. It was obvious Tony didn't want to talk about it and yet Steve dug into his pocket to glance at that device. Meddlesome Steve in the house.

The best way to forget the actions of a given day was to fall asleep, so Steve went to the bathroom, took a shower, brushed his teeth and borrowed some of his mother's night lotion. His skin felt dry.

After doing all that he cuddled into his sheet, feeling a bit better as he was enveloped in warmth. But thoughts always race as you try to fall asleep. The one bad thing about sleeping. Steve imagined Tony by his side. He imagined feeling the weight of him and being held by him...

Maybe going to bed wasn't a good idea after all.

A few days pass and Steve and Tony don't talk. All the contact they got was through looks and not many were spared. Steve convinced himself that it had to do with the little time Tony might've had left, and that he'd want to spend the rest of his days with his actual friends.

He sat with Bucky and Sam on a bench in the hallway, talking about... actually... what were they talking about? Steve had to remind himself to listen and the noise of the world zoomed in again, almost hitting him like bomb. He was even startled.

"How do you even dress like a slut?" Asked Sam, completely dumbfounded.

"Who cares?? Anything Scott Lang tells you is false... or a compliment," answered Bucky. He sounded like he thought hard about the last one, but he wasn't wrong. Scott was nice and may even seem gullible but incredibly smart. After all; nice does not equal stupidity.

People call him Ant-Man because he has like seven ant farms. Disgusting. What if they all escape? You'll be invaded by them.

But who was Steve to judge, we've all got our own interests.

"A compliment? He's never said anything nice about me!" Sam complained thus making Bucky scoff.

"Because you're an ass."

"I'll take that as a compliment because my ass is phenomenal." Sam crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling, nonchalantly.

"Whatever." Bucky paused for a moment and looked down at Steve, who sat positioned between them on the bench, clearly in his own world. "At least you're present."

Steve really woke up at the sound of his name and clapped back. "Maybe I just am funnier and cooler. You bore me," he joked while sounding dead serious.

Steve had all morning thought about Tony which lead to him recalling how he came out to his mom. She seemed to have had her suspicions already but that's not the same as hearing it, and he suspected that Sam and Bucky had assumed certain things and wondered if he should come out to them, too.

What if they don't want to be friends anymore? Maybe they'll think I'm in love with either of them? What if they'll get uncomfortable...

Now sure, they hung out with Clint Barton sometimes and he was openly bisexual but they weren't as close as they were with Steve. They didn't have to worry about things becoming awkward anyway.

And was this really a great time? On a bench? In school? Although there's never a good time for anything, and they'd appreciate it if Steve were to tell them sooner rather than later.

Now or never. This is the last time to get it right, this is the last chance to make it our night— enough with the High School Musical songs.