unordinary | BUCKY BARNES

chapter seven

The morning after your trampoline outing, Steve and Nat returned at around 6am that morning from their investigation at the government laboratory that HYDRA agents had invaded. Everyone had gathered in the conference room to discuss how to go forward. Steve and Natasha had explained how they found no physical evidence of what they planned to do with the chemicals that had been stolen, but rather where they had been taken.

Steve said that their helicopter was able to be tracked until it landed somewhere in the suburbs of London, and they suspect that they have a HYDRA lab in central London but disguised as a townhouse. The Avengers planned to split up into groups and scout the area looking for signs of HYDRA while undercover.

"Natasha and I will start at the East end of the city and work our way into the centre. Same with Steve and Wanda but you guys start from the North end." Tony explained, pin pointing on a digital map of where you were supposed to be.

There was circled areas of where suspected HYDRA agents had been spotted which Tony was pointing at, suggesting they made sure to check those spots out.

"Cat and Barnes-" Tony began.

"Mhm I don't think that's such a good idea Stark-" Bucky began, reluctant to be your mission partner in the time of this operation.

"Shut it, Barnes- You'll be fine." You replied, nodding towards Tony to begin again.

In truth you were actually sort of excited to work with Bucky in the coming days. The team had always managed to separate you during missions due to your track record, but Tony must not have took that into consideration this time.

"If you find any of the serum, you take it without opening any seals and dear god, don't inject yourself with it because that's just bloody stupid." Everyone nodded, but chuckled at Tony's warning.

"Once back at the compound, Bruce will examine the serum and then discard of it. If you can find any recipes for the serum, take them too. Everything must be destroyed."

"It's not a bakery, Tony- They're not called recipes." Steve interjected, making everyone laugh slightly

"I don't give a shit." Tony began again. "Anyways Nat and I will leave later tonight, the rest of you will follow next week. I'll have my phone on me at all times under a different number so I cannot get tracked by HYDRA, and I've already sent out my new number to anyone to contact me if necessary."

—

"The mission sounds interesting, huh?" You tried to make small talk but you weren't exactly the best at it yet.

"Mmh, I guess." Bucky responded, his head in a book.

Bucky had found himself spending more time around you recently, he was comfortable in your company which was a massive change from a few weeks ago. His nightmares were continuously getting worse and he found that he was in a better mental state of someone he didnt mind to be around. Steve was busy very often due to being Captain America or whatever, but you were around a lot, and Bucky was always somewhere nearby.

"How are you doing?" You asked again, if he was here you thought that you may as well talk.

"I've been better." Bucky replied, still not looking up from his book.

You sensed he didn't really want to talk, and whatever was going on he obviously didn't want to talk about it, not with you anyways. You noticed a huge change in his mood since the day before at the trampoline park, yesterday he had been talking and laughing with you but today it was as if something had spooked him or something. Even though you weren't enemies anymore, you still weren't close friends, or even friends for that matter- You weren't entirely sure where you stood with him lately.

You turned on the TV and noticed when you did, Bucky put down his book and started to watch with you.

"Is this the one with Gandalf?" He asked.

"How do you know who Gandalf is?" You laughed.

"I read the book when it was first released." He smirked.

You both sat in silence watching Lord of The Rings, Bucky laughed sometimes at comedic scenes, and you couldn't help but glance over to see if there had been a change in his mood.

Bucky liked fantasy movies, any movies really. He liked the future... Well the present- He couldn't wrap his head around this time thing. Bucky enjoyed the silence, but he also enjoyed your company. Last night he had barley gotten any good sleep, the nightmares just consumed him. Last nights nightmare had been especially bad, he was standing with a gun pointing towards Steve's head, he shot him without thinking twice and turned to face you, who he shot also. The screams he heard in his head were deafening. Before it had always been Steve who he murdered in his nightmares, but lately he had been seeing more and more of you inside his head. He liked being around you because it proved you were real, it proved that someone could go from hating him to voluntarily spending time with you.

People who knew Bucky knew him for his past, for being the Winter Soldier. Even people on the team were still wary of him. Steve had always stood up for him and it had just hit different when you had jumped in to speak at that meeting, although he didn't show it- it really meant a lot to him.

Bucky had never really even had a real girlfriend since getting his memory back, sure he played a good game of chatting them up, had a few one night stands, and even had a thing going with a girl for a few weeks- but once he felt comfortable enough to tell them about his past, it scared them off. Damn it was soo much easier in the 1940s when he could just take a girl for a milkshake and they'd be all over him.

The 1940s was so much easier, he wasn't a murderer back then.

The movie ended, and you turned it off.

"Hey Barnes do you wanna watch-"

You were cut off by the sound of soft snoring, it made you giggle to yourself a bit, but you smiled at the fact Bucky had been willing enough to let himself fall asleep in your company.

Instead of turning on another movie, because you didn't want to wake him up, you picked up the book Bucky was reading and began to read it yourself.

"The fault in our stars?" You chuckled, Barnes was a sad romance guy?

He surprised you more and more everyday.

Time passed slowly, you read 8 chapters of the book you had borrowed from Bucky, and he still slept, you noticed he was a restless sleeper, talking a lot, and didn't stay still for very long. What you expected less was when he jolted awake, with sweat running down his face.

You moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder for reassurance.

"It's okay..." You began. You understood what he was going through, you guessed past trauma was causing nightmares which you had experienced the exact same thing.

Natasha had helped you through the tough times when you would wake up in tears, and now you had the chance to help someone else through it.

"I... killed him." He panted, holding back the tears. You could tell this was difficult.

It hurt to see him like this, shaking and difficulty breathing.

"It was just a dream, it's okay. Everything will be okay."

You pulled him into a hug, which he accepted and held him there until his breathing became steady again. You gently rubbed his back, and he clutched onto you.

He was trying to hide it, but he was crying into your shoulder.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You asked softly.

"Everything... Everything I've done... Everyone I killed... I see over and over again in my head." Bucky sobbed, "It doesn't... It doesn't go away."

You didn't say anything, you just let him get his emotions out. Bucky didn't know why you were letting him, but he was too much of a mess to make a big deal about it, you were there when he needed someone, when he needed a shoulder to cry on... Literally.

"Everything is going to be okay." You whispered, "I promise."