Falling By Chance

Chapter - 32

“I'm here because I love you.”

My world stops spinning around for a whole damn minute. He... loves me?

I break out of it when Matt nudges me, his eyes asking if I'm alright. I nod at him and give him a bright smile. I look at Jake and see him glaring at Matt with a murderous expression. What's wrong with him?

“Why now? So suddenly?” I ask him, not falling for his bullshit and why should I? He pushed me away and he left me in pieces. It's not like me to just jump into his arms ecstatic just because he confessed. I'm still recovering from wounds he inflicted on me by his rejection and pushing me away like I don't matter to him at all. Like I was trash. I stiffen myself to shield myself, my heart, from his next words.

“The last few weeks has been a complete torture without you. When I thought I lost you, I realised that I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I'm scared of commitments because they never worked out for me. I thought that I was trying to save both of us from the heartache, but I failed. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.” His pleading eyes stare right at me giving me the full impact of his apology.

But that doesn't excuse him for what he did. I still can't get it out of my head.

“Okay. I forgive you.” I say. His face immediately lights up and Matt's head snaps to me so fast that I think he must've gotten whiplash from it. Jake comes forward trying to hug me but I stop him placing my hand on his chest. Sparks instantly shoot through my whole arm travelling down, my body instantly growing warm at his close proximity. Damn him! He still has the same effect on me.

I ignore those feelings. I need to get this straight first.

“I said I forgive you, I never said that you can come back into my life just like that. Are you ready to give our relationship a chance?” I say to him in a strong, determined voice. Forgive but never forget.

“No, but, Roxy... I mean... Can we please talk somewhere else? In private? Please?” He asks looking at Matt. No. He said no. Then why is he here? Calm down Roxy. Give him a chance to explain.

“No. Say what you want here.” I ask him.

He looks at me blankly schooling his hurt expression then nods. “I can't give our relationship a chance due to some reasons. Please understand that.”

I sigh. Be the bigger person, Roxy, even if you're only 5'5''. Shut up. Not the time to be joking inner voice.

Ignoring my stupid inner self I walk over to him, placing my hand gently on his cheek, looking into his eyes, “Then please tell me your reasons.  Help me understand. I will listen. You have to trust me, Jake.” I reply to him softly, still willing to help him fight his battle. I will never leave him high and dry. If he needs me, I'll he there in an instant. But that's the thing. He should feel the need for me.

I look up at him expectantly but all in vain.

He shakes his head in a no. He doesn't want to trust me. Ouch. I take a step back removing my hand from his face.

“Then why are you here, Jake?” I ask him feeling... Lost. I could feel the darkness creeping inside my heart once again.

“You left, Roxy. You left me there. My own house began to haunt me because you weren't there. I couldn't stay there because everywhere I looked, I saw you. Please baby, I'm sorry. I beg you. I want you back. I can't live without you.” He is blaming me for leaving.

My anger flares up at his words. “Oh no, don't you dare put the blame on me. Jacob Valtor. You are the one who pushed me away. I tried staying, I even begged you to think it through, I cried and begged and pleaded. I was ready to help you fight your demons that were holding you back. So don't you dare put this on me. I didn't leave you. You made me. You're the one who pushed me away. You had the chance to stop me, but you didn't.”