Amore #3: Already Lost In Time

ALIT 8

ALIT 8
we are what?!

EVERYTHING was a breath of fresh air. A new start for me. It feels safe here. I felt safe here...

I smiled widely, still lurking around my new school. Maaga naman ako, e, kaya marami pa akong oras para libutin ang buong lugar. Kaso baka sa sobrang lawak ng school, mauubusan na ako ng oras na magliwaliw.

I also wanted to have a companion if I will lurk around this school.

Will someone open their arms for me? Will someone befriend me? Will they accept me for what I am and for what I have?

I sighed inwardly, removing those negative queries circling in my head. I should be in between. I should be neutral when it comes to those things.

Hindi dapat ako mangamba kung magugustuhan ba nila ako o hindi. Kung ayaw nila, wala namang namimilit. And I don't also want to stay with fake and plastic people. Magiging mabaho lang ako kung sasama ako sa mga basurang katulad nila.

I breathed for some air and somehow, it relaxes me.

I hope that this new environment will give me peace. Maybe, this is the start where I should build up my confidence.

Dapat hindi na ako maapi. Dapat wala nang mang-bully sa 'kin dahil wala na rito ang kapatid ko. I only have myself now and I should protect myself at all cost.

Sa sobrang okupado ng isip ko, hindi ko namalayang may nabangga na pala akong babaeng ilang sentimetro lang ang tangkad sa akin.

She has this porcelain skin. Her hair was so straight and jet black, it freely flows down her waist. She also has a pink, cute and fluffy headband.

"Oh my gosh!" Napasigaw ang mga bata na nakatambay sa hallway.

Maging ako ay nanlaki ang mata nang makita ang babaeng nabangga ko. Ah, patay!

The girl almost fell on the floor and I was so ready to caught her with my arms but her reflexes was way too fast than mine. She immediately pulled herself altogether and stand up straight.

The girl looked over her shoulder and glance at me. Galit na mukha ang ibinungad niya sa akin. Magkasiabot ang kilay niya at kunot na kunot ang noo. She even grinned after looking at me from head to toe.

"I'm sorry—"

"I don't need your sorry," she rolled her eyes and disgustingly stared at me.

My forehead creases. Inaamin ko namang kasalanan ko iyon dahil nabangga ko siya pero bakit ayaw niya ng sorry ko? Ano ba'ng gusto niyang mangyari?

"Pero bakit ayaw mo ng sorry ko?" I uttered in a low tone, still staring at her raging and chinky eyes.

Alam kong galit siya pero ipinalaki ako ng tama ng nanay ko. Maayos na ang pagsabi ko sa kaniya ng patawad pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw niya iyong tanggapin.

Then what should I do to compensate what I've done?

She crossed her arms and coldy fixed her gaze at me, "You don't get it, huh?"

Oo nga naman, hindi ko talaga siya maintindihan. Is this another scene of myself being bullied again?

Hindi ako nagsalita at pinakatitigan lang siyang mabuti. Kaya nga umalis ako sa dati kong skwelahan kasi ayoko ng gulo, 'tapos pati ba naman dito ay hahabulin pa rin ako ng gulo?

I'm tired of all this sh— I sighed. Bawal nga pala akong magmura kahit na sa isipan man lang.

Kinunotan ako ng noo ng babae, tila naiinis dahil hindi ko siya nasagot. May galit at pagbabanta na niya akong tinitigan.