Peter's Flame

Part 33

But all I could hear was the thundering of my heart.

I walked through the woods as usual, scanning the area before putting my fingers into my mouth and whistling.

Shadow appeared moments later with a sick grin on his face.

"Well hello good madam! I just happen to be passing by. Now tell me, what is a charming woman like yourself walking through these woods alone?"

I chuckled at his silliness.

He always managed to make me laugh by showing off manners that remind me of classy people back in the 1600s in the movies.

"Well sadly, I have been assigned the task of patrolling the island. Since you have been a kind gentleman so far, would you care to join me on this most noble quest?"

He laughed, "Of course madam! I'll pack my trousers and we'll be all set."

We both burst out laughing into the cold night and I couldn't help but clutch my stomach as it twisted and turned with every painful laugh erupting from my lips.

We did my patrol together and I smiled as we talked.

He was reserved, like he had been waiting the whole night to finally talk with me.

We talked about everything and anything, not having any silences throughout the night.

"How are you holding up," he asked, his voice a soft whisper in the wind.

"How do you think," I replied, not knowing how to respond to a question that you've been asking yourself for weeks.

He hummed, questioning himself instead of me, giving me time to think and clear my mind.

"You've been stressed all night and you continue to space out and then snap back like nothing has happened. So the real question I should be asking you is, what's on your mind, Alina?"

I sighed, knowing that he was right.

"Am I allowed... to rant out all the things in my mind? Is that okay with you so that you understand?"

"Of course, Alina. I'm here all night and whenever you need me."

I nodded and took a deep breath before starting.

"I worried about Hook because I know absolutely nothing about him. I don't know how to explain to Pan that I care for him and the others and that I consider this," I gestured to the trees surrounding us, "as my home. I still don't know if some of the lost boys have accepted me and I don't know how to react. I don't know why Emma and the others came here but I think that they are family of a sort to Henry. I don't know whether to tell him or not. I really badly want to show everyone that I have powers or abilities or whatever it is I have, but I think that I should wait until I'm trusted. I'm having troubles with nightmares and my anxiety and my paranoia is getting worse by the second. Now, in this very moment, I don't know what to do. I'm panicking. I'm afraid. And I'm still lost."

It was the first silent moment since I had seen him tonight.

I never liked it. Sitting in silence.

It's almost like drowning except your lungs don't burn for air. Your arms don't panic trying to pull yourself to the surface.

You are floating in a void that consumes you and you can't do anything about it, and unless if you see a light.

But unless if you get that same light, you will be trapped in darkness.

It's been my greatest fear, being helpless. I struggled to maintain my body and be prepared for an attack but I couldn't do it whenever I found myself in the presence of my demons.