The Witch He Loved

Chapter 14

I couldn't avoid Loki forever, I knew that but I still couldn't help but try to.

Every time he had entered a room I either made sure to be in conversation with someone else or I would leave the room in search for someone, anyone really to talk to.

By the time dinner had rolled around I had somehow managed to avoid being alone with him all day, but now, as we all sat around the table I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head. Trying my best to ignore him, I focus on the conversations around the table.

"It must have been difficult for you to all be apart for so long, not having contact with each other" I watch Tony as Thor speaks to him.

"Some of us are used to it, before we had each other we were doing our own things, I had company with Pepper though, others kept busy" His eyes flick to mine quickly before looking back at his food. "Not all of us were that lucky though"

The table seemed to grow quiet, everyone knew what each other had done in that time, we had all spoken about it. Tony had been busy with his company and Pepper, Steve had looked for Bucky and then convinced him to come back with him. Nat had tried to stay isolated, but that never really happened and Clint, he had family, he was happy being with them, enjoying his retirement.

Looking back down to my food I start to push it around the plate, feeling eyes glancing in my direction, it made me uncomfortable.

Damn Tony and his big mouth.

A silence settles over the table, noise only coming from the touching of cutlery onto plates. I let my mind wander, probing into everyone else's to hear the reposes left unsaid.

It's all just sympathy, they all knew I was expecting Loki to be there, expecting to not be alone. I couldn't hear anything from Thor or Loki, the barriers in their minds were stronger than the others.

Only cause he didn't show up. 

Bucky's voice vibrates inside my mind, I look up sharply meeting his eyes. They widen for a second, I hear him wonder if I had heard him but I just smile at him and he relaxes a bit, smiling back.

With his words giving you a new sense of confidence you put down your fork and look at Thor. "It would have been made easier if plans and promises had been kept instead of broken"

I stand, feeling the tension rise around the table with me.

"That is unfair Kathy, we had no choice but to go" He looks at me with a frown.

"Why does no one seem to understand this? It's not the fact that you left. It's that neither of you came back. You could have sent a message, a sign, even visited once in a while, surely your father didn't need you every day at every hour?"  I try to speak calmly but my voice shakes as I try to hold my emotions back. 

As Thor looks down, I can feel the discomfort of everyone else around the table but no one makes a move to leave the room while I'm stood there. Spinning on my heel I walk out, in the opposite direction of my room, I need to walk this off.

I walk for a while, not really paying attention to where I'm going until I stop in front of a door. I open it, stepping inside I my emotions stir inside of me again.

I'm inside the apartment style area that Loki and I had once shared for an evening. I smile to myself thinking about how Tony and Thor had tricked us both inside.

Running a hand down the wall I flick the lights on and move further inside, stopping at the spot that we had both danced in.

"I tried to come back to you sooner" His voice is soft.

With a sigh I close my eyes and prepare myself for the argument we're likely about to have.

"But you didn't" I still don't turn to him, rooted to the spot.

I listen to his steps until he stops behind me, about an arms length away.

"I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I just want you to understand" his voice is calm, not a shred of anger to be heard, it bothers me.

"What am I supposed to understand Loki? You said you'd come back and find me, you promised. Instead I don't see or hear from you for over a year" I feel my eyes begin to water, the calmness of our conversation is somehow harder than if we were shouting at each other. 

"When I went back my father wanted to assessed if I was to be trusted. I told him all about you and the team, he was pleased but unconvinced. I made me stay there, to prove myself to him. I came back as soon as he allowed me to."

Turning to look at him I pay attention to the details of his face, his hair is longer, slight bags under his eyes, signs of tiredness and stress bring more lines onto his face but his eyes, they look as broken as mine do. 

I sigh and sit down at the table, motioning for him to join me so he does.

"It feels like so much has happened since you've been gone Loki. I'm tired of this now, the time I spent away from it all, the fighting and stress of this life, it was peaceful and calm but lonely"

He looks at you with sorrow. "I can't describe to you how much I wish I could have been with you through it all."

"I know, but you weren't. I needed you here with me. You broke your promise" Your throat caches as you stop to take a breath. 

"It broke my heart when I thought you weren't coming back" I feel a tear finally escape, as it rolls down my cheek I notice him watch it before he reaches out a hand, catching it with him thumb, he cups my face as his other hand takes a hold of mine.

"What can I do to make this right Kathy? My feelings toward you haven't diminished... I'd like to keep our relationship moving forward if that's at all possible"

I quietly think over his words, I love him with every part of myself, even now after he had hurt me. But could we just pick up where we had left off?

"I think I need time Lo, I need to know you are back to stay, I understand you may have to go back to your home sometimes but at such length? It's unfair, on me, on us."

He nods his head to me and takes his hand off my face. "That is reasonable, then I shall do my best to keep restrained but know this, I won't hide my feelings toward you, to you or anyone else."

I give him a half smile as my chest swells. "I'm not surprised, I wouldn't expect any less from you"

He stands and looks at me for a moment, a fight battling behind his eyes. He gives me a small nod and turns to leave, stopping at the door he looks back one more time.

"I truly do love you Katherine" Then he's gone, before I even have a chance to respond to him.

My hand goes to my stomach, it's become some type of habit at this point, my fingers tracing the snakes. 

"Unconditionally, always" I whisper to the empty doorway.