Beautiful World ~ 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑹𝑹𝒀

Chapter 22

"I think I've done something really stupid."

Sirius looked stunned and then, slowly, relieved. Harry felt a vague stirring of guilt at that. "Harry," he said. "I wasn't expecting you. Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I should." He slipped into the room and collapsed in the armchair he always sat on during his sessions with Sirius, and sighed. "I just... I needed to talk to someone."

The blind fury had sustained him until he'd walked into Hogwarts alone and realized that he had just left Draco alone in the forest, bleeding, and then Harry had panicked. He needed to talk to someone about... about Draco. Someone who wouldn't think 'Oh god, but it's Draco Malfoy'. And, since someone like that wasn't readily available, he had gone to Sirius, who at least, hopefully, would listen, and not dash off to beat up Draco or something.

Sirius looked uncertain, the need to be there for Harry warring with what he figured Responsible Parenting was. He wasn't sure what exactly he was supposed to do; Sirius never was when it came to Harry. "Right," Sirius said finally, setting his book aside. "Are you alright?"

He'd be allowed to stay then. Harry sighed in relief and then said, "No. Uhh, right now? No. I think I've done something stupid."

"I'm sure it's not that bad, Harry. I did lots of stupid things when I was your age. What happened? If it's skipping class you're worried about, I'll tell Dumbledore you were with me and you won't -"

"Draco kissed me last night in the lake and then I woke up in his bed and panicked and ran away but he came after me and we were in this field and I kissed him and we umm did umm we umm I... then he said something and I got mad and hit him and made him bleed and just left him there." He sucked in a deep breath, having blurted all that out as quickly as he could without pausing to breathe.

Sirius blinked slowly. "Draco... Malfoy kissed you?"

His eyes closed and Harry took a deep breath. Please let him have heard more than the first three words I said, he prayed. He didn't know if he had the courage to repeat it.

Sirius must have understood this, because he said quickly, "Umm, well. Alright. Alright, that's not so bad. Was he... was he drunk?"

"No."

"Were you drunk?"

"No." Softer now.

"...Did you...kiss him back?"

"Yes." Softer still.

"...I see." There was a thoughtful pause and Harry just knew that Sirius was carefully considering how to proceed. He supposed it wasn't fair of him, being so stubborn these last few weeks and then now just dropping this huge mess at his feet. That just reminded him of everything that Draco had said, and he swallowed carefully to hold back a low whimper. "Alight," Sirius said carefully. "What did... what did he say to you? Did he say something hurtful?"

"He said... he said that I was only doing it because I was angry and wanted to add it to my list of things I'd done that I wasn't supposed to. He... he said that..." His voice got quiet. "That maybe I could be a selfish prat to everyone else but not to him. Then I hit him and he was bleeding and I said that... umm, I should have known better than to expect him to understand, I had forgotten who I was talking to."

Sirius winced and Harry sniffled. "Then you left?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you know if he came back yet?"

"I don't know."

There was silence for a long time, another silence in which Harry waited patiently for the fatherly advice he wasn't sure Sirius was capable of giving, and Sirius cautiously weighed each of his words. Harry wondered, with a morbid sort of humour, if Sirius wished Harry had come here to talk about death and dying rather than his love life.

Well, sort of love life. More like hormone life. Hormone? More than that. More like... like...

He scowled and looked away. Whatever it was, Sirius probably didn't want to hear about it. "I should go," he said, standing up quickly.

"Harry, wait!"

"What?"

Their eyes met, and Sirius bit his lip. An endless moment, and then he tossed Harry a small, almost devious grin. "Ya want me to rough him up a bit for breaking your heart?"

Another endless second, Harry's mouth hanging open, his eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Sirius, still grinning a bit, was shaking his head, snickering. "Sit down, Harry, honestly. You came here to talk, let's talk."

"About what?"

"You came to talk about Malfoy. So tell me about him."

Shifting awkwardly, Harry mumbled, "What do you want to know?" He fell heavily into his chair.

"Well, for starters, allow me to go parental on you for a moment. You woke up in his bed?"

"Well, yeah. Umm. But we didn't. Not until in the... well I guess... since you're being parental... I shouldn't tell you..." He frowned.

"Right. Well. Alright. Forget that parental shit. I suck at it, honestly."

Feeling rather relieved, Harry relaxed. "Right." Then, after a pause, Harry said, "He didn't... he didn't break my heart."

"Did you break his?"

Another long silence, and then, in a tiny voice, Harry whispered, "I think so." His voice cracked and he sniffled, turning away. "I hit him!"

"I'm sure he's alright," Sirius said gently.

"You don't understand! He's... He's... We're friends!"

"Friends who spend the night -" he cut himself off at Harry's glare, and said quickly, "Right, right. Friends."

"I just... I can't believe that he would say that I was just with him because I wasn't supposed to be."

"Well, why are you with him? I mean, no offence, Harry, but it is a rather big coincidence that it's only after... after Dumbledore told you everything, that you and Malfoy got so close..."

Harry swallowed hard and then said quietly, "Maybe it is just another consequence of finding out all of this. Maybe. But then... but then why is it automatically assumed that any consequence of this has to be bad?"

Sirius looked surprised at that. "I guess... I guess not."

"And being with Draco isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's technically supposed to not happen, but that's not why it did. It happened because I needed it to. I mean, if it hadn't, I think I'd have... have gone mad."

"Then go and find him, Harry. Tell him all of that. If he can help you when no one else can right now, don't let him go."

"You helped," Harry said quietly. "You did, Sirius."

Sirius shrugged a bit, but he was smiling a little, his eyes sad. "We're all trying to help."

Uncomfortable, Harry nodded and got out of his chair. "I've got to go find Draco."

"Yeah. Come back soon, alright?"

"Maybe. I mean, yeah." He nodded and slipped out of the room.