Story Dump 🦀

Sending A Clear Message

// TW Implied Abuse, Experimentation, mental breakdown, referenced character death.//

  The walls are torn and dingey, the floor creaks with each step, and yet, they progress. They’ve come here for answers, or at least Lotus has. Answers and perhaps closure, Rurik’s tagged along for, as he puts it, ‘emotional support’ even though it’s not a secret that Rurik Roller is the last person you’d go to for emotional support. But Lotus is grateful either way, because in all honesty, he didn’t want to be here alone. The halls are full of uncomfortable memories, and there are still holes in some of them, the house is so silent. Though Lotus remembers it always being quiet, save for his dad's sick coughing, and his fathers anger, the house was always scarily quiet. The two make it into the master, and Lotus wills himself to walk in, the memory of his younger self rushing in, he was good that day so he was allowed a visit, he remembers pale, shakey, hands gently wrapping the red fabric around his neck, whispering a prayer for Lotus to run, to get out, to experience what freedom he could… he wonders if his bed ridden dad would be proud of him. 

   He stands by the old, shredded, bed, and carefully unwraps the scarf from his neck, he places it on the bed, sucking in the stuffy, cold air, to fight away tears. He feels his friend hug his side, Rurik understands, he thinks, understands that losing the one person who seemingly loved you, was hard as it is. “ Do you want me to go for a minute?” he asks, quietly, which makes a small part of Lotus want to laugh, it’s so uncharacteristic of his taller friend. “Yeah… I’ll only be a minute.” Rurik pats his back, “Take your time man, I’ll go down the hall.” Lotus nods, waiting til the other was gone, before collapsing on the unstable floor, gripping the bed sheets like he did when he was younger, “Why’d you leave me?” he asks, tears slipping down his face, “I could- would have come back and saved you… why didn’t you give me the chance to do so?” Lotus chokes on a sob, “You- You were supposed to-to stay, why di-didn’t you stay?” he asks to the dust, the shadows, like he’s expecting the ghost of his dad to answer, “You shoul-shouldn’t have died here- with him” he seethes, sitting back, “Why did you promise me you’d be there, only just to leave?” he continues, wiping the tears from his face with no success, “we- you could have watched me grow up- though, ha, I- um- I don’t think you’d be so happy…” I know I’m not , there’s silence.

    “I miss you… that shit bag is still out there, I know because he sometimes leaves, um, leaves stupid letters..” he mumbles, why was this so hard? Lotus takes in a shuddering breath, before laughing, maybe it was another sob, but it comes out like a desperate laugh, “Gods im so tired dad… I’m still trying, I think a lot about how mad you’d be if I gave up so soon, you’d probably scold me haha… So I keep trying… Rurik helps me, or at least he attempts too, he isn’t um, isn’t the best with feelings, but he tries… and um, Goth and Palette annoy me every week, keep me busy, say im too cooped up in my studies… But it’s the only thing i have the energy to do anymore, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do to stop becoming whatever fucking monstrosity i am… I wish you could be here to help me… Maybe, if I listened as a kid, you’d still be here, maybe if the old man didn’t create me… you’d- you’d still be here… happy, maybe?” there’s more silence, and Lotus just sighs, “I’m sorry… I know that if you were right here, you’d be telling me not to blame myself, that I was your pride and joy… am I still your pride and joy?” again, he’s answered by silence, he decides that maybe he should go, before he sits here and cries himself into oblivion. 

   He stands up, dusting off his pants before patting the red scarf, “ I don’t need this anymore… I think you should have it back dad… I still have a piece of it, so i guess it’s not too much of a loss heh… love you..” he walks out, shaking his hands as if that’ll stop the tears from coming back, “Come on, there’s one last room I want to see before we burn this fucking hell hole.” he sniffles, Rurik joins his side again, there’s no words between the two, but he finds his hand is slowly enclosed in his friends, Lotus understands that it’s the only comfort his friend feels he can offer, Lotus leads them both to the basement door, and he’s hit with sorrow and dread… “Want me to stay for this one?” Rurik offers, Lotus thinks about it, as he reaches for the door knob and opens the door to the rotting staircase, “Yeah.. actually, I um.. yeah..” They walk down the staircase and the dread sinks in, along with the memories, the screaming, begging, the needles...Lotus hasn’t realized he’s stopped walking until Rurik’s worried face is in front of his, and he can feel his companions' hands gently push back his hair, “You sure you want to continue? We can always do this another day- burn in tonight if you still want-“ “Im- Im sure..” Lotus forces, the two step off the last step and onto the cold, water damaged, floor. 

   Rurik doesn’t know much about Lotus’ childhood, but just looking at this basement, like the bed- well mattress, tucked in the corner which is dirty, covered in mold… there’s a few tables and a cooler chest tucked into the corner. Needless to say, it makes him really uneasy… then he hears Lotus fall, quickly turning to his friend, he finds Lotus curled up on himself, and he’s suddenly aware that his friend is currently having a breakdown… Oh gods, what was he supposed to do?? Like, does he go over and hug Lotus??? Gods why was he so bad at this? he awkwardly steps closer to his crying friend and pat his back, should he say something??? “ You-um- you ok?” fucking dumbass . “That- ok, so that was a really dumb question-“ Lotus laughs a bit, sitting up, and wipes his face, “Yeah?” he pushes out, “ ‘m sorry..” he mutters, laughing again, Rurik shrugs, “It’s ok… You don’t have to apologize.” “I know” Lotus says, Rurik looks around the basement, “It’s really fucking weird in here.” Lotus huffs, “Wasn’t any better when I was kept in here.” yeah, that made Rurik more uneasy… “Kept here?” he asks, maybe it wasn’t his place too, but it would be nice. “Yeah… Not exactly normal, Rurik.. Don’t know if you’ve noticed.” It doesn’t settle any of his unease, and Lotus seems to notice, “My father wasn’t a good man… Most memories I have of this room is just pain.. He wanted a perfect being, I guess, but he uh, he would do anything.” Rurik sat next to his friend, the room seemed tighter now, and he knows Lotus is sugarcoating the severity of it all. 

   Lotus sits back, sighing, “I just- I was so alone and terrified the entire time. He would come down here, and we’d spend hours ‘training’...” Lotus leans against his friend, “ But I’d rather he take it out on me, than my dad…” Lotus looked at the gross mattress, “If your father ever bothers you, I’ll kick his ass” It’s out of nowhere, and Lotus doesn’t think Rurik meant to say it aloud, “Yeah?” he asks, Rurik looks at him, “Absolutely.” Lotus laughs, which makes Rurik smile, as the other playfully pushes him, “Yeah right man, you’d  probably get your shit rocked.” Lotus laughs, Rurik mocks an offended gasp, “No! I bet he’s an old little bitch! I’d totally win.” Rurik says, Lotus covers his face, “Dude-“ The small basement if full with a bout of laughter from the two. “Come on. We should get out of here, it’s gross.” Rurik says, standing up, but Lotus doesn’t follow, “Yeah.. Um I’ll be out in a sec.” Rurik hesitates, before sighing, “Yeah, ok. I’ll be outside.” Lotus nods, waiting for Rurik to be gone, he stands up, suddenly filled with Determination, he walks over to the far corner, wiping his tears, he digs his fingers through one of the bricks, it hurts, but he pulls it out, and the ones below it, looking into the little hole, he reaches in, pulling out a few old books. 

    “You hurt me.” he mutters, opening the book, “You hurt me, for what ?” he drops it, “For some power trip? To create some sort of weapon?” The page is open to what little is known of Angels, “You killed dad, you hurt me, yet never once, did you think…. But it doesn’t matter now. Because all of this fucking bullshit is burning, with the rest of this shit. You’ll never get to finish this. Burn in fucking hell. ” It feels good, to get some of it out, and he sucks in a sob. before taking the book with him. 

    When he steps outside, he walks down the driveway and meets Rurik by his truck, “Let’s burn it.” Lotus says, reaching into the bed of the truck, grabbing the canister of gasoline, “Y’know, never thought I’d be supporting your pyromania.” Rurik says, handing Lotus the book of matches, “Yeah? you act like you don’t know me.” Lotus laughs, voice hoarse from all the crying, Note to self: maybe don’t cry so much . Lotus walks through the house, covering most of it in gasoline, before making a trail outside, Rurik slings his arm around the other’s shoulders as Lotus takes a deep breath. Burning the house means he’s burning any chance his father has at salvaging the experiment. It sends a message, that Lotus is done playing tag. He’s done playing the victim, he’s done. He strikes the match, and drops it, watching the flames chase the oil, a smile on his face. “This is an interesting way of getting closure, if I’m honest.” Rurik jokes, watching as the house rolls up in flames, Lotus chuckles beside him, and it seems off, but Rurik doesn't say anything about it. Lotus watches with a wide smile, “Not all of us can find closure through conversation, sometimes, we need to send a clear message.” “Message?” Rurik asks, now things were setting in… and he isn’t sure if he likes the way it’s going, “Yeah, that it’s over'' Lotus responds calmly, “Now let's go, before the cops show up.” “Right” but Rurik stays a little bit, to watch the flames…. A message… A clear one… He’ll stress about the implications later, he decides, and rushes back to his truck.