Heroics and Other Things

Chapter 34: Flowers In The Snow

To say that Hitoshi felt guilty for leaving Izuku behind would be to misunderstand what guilt was. Guilt came once the disaster had already been processed, once the negative outcomes were understood and accepted. Guilt was turning your focus inwards, even while staring at the wreckage your decisions had made. Guilt was the sense that the worst part of all the bad things happening was that the bad things were all your fault.

Hitoshi didn't have room in him for anything as petty as guilt at that moment.

As he stood outside the mall, shivering in the sunbaked air, struggling for breath while standing still, Hitoshi felt only a deep and all-consuming worry. He was afraid for Izuku, terrified that in that moment when he'd been left alone some villain who had been stalking him, waiting for their opening, had slipped in and attacked. Almost as bad was the possibility that something unrelated had happened and Izuku was being blamed for it, damaging or perhaps obliterating the public reputation that was so central to his goals as a hero. The worst part was not knowing, being unable to get anywhere near what was going on, and being powerless to do anything about it.

He called Izuku several times in a row, but each time it rang out and went to voicemail. Text messages went unread and unanswered. Then he called Shouto in a panic, desperately reaching out for someone who might know what to do, and was given the idea to call Aizawa. His teacher told him to stay where he was, which wasn't much of a plan, but knowing that Mic was going to the police station to see what information he could get had soothed Hitoshi's frantic worry somewhat. Mic knew that Izuku would never do anything bad. If the issue was that Izuku was in trouble, Mic would be able to sort it out.

"Shinsou," said Aizawa's voice, after what felt like no time at all, and Hitoshi turned to find his teacher behind him, dressed casually but with a look of concern on his tired face.

Something in Hitoshi's chest seemed to break at the sight of his teacher, and tears immediately began streaming from his stinging eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, wiping at them ineffectually. "I just-"

"It's fine," Aizawa said gruffly, then reached out and pulled Hitoshi against him. "You're fine, it's all fine."

"I don't know what's happening," Hitoshi murmured, burying his face in his teacher's shirt. It was black, and thick like a sweatshirt, despite the warm weather. "I'm scared for Izuku."

There was a moment of hesitation, then Aizawa threaded his fingers into Hitoshi's wild hair. "Mic will find out," he said carefully. "He'll text me when he has more information."

"I don't know what to do," Hitoshi admitted.

"Nothing," Aizawa said firmly. "There's nothing you can do. Let's get you home."

"But what about Izuku?!" Hitoshi demanded in horror, looking up.

Aizawa looked down at him, frowning. "There's nothing you can do for him now. You did the right thing to call me, and I will make sure this is handled, but right now I need to get you somewhere safe."

Hitoshi took a shaky breath. His own safety was the farthest thing from his mind. It felt wrong to leave Izuku, especially when it was for the second time today, but he knew he couldn't help any better than Mic could. Finally he nodded, and let Aizawa lead him through the crowd with a steadying hand on his back.

The train station was a mess of people trying to get home from the now-closed shopping mall, and Hitoshi had cause to be grateful he had someone with him. He didn't think he could have navigated it on his own. While they were on the train he checked the class group chat, to find it blowing up with people wanting to know what had happened and if any of them had been involved. Hitoshi texted them what he knew, which wasn't much but was more than they had, and told them Aizawa said to go home. Kirishima refused, insisting that he would stay and wait for Izuku, but Ashido promised to find him and drag him to her place.