New to the Neighborhood

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I'm an idiot.

My second day in my new house and I locked myself out. Though I blame my forgetfulness on all my stress over moving.

I loitered out front for a while, not sure what to do. My roommate Kristy was at work and wouldn't be home for another 5 hours. And I had to use the restroom.

With this in mind, I began circling the house, trying at windows to see if I could find one unlocked. As I came around to the back of the house, my eyes landed on the doggy door from the backyard into the house.

With no other options, I plopped down on the ground in front of it and peered inside. I could probably fit!

I gently eased forward, wiggling my upper body through. I paused to make sure I wasn't stuck, then kept going. As I squirmed around, winching at how dirt was smearing onto my new tank, I felt something catch on my skirt. I gave a pull and felt my skirt tighten, then heard the unmistakable sound of ripping.

I froze, hoping the damage was minimal. I'd just bought the skirt and it was definitely a splurge purchase. I wouldn't dare ruin it. I tried to squeeze my arms back through to unhook whatever had gotten my skirt caught. I scooted backwards, deciding against squeezing through the doggy door at the risk of getting caught.

As I squirmed out, I felt something approach. "Woof!" A wet nose pressed against my bare thigh and snuffled around, jabbing its snout in between my legs inquisitively.

"Hey! Stop that!" I shouted, thrashing about and shoving my arms through to shoo the dog  away. My wiggling must've enticed the dog, because next thing I knew, my panties were being threaded between my cheeks in an unexpected wedgie.

I squeaked and tried backing out, but in my haste only got myself stuck. Since my arms were down against my sides instead up up above my head, my shoulders were squeezed together and were too big to exit the doggy door. I had gotten myself in a sticky spot.

The dog tugged on my panties again, shaking me around like a toy. "Oi! Knock it off!" I begged, flailing my arms to try and dislodge my panties from the mongrels mouth. But he just kept pulling, wedgying me over and over.

Then I heard my neighbors calling out. "Bones! Where'd you run off to?"

The dog halted his yanking, much to my relief as I slumped down. Then he began barking, but didn't release my panties.

"Bones?" The dog barked again. "Bones come here!" The voices got closer.

That's when I really started to panic. I began thrashing again, startling Bones and making him start yanking at my panties again, shaking my rear from side to side.

"Bones?" The voices were just around the corner.

"It's alright! I found your dog! Don't come back here!" I pleaded as loudly as I could. "I'll send him on over shortly!"

But my pleas fell on silent ears, and I cringed as I heard footsteps around the corner of my house and stop at the sight of my dog wedgie. There were a pair of snorts and chuckles.

"Bones! What are you doing you rascal?" snickered a male voice. I squeezed my eyes shut in mortification. "You find a nice new toy to play with?"

The other person whistled appreciatively. "How are you, little miss? Seems quite cozy down there," he joked.

"Oh god," I whispered to myself. "I got locked out. And then I got stuck when I was trying to crawl through the doggy door. And then your little mutt started attacking me!" I shouted angrily.

The two boys laughed, much to my indignation. "He doesn't just attack people! You must've provoked him!"

"I did not!" I argued. "He's just a stupid dog who doesn't understand anything!"

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