***
It's hard to hate somebody you grew up with.
In case of Aubrielle though — she made it a piece of delicious cake. There was a degree of loathing wherever she went. Wherever she did, she saddened the moods, dim the source of light into a full shade of yellow — crushed lotus, a dying firefly — "stop corrupting the boys, Aubrielle!"
"stop being so loud, Aubrielle!"
"Miss Hamilton, please don't test my patience"
"Go to the headmaster's office, Aubrielle, I've had enough of you"
"Emmaline's alone today," that day, she particularly pushed. "Now's your chance."
At times I wondered if her father loved her.
I cast a look at her. A daisy had wound up staying in her nest-like hair and God, she scented like boys. Used boys. Emotionally vulnerable or otherwise, used boys. Of salty tears and broken commitments. "Don't draw your chair to close," I say without blinking. "To me, I'm supposed to be working here."
"It's almost two."
"So why won't you fuck off?"
Aubrielle smirked. "You look like a loser," An eye roll is what she got as she continued, "What kind of businessman doesn't know the name of his colleagues? Doesn't have connections?" Her breathing hit my jawline, causing a shudder, and despite the commotion of pupils — freshly released from lessons I presume — she drove me crazy. "Hasn't been featured in tabloids doing the acts of love...?" Satisfied, she smiled.
"Love you say?" Did Tabitha love me? Did Tabitha love anyone? "Isn't the failure of Tabitha the reason you skulk so much?" I barked a laugh then. "Filling your void with dicks isn't love, you know."
Aubrielle didn't faze herself.
"At least I'm not afraid of letting people in."
I tried — I failed — I failed in focusing the grey blue backdrop of unhurried skies. I forgot my fists were balled, my heart was going 80 miles per minute, my coat was damp and my eye held mist... And she wasn't my real sister, of course she wouldn't see it. "Heavy topics, aren't they? So tedious." She got back on her heels, studded with pink stones and hers were the only legs that were wrapped in stockings, pushing back her red tresses she waved me ciao.
To activate my parasympathetic system — I dived back in to shades of sepia. Suddenly, I was grateful I'd work. I've to mark this papers before evening. I called up Dawn Dawson.
***
The sound of chair scraping broke my boredom at once. Head shooting up, I nod in acknowledgement. "Dawn."
"Yes," her voice is serene, lilting.
Like a robot — waiting to be programmed — Dawn Dawson sat straight, gaze the color of..., oh nevermind. "Anything I can help with?" She said. "Where's Helius?"
"Haven't seen him for days"
I shrugged.
After church, about last Sunday, we had engaged in midnight carousels. Our encounters have been getting more out of control ever since Aubrielle joint the cheerleading. Well, thanks sister. I'll be borrowing him more now. "Some family emergency, I think." Get a grip, Alexander!
Dawn slowly started to arrange the already graded ones by seat number.
"He is one of the scholarship students, yes?"
Yes, that BTS boy has brains to get inside the pits of hell, he's a troubled genius that way. I smiled a bit mysteriously —"you're right in assuming that. Jo- My dad pays his fees—" Better than goddamn trips with Tabitha but of course I don't add that. "—despite his absences, I can say that guy stays ahead in everything, an all rounder, perhaps."
"Why is he dating your sister?"
"Half-sister."
I couldn't tell her the real reason.
God no.
That Aubrielle did like staying ahead. She did clean her room twice. She had sign boards so that her roomie won't walk in on her hookups (acts of love, my butt). And it was Aubrielle who had proposed him and not the other way around, as ladies would automatically theorize. "Money problems." It pained me.
"Do you loan him?"
"Never," As a spoke, my fingers slid out a cigarette stick, letting the pack drop in the bottom most drawer with a thump. I inhale the goodness. "I don't trust anyone," I told her bitterly.
Dawn's hand movements stopped. Words crushed against her tongue, but later died inside her throat, as she ended up saying. "Understood."
***
With my only buddy gone, I'm free as a song.
I can smoke, smoke, smoke large volumes.
I can be a chimney.
A chimney made of old bricks, blackened, steady... I do shall get featured in children's movies.
I called a cab.
Dawn went home.
Like knights, lockers line up my vision. I feel happy. Lips dried, eyes drooping. The spliff glowed between my index finger and middle finger as I wearily descend the staircase.
That's when I heard people talking in the next room. The music room. Streams of melody leak as well.
Am I hallucinating?
"Oh god, this piano has your name-... I will! I will! -... That's why, you-... No wonder you're-... How embarrassing! And-...ing"
Must be the freaks.
In spite of better judgement, I stood against the ajar door with my left ear pressed against wood. Girls, I can tell they are.
"I thought only Helius is allowed here."
"That's not true!"
"I-I can't compete with him."
"Why not?"
"He's so pretty, I wanna cry"
Helius has a fan club. I'll tease him the next time I see him.
"So what's your deal? Come here often?"
"I don't have the pass on me at all times -"
"-says who you need one."
"Alexander did."
Emma? Emmaline? I cuss internally. Of course it's her. Freak.
"No you don't! Brother doesn't know shit!"
You can already guess her partner in crime.
"Isn't he like the top students though?"
"Sure is... But so am I." Aubrielle's naturally sultry voice colored me red. On the verge of seething, I struggled as not to end her play too soon. Now she's corrupting her? Emmaline? Like seriously—
"Let's be Picasso together! Break some rules! We're queens!"
Probably high.
"Who is he to you anyway?"
I'm gonna shoot her—
"F-Fur Elise!"
"Come again?"
"It's so easy to play," Emmaline forced out a laughter. I wonder why? "A begginer's song; Goes like —"
E E♭ E E♭ E
B D C A
A B
G♯ B C
E E♭ E
What a numbing tune.
***
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