kiss me before you go

valentine's day

then came around february and before you know it,
valentine's day was here.
i remember how much i used to despise the day.
hated seeing all the happiest couples snuggling up with each other,
sneaking in tiny kisses near the lockers, bathroom stalls,
or in the discreet corners of the hallways.
i couldn't stand to see people together.
maybe it was the bitterness of not having that kind
of happiness in me before
or feeling a ridiculous amount
rage when i'd see people show off the gifts their
boyfriends and girlfriends got for them.
now that i'm one of those couples, who knew it
would feel so pressuring?
i see them exchange lavish gifts, beautiful hand-picked flowers,
and some of the biggest teddy bears i've ever seen.
i felt nervous, insecure enough that i thought my gifts to henry
wouldn't be enough.
i made him a matching bracelet and a handmade sweatshirt that took me
weeks to make but my stomach did not hesitate to churn.
so while i stand near my locker and clutch my gifts near my chest,
plastering every small smile on my face when people pass by,
i waited for henry to show up.
but when he came up to me with the biggest smile on his face,
in that moment everything felt genuine.
we exchanged our gifts and it felt like i was the happiest girl in the world.
a leather-bound notebook for songwriting, a necklace with a music note charm
and a small note in the box that said, "from your lover."
"with a shitty heart next to it?!" my face breaking out in delight.
"with a shitty heart next to it," he smiled.