Not Expendable

Chapter 1

Eddie had a bad feeling as soon as Buck told him about it.

In light of the messy, troubled relationship Buck had with his parents – as much as they'd recently made efforts to mend fences – a trip back home had ripe potential to not be the most pleasant experience. Eddie had heard horror stories about the two family dinners that took place when Buck's parents came to Los Angeles, and this time Buck was going to do two things he hadn't done in years: visit his childhood home, and actually spend an extended amount of time, not just one evening, with his parents. On top of that, he wouldn't have Maddie, who had a baby at home and was still not fully recovered from postpartum depression, to back him up.

Buck tried to bright-side the whole thing, insisting that he and his parents were making real headway in improving their relationship ever since the big Buckley family secret came out. Eddie knew just how positive Buck could be, like a human ray of sunshine – it was one of the things he loved about him – but he had to wonder if Buck genuinely felt this way, or if he was trying to convince himself, not just Eddie, of what a good idea this trip was.

Hell, Eddie even offered to go with him. He might not have years of practice of dealing with the Buckley parents' passive-aggressiveness like Maddie did, or even really know them, but he would still be able to lend Buck his support if needed. But Buck insisted that this was a nonstarter; he hadn't even told his parents he was bisexual yet (I wonder why, Eddie thought sardonically), and showing up on their doorstep with a boyfriend, even one they had met before in Eddie's capacity as their son's co-worker, was not the way to do it.

At the end of the day, it was Buck's choice, and there was only so much caution Eddie could offer about the whole thing before becoming a nag, so he told Buck to go ahead (after making Buck promise to call/text him, at any hour whatsoever, if needed).

As soon as he'd dropped Buck off at the airport on the day of the trip, Eddie began to feel on edge. He was grateful for every call on his subsequent shift, even the most annoying ones, because it kept him busy, and when he was busy he didn't have time to worry about whatever was going to happen in Pennsylvania. Bobby, Chimney and Hen could all tell what was bothering Eddie – they knew about the trip, after all, and they knew the whole deal with Buck and Maddie's family – but their words of encouragement did not do much to put him at ease, even if he appreciated the gesture.

The first time Buck called Eddie, it was just to say he'd arrived at this parents' house. But when he called again the next morning, Eddie could tell something was wrong. There was something deadened, hollow, in Buck's tone, even as he talked about the café where they were going to have brunch that day or the nice new curtains his mother had picked out for the living room. Eddie gently inquired if his boyfriend was alright, but Buck was reluctant to get into it on the phone, quietly saying they'll talk when he gets back. Maybe he didn't want to risk his parents overhearing, or maybe it was something he only felt comfortable talking about in person; in any case, Eddie understood and didn't press the issue.

After what felt like a lot longer than one weekend, the trip came to an end. Buck's return flight landed late in the evening, and he took a cab from the airport to Eddie's apartment, having accepted Eddie's offer to stay the night at the Diaz household upon his return (much to Eddie's relief). Christopher was sound asleep by the time Eddie heard the knock on the door; as much as he wanted to see Buck, Eddie refused to let his son stay up that late.

When Eddie opened the door, Buck's expression was largely inscrutable, though there was a clear hint of gratitude to be back home in his eyes. Eddie couldn't even wait until Buck had come inside and put down his bags; he instantly wrapped his arms around Buck, pressing the younger man to his body.