Random Imagines & One-shots

Silent Love (Winter Soldier x reader)

You didn’t choose this life that was thrown at you, and you sure didn’t choose to be in charge of the training of an assassin. But, what choice did you have, the answer was simple; you had none. It was that, or they would kill you, and that wasn’t something you wanted.
At first, training him seemed impossible. He was always lashing out and fighting. He wanted nothing to do with HYDRA and what this place stood for. It didn't take long though for that fight to be beaten out of him, or washed from his mind.
These men loved their torture. You always found that revolting, and disgusting. You wanted absolutely nothing to do with that side. You were a purebred warrior, and they weren't not going to take advantage of that.
They knew they could get you to do anything so long as you were training day and night. That's how they controlled you. If you stepped out of line they made you torture the innocent. They rewarded you with more men to train, and eventually put you in charge of training the Winter Soldier.
When you first met him, he didn't say much. You were not used to quiet people, you yourself were a very talkative person, and were not used to training in silence. He didn’t have to say anything though, you could tell all that you needed to know from the look in his eyes. He was sad and alone and he didn’t want to be there anymore. You didn’t blame him though, this was the best place to be. You wanted to leave just as bad as he did.
You were sure you sometimes annoyed him over the last few months with trying to hold a conversation. Hell, you were sure that if you wanted to be left alone, you would be annoyed too. You were just trying to be an escape for him, knowing there was no one else here who would try to befriend the soldier. The only reason you thought you were annoying to him was due to a conversation you had after one of your most recent training sessions.
“So what’s on your mind today Soldier?” You asked as you wrapped your session for the day.
“Why?” He snarked, this wasn’t unusual though.
“You seemed more distracted than normal. I just want to make sure that your head is in the right place.”
“Yeah, it’s on my shoulders. Are we done here?”
“Yeah, sorry I bothered to ask.” You snarled, walking off to your sleeping quarters.
You didn’t need some smartass super soldier running his mouth, thinking he was all that. It really irritated you that he seemed to close you off the minute you began to worry about him. He was the best soldier HYDRA had and you were not about to let him get distracted, and get himself killed.
You shut yourself in your quarters for the rest of the day, and ignored all human interaction. Was this childish of you? Yes. Were you trying to make a statement? Of course you were. You just hoped it got across to the right person.
Late into the night after everyone was asleep there came a knock on your door. You thought that everyone had gone to sleep at least, so the knock startled you. You stood up and walked to see who it was. Lone behold, it was the Soldier himself.
“What do you want?” You snarled, not being so friendly with him like you usually are.
“I wanted to apologize.”
“Wow, that's a first.” You go to close the door, but his metal arm stops you.
“Wait, let me explain myself. Please?” His eyes were different. They were filled with an emotion you have never seen before. Usually they were dark with a hint of loneliness, but this time they were pleading, begging. They were filled with so much sadness.
“Okay, come in.” You open the door wide and let him into your room.
He walks in slowly, but he stops short in front of the door. You go and sit on the bed and look at the soldier. He just stands there looking down, and you know that something is definitely wrong.
“Soldier? What’s wrong?” You ask, very worried.
“What is this feeling I have? I’ve never felt like this before.”
“It could be remorse, guilt, sadness.” You try to explain.
“Do those make you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside?”
“N-no, that would be something different, and if that’s what you came here to tell me with sadness written on your face, then you truly are psychotic. Now, if that’s all you wanted, I want you out.” You had no idea how to react. You feared that you would become just another victim of his. You didn’t want that to happen.
“No please. You have been so helpful to me in training, and you seem the best to ask. I know you won’t punish me if I ask you questions. Please, I just want to know why I feel this way. I always get a warm feeling in my stomach when I see you. It leaves me speechless when we speak, or I ramble like I am now.”
It suddenly clicked what he was talking about now, “Soldier, what you are feeling is one of two things. More likely one than another. Either lust, or love. Lust is a short lived crush where you want to take things fast, to put it simply. Love, you want a full fledged relationship, intimacy, friendship, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them.”
“What one do you think this feeling is?” The soldier asked, curiosity and even more plead was written in his eyes.
“Lust. You don’t seem like someone who wants something permanent.”
“What if I do? What if I feel safe when I’m with you?”
“Soldier, I don’t think you want something permanent with me.”
“Why not?”
“You don’t know what feelings are, let alone know what love is.”
“I know that, but I know that with your help, in time, I’ll learn.”
You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to give in, but you also know that it could cause more problems than solutions. You pat the spot on the bed next to you, inviting the soldier to join you. You take his right hand in your left, trying to be reassuring to him.
“Look, I know it’s confusing for you to have these feelings, and not know what they mean. I’ll do my best to help you through this. The very best I can, that is.”
“Thank you Y/n.”
For the first time in years, you actually saw him smile. You were mentally slapping yourself for letting your feelings take over. If this was a trap, then you were in for one hell of a punishment. You got closer to him, and leaned in.
Your lips met in a gentle kiss. His lips were rough and dry, but he was gentle. As much as you wanted to take things further, you knew it was a very bad idea. You pulled away after a few seconds, but the soldier kept you in the same position.
“What do you call that?” He asked.
You felt bad for the soldier, he seemed to really know nothing about anything. “That was a kiss. You are a very good kisser, I’m surprised you didn’t know what that was.”
“It felt natural, and I didn’t want it to end. That’s all I know, and it’s weird how I remember some things, but I don’t remember others.”
“Yeah. Look, as much as I have enjoyed this conversation with you, you should probably head back to your room. They’ll be looking for you.”
“Promise me you won’t give up on us?”
“I can’t promise anything, Soldier.” You give him a sad look knowing he probably won’t take that for an answer.
“Fine, but then I’ll promise not to give up.”
“That’s a pretty big promise to hold up there, Soldier.”
“I know. I’ll see you in training tomorrow.” He then walks out without another word.
The next morning you woke up and went through your morning routine as usual. You pushed back all the thoughts from the previous night, trying to keep your head clear. You knew that if you seemed distracted, you would be locked up, and the soldier would protest, earning him a punishment.
“Good morning Y/n.” The captain came up to you.
“Good morning Captain Karpov. What can I help you with today, sir?”
“I wanted to let you know that the Winter Soldier will not be training with you today. He is prepping for a new mission, then he will be going away. So, we will not be needing you anymore.”
“I see. So, you’re retiring me?”
“Goodness no. You will be training all the other Winter Soldiers. I don’t want you going near the sergeant. You distract him.”
You just nod and agree to train the others. You knew the soldier wouldn’t like this idea, but you knew you had to oblige, or worse things would play out. He led you to the area where all the other soldiers were. You worked hard all day long to train them the best you could, but they were no Winter Soldier, they weren’t your Winter Soldier.
That night you hid your room once more, and tried to fall asleep. Of course you couldn’t because you worried about the soldier all night. Just as you were about to let sleep finally take over, your door opens. There stood a tall shadow, and because it was dark you couldn’t make the person out. That was till they entered the room and shut the door.
“You shouldn’t be here.” You panicked.
“I know, but I thought we should see each other one last time before we don’t get the chance to.”
You were confused by what he meant, but he soon quickly approached you. He captured your lips in a rough kiss. It was a lot rougher than the night before, and it had more lust behind it. You knew this was not the soldier from the night before. He wasn’t himself, but you couldn’t help but give in to his desire.
This is what you felt would happen. He didn’t really know how to love. He only knew what he wanted, and right now that was you. He ran his hands up and down your body, and you relish in the feeling of his somewhat gentle touch.
One by one you two undressed each other, and the soldier laid you gently on the bed. He made sure to be as gentle with you as possible. He went slow, and picked up his pace as you adjusted to him. Not once did you want him to stop, the pleasure of him inside you made you feel more alive than you have ever felt before.
You prayed that things between you and the soldier wouldn’t end. Sadly, the next morning you woke in bed naked and alone. You got up and quickly dressed, heading to go train the other soldiers, just as Captain Karpov ordered you to do. You attempted to keep your soldier out of your head, but to no avail.
As you were about to enter the training room, Captain Karpov stopped you and invited you into a room you hadn’t been in before. You reluctantly obliged, and entered the room. There sat in a chair and strapped down, was the soldier.
You froze in your place as you watched what was unfolding. The soldier was screaming in agony, and you wished you could ease his pain. As the captain walked over, they stopped the torture. The captain asked if the soldier was ready to comply, and he answered that he was ready.
Captain Karpov went over a mission the soldier was to go on, and sent him away. His attention then turned to you, and you couldn’t help but freeze in place.
“You do nothing but distract the Winter Soldier. You are no use to me anymore.”
“What about training those other soldiers!? You won’t be able to find anyone else like me.”
“You’re most certainly right. That is you would be if we didn’t have your very own student to teach them.”
The more you thought about it, he was right. The Winter Soldier had completely mastered every lesson you threw at him. There would be no reason they couldn’t just use him, but you knew that if you were ‘retiring’, you would be killed.
“If I retire, I want to live the rest of my life in peace. I won’t speak of anything about HYDRA, and I won’t bother you again.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen.” Captain Karpov spoke, gesturing to his men to grab you.
You knew it wasn’t worth fighting, not yet that is. You let the men drag you out of the room, but you deceived them into letting you do one last training session. You found the most promising soldier, and told him that as soon as he was a super soldier, he needed to start an up-roar with the others, for what was happening to you would soon happen to them.
The man agreed, and you let Karpov’s men take you away. They locked you in a dark cell, keeping you there till the order was given for your execution. You were stuck there for what seemed like months, and you sadly had no idea how long you were truly in there.
You heard commotion outside before your cell door opened. Karpov walked in with the soldier. He grabbed you and had the soldier lead you over to other soldiers who were rioting. Karpov tosses you into the chaos and slams the door behind you, locking it.
You get the soldiers under control, and lock them up in their ice chambers. The soldier who had started the fight due to your orders began to yell and fight you. You explained that you were saving all of their lives. Something that you couldn’t guarantee yourself anymore. You turn on the chambers, and flee the Siberian base.

~*~

You were living your life in Romania, working and making a life for yourself. You had tried to forget the life you had with HYDRA, but you still thought of the soldier every single day. No matter how hard you try, you couldn’t help but wonder where in the world he was now.
You had heard about the falling of HYDRA, and could only hope that the soldier had escaped and could finally be free. You were heading to get a snack before heading home. You walked over to one of the many fruit stands in the local market when a man also approached the stand. You gave him a small smile before paying for your fruit, and going to leave. As you walked away, the man followed you, and stopped you.
“I don’t mean to disrupt your outing, but may I ask for your name?” He asked, that’s when you are able to get a better look at him.
“Soldier?” You were not sure if he would think that was your name, or if he would recognize you. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but your hopes were very high.
“Y-you’re alive?” He looked very shocked.
“I’m older, but yes Soldier, I’m alive.”
He gave a somber smile, but it was still a smile, and you couldn’t be any happier to see him. You reached out to grab his hand, but he backed away from you. You didn’t know what he would do next, and stepped back yourself.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not safe to be around, Y/n.”
“What happened to that promise? I know I said I couldn’t promise anything, but after the night we spent together, I knew I had to try and keep part of the promise.”
He looked up at you with a surprised look written on his face. He didn’t think you would want him, and you didn’t think he would feel the same way now that you weren’t as young as you were.
“I-I didn’t think you remembered.”
“How could I forget. You’re the first person I have ever loved. I couldn’t forget that.”
“That’s what you were trying to explain to me, and now I understand. I haven’t been able to forget you. I thought that when we left you in Siberia with all those soldiers, you had been killed.”
“Karpov said I was a distraction to you, and he wanted me out of the way. He wanted to kill me, but for some reason left me alive. It could be because I told the others to riot, and that my fate could soon be theirs. They believed me, and once they became super soldiers, they rioted in training.”
“So, you basically saved yourself by deceiving the others?”
“I needed to see you, even if it was for one last time. You were far gone though, and I didn’t know whether I could reach you.”
“Well, I’m here now, and I’m so glad we are finally reunited.” He pulled you close, kissing you softly.
You smile, pulling away after a few seconds, “I missed you so much Soldier.”
“Bucky. My name is actually Bucky.”
“Bucky. I love that name.” He then led you to his place and you spent the next couple years in peace.