It's Not The Same Without Salt

Just me and Oj at the mall. what could go wrong?

OMG! this was like.. a great idea! Me and Oj, hanging out together at the mall..... Aloooooone. Get yourself together Salt! This is the first time you've been out with Oj without Pepper like, ever! Stay cool about this.
We walk through the mall and not much is being said so I think I should just go for it.
"Heeeeey Oj!"
"Hey honey! Is something wrong?"
"Oh no I was just wondering if we could, you know... Hold hands?"
"Of course! Why didn't you say so sugarplum?"
Ok, the pet names are getting kind of weird, but whatever. I hold his hand and it's.... Normal? I don't really know what to think. I mean, it doesn't affect me at all. I'm pretty sure it's suppose to give me butterflies or something, but long as I'm with Oj it doesn't matter.
"Hey Salt, can I go into this store for a bit dear?"
He points at a hot sauce store called Firey's. He really is a simple man. I lovingly sigh.
"Go ahead Oj! I'll just be waiting out here for you."
"Alright then, see you later, Salty Salt!-"
"Don't call me that, Oj. Only Pepper gets to call me Salty Salt. But have fun!"
"Oh, um, ok, sorry then. I'll.. be going in now."
He awkwardly stumbles into Firey's embarrassed.
I really am screwing things up today aren't I? Oj just wanted to be nice to me and take me out... What's gotten into me? I walk to the water fountain in the middle of the mall and sit down on the bench. I gotta make it up to him somehow! What if I kiss him? Will that make him feel any better? I don't know what I should do. I scan the mall from where I sit for a store with sunglasses so I can get Pepper some (and maybe a pair for me too) there has to be one somewhere! I look to my left and I spot it, halfway across the mall of course. The only way I know it's even filled with sunglasses is because there is a giant sign that says SUNGLASSES 50% OFF in bold. The water splashes in the fountain behind me, it's kind of annoying to listen to so I get up and start to walk to the store. It's gonna be just in and out so Oj doesn't come out of his store and see that I've left him. I walk into the store and the door chimes. It's fairly quiet and I start to walk around. I pass by a few super ugly ones when I find this pretty pink one with jewels on the sides. There is a store clerk beside me so I might as well ask the price.
"Um, excuse me? Do you like, know the price of these?"
"Oh yes, it's going to be about $450 for those ma'am, with the 50% off."
Ugh, ma'am is such an ugly term to call someone, it's like calling me old! I cringe at the glasses, they're ugly anyways so I put them back and walk into the clearance section.
There, I see purple glasses with fluff around the lenses. These are like, so cute and Pepper's favourite color is purple! What a steal! I ask the weird old hag how much it costs and she tells me it's only $15 dollars! I gotta get these!
Once I pay for the glasses, I walk back to Oj, who seems to be sitting on the same bench I was on next to the fountain. It takes a while for him to notice me but when he does he gives me a smile.
"Did you find anything you wanted?"
"Well, not really, there were sunglasses but they were like, suuuuper expensive and waaaay too blingy so I put them back. Good news is though, I got some glasses for Pepper that I think she would really like!"
I pull them out of the bag and Oj cringes.
"Um, Salt, honey, isn't that... A biiiiiit too much?"
"Are you serious right now Oj? They're like, the perfect pair of sunglasses! I wish they came in pink though."
He seems like he doesn't want to push his opinion so he just changes the subject.
"Well, I bought this sauce that was supposed to be 350,000 scoville units for knife because he always complains about the hot sauce not being spicy enough."
He laughs to himself. "What a guy eh?"
"That's.... Interesting...." I sit next to him and put my hand on his. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier Oj, you're too nice to me." He turns to look at me and I lean in to kiss him when something pops out of the water fountain.
"WAITTTT!!!!"
"PEPPER?????"