A Court of Shadows and Lies / ACOTAR FF

Chapter 5

The smell of bacon wafted to my nose, stirring me awake. I blinked my eyes open, rubbing away the sleep from what felt like an eternity's worth of slumber. The rising sun's rays poured into the room, casting an orange hue. Pushing the duvet down slightly, I sat up and watched Velaris wake from its slumber, and the Night City dwellers head to bed.

Velaris would always be one of my favourite cities.

My body ached while I stretched my arms out, reminding me of the trek down to the room from the day before. I looked down at my chest and saw the Chaostrite glowing brightly still, perhaps due to the aftermath of being in contact with what I assumed to be a Stygian, whatever that was. My magic continued to sleep peacefully.

The last thing I remembered was Everild's eyes. I could have sworn they were black for a momentary second, and I vaguely remember Azriel asking Cassian if he saw something - but whether it was the same thing was another matter. It may have just been my eyes playing tricks on me since I had just been in contact with something so magically old and strong that it could take shape of its host without needing a heart or a brain. It was spectacular, really. Amazing but terrifying at the same time. I had no idea what a Stygian was, and I suppose my trip to the library would help.

I dropped the necklace and realised what I was wearing. My purple sweater from the day before had been replaced with a white cotton tank top with straps so thin I might as well not have been wearing any in the first place. Eyes widened, I realised my pin was no longer attached to me until I saw it resting on the side table out the corner of my eye. I clenched my teeth, throwing the duvet over to reveal a matching pair of shorts that stopped mid-thigh. My thoughts raced while I tried to narrow down who had changed me, and if they had seen my back.

In a fury and without care, I swung my legs over the side of the bed nearest to the door leading into the living room and immediately collapsed onto the floor. A groan left my lips when my bony hip met the floor first, followed by my weakened legs. A sharp pain raced from the first point of contact, and throughout my body. I twisted my body slowly to sit on my butt and leaned back, blinking away the tears forming.

Useless. Pathetic. Good for nothing.

My thoughts were racing once again, this time in the voice of the imposter I had the pleasure of meeting yesterday. I pressed my feet flat on the floor, my hands now resting on my knees. I closed my eyes and, for the first time in four hundred years successfully, took a deep breath in through my nose.

Cunt. Bitch. Slut. Failure. Loveless. Alone.

I released the breath through my mouth. I took another breath in through my nostrils.

Bastard child. Unloved. Unwanted. First to die. First to leave. Never thought about.

The screaming in my head had quietened by the time I released my breath. I took my third breath in, waiting for my thoughts to come racing in but it never did. I thankfully took a breath out and steadied myself, focusing on the sounds of the birds chirping outside. They faded into the ether, and so did the clanging of the pots and pans in the other room. All the sounds surrounding me fell into nothing.

My body, too, fell into nothing. It wasn't numbing, but a relaxed nothing, as if I had floated up into the skies. I continued feel the feeling as I felt my aches, and the searing pain in my hip, dissipate into nothing. I continued to breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth, several times. Not a thought entered my brain.

For a moment, I let my mind wander and my body float. In that moment, I took in Velaris as I saw it yesterday. Beautiful and bustling, full of life and love, and protected by the Prythians who took me to the mountain yesterday. The city was still here, and it wasn't going to fall. No one in this lifetime would let it fall.