Unhinged

twenty seven

***

I stood before the mirror, my eyes set on the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

I already accepted that I am a Beta, but I don't think I have actually accepted what it means to be one. What I might possibly won't have...

Knowing what I can have, I've never truly focused on what I can't do. All this time I've just been comparing myself and feeling inadequate. Just this great feeling of uselessness is growing by the minute.

"Beau?"

I flinch, looking when I heard Maximus at my door. I don't move at first because I hoped he'd believe I wasn't there.

"I know you're there-."

At that point, I just rushed to the door. I opened it and I see his expression change instantly. This look of heartbreak taking over as he rushed in towards me and closed the door.

"Why are you crying...?" Maximus whimpered, cradling my face as I continued to cry before him.

He looked absolutely heartbroken before me, and it saddened me. Just to see me this way caused such a reaction from him...why?

"I am right back at the place that I was before years ago. I thought I changed, but I haven't. My feelings still get hurt and I still am effected by others words... I'm a loser-."

"You're not a loser, stop talking about yourself like that." Maximus interrupts me angrily with evident frustration. "You can't...think these things. You...I planned a showcase...to represent you, I need you to be there."

"I don't want to go, I'll watch it on-."

"I need you there." Maximus interrupts me firmly, causing me to look at him funny. "I am serious. Please...I am begging you. Please come to it."

I didn't understand why he wanted me to come so badly, but I end up nodding.

He was quick to pull me with him as we left the my place. I knew it was soon, but wouldn't it be some distance away? My apartment and his castle are far from each other. That was my intention...

Except, to my surprise, we got there quite fast.

He was quick to rush in without me and I took my time. The last place I wanted to be was here. I felt like I had nothing good to show. What good parts do I have to share right now?

Nothing.

As I walk in I was surprised by how many people were here. Didn't think so many would turn up...then again, Maximus did arrange this-.

"Beau..."

I see Maximus standing on the stage. His eyes settled on mine and I felt my lips tighten. Found my eyes becoming watery as he began to extend his hand out to me.

"Give me another chance...my last chance." He croaks, causing me to flinch. "I won't mess up, I won't make the same mistakes, I won't use pretty words ever, I won't lie... I'm not that eighteen year old kid anymore...and I know it's only a four year difference, but I genuinely have changed. I can't do this...seeing you be hurt and not feeling loved when I love you. Even though my actions said otherwise back then, I was just a desperate, pathetic, stupid, little boy."

I saw Vero look at me, grinning softly at me. The look upon her face told me that she liked what he said...but...

I wasn't content with that. I still felt desperate for a certain something, for certain words...

"You being a Beta means nothing to me. You're perfect to me...just the way you are. I mean that, stop trying to prove yourself to others. I believe you are everything and more, you don't need to prove anything to anyone. I am certain of that...please believe me." He begs me, causing me to feel my lips trembling.

Now I found myself rushing towards him, and I didn't care that I was being watched by all these people. I took his hand as he yanks me into his embrace. My arms were quick to wrap themselves into such an embrace, but he was too fast. It didn't matter to me though as I kept him close to me.

I press my lips to his ear, grinning.

"I'll give you one more chance." I say to him, and I feel him hug me more tightly.

I didn't feel any embarrassment from this...even though I felt like there should've been some type of form of that. Except I was just so...happy.

I could say I like someone, and know they not only like me; but they love me as well.

"Do you really love me?" I ask him shyly as he pulls back some. His head pressed to mine so that I could look up at him.

"I love you." He just says so calmly, but there was a hint of something. Whatever it was...it made me happy. I could feel the genuine feelings, his love. He wasn't lying, and it showed for me. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

"I'm so happy... I'm too happy I think I might-."

"Don't get too excited." I warn, and he nods very cautiously. He inhaled slowly as I rub his chest in a calming manner. While I did such a thing we just kept looking at one another so sweetly.

I didn't even want to be away from him now... This just concretized to me everything I have been trying to avoid...him, specifically. Because I knew I liked him from the very beginning, I just didn't want to be hurt...

Is that it?

Or was I victim to my own volition?

All of this...I don't think it could've been avoided, to be honest. With how he was and how I was...and still am, we needed to go through this.

Even if it went on for longer than necessary...it was worth it. How wouldn't this be-?

"Will you marry me?"

I flinch, seeing Maximus looking at me softly. I see him holding a ring in his hand despite what just happened here. When I tried to look at Vero he turned us, just so that I could see him...

Only him.

"Don't see her reaction to make a choice. It's up to you, deep down. If you don't want to marry me yet, it's fine. I will still be waiting for you until the right time."

I just look at him, and that love in his eyes...

Was enough.

I can't let anyone hold me back anymore. I can't let myself hold me back because of fear of what I am. When the person in front of me loves me for who and what I am...

He loves me more at times more than I can love myself...how can I let that go?

"Maximus," I say his name, and he nods, "Yes, I'll marry you."

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- yolo 🫶