lone wolff

xii

the following week was agonising. i saw toto at every corner, but he avoided eye contact at all costs. on top of the heartbreak, i had to deal with callum's eager chats all the time, thinking that the drunken mistake was actually meaningful.
i was nice about letting him down and i think he could see how emotionally unavailable i was. the bigger problem was sofia.
she had been acting really off with me all week, ignoring me, but then i would catch her staring at me later. i knew she must've seen mine and callum's encounter.

the time finally came for me to drop off some reports in toto's office. feeling extremely nervous, i made my way up to his door and gave myself a little pep talk.
i opened the door and stepped inside - toto looked up and we made eye contact for a second, then he went straight back to work
"just put those on the side i'll get to them later"
he said, distracted.
i did as he said but couldn't help but make conversation with him "thanks again t, for driving me home safe- i didn't mean for that to happen, i'm so sorry"
he looked up at me "there's no need to apologise, clearly we both didn't have the same idea in mind about what we were to eachother"
wow, 'were' hurt.
"but we did" i insisted "i really like you and it wasn't just a fling, callum literally means nothing to me"
his expression hardened "so you throw away this 'special' thing we had over some guy who means nothing to you? it doesn't add up y/n" he said calmly but sternly.
"please, we all make mistakes- mine was just a really bad one which i entirely regret"
"i think you'd better leave now"
"but i-"
"just leave me in peace i don't want to hear another word from you" he snapped, causing me to spin around and head for the door, finally feeling what the others had when talking about toto's temper.

that evening

at dinner with max and kelly, i filled them in on what happened because i just needed to vent to someone.
"i still find it so fucking weird that hes your boss and he's so much older than you" max remarked
"quiet max, i'm way older than you but we still work, why should age matter so much" kelly questioned.
i was grateful for her insight, what she was saying was absolutely true, but i still needed advice for my situation.
"and on top of all that, callum's weird girlfriend-but-not literally looks like she wants to kill me- i wouldn't even be surprised if she tried"
"oh god, she's the least of your troubles" said kelly
"i know right"
"i think you should just give this guy some time, his ego is obviously hurt and he needs space" max suggested
"but how can she if she works with him every day, she should try to be as nice as possible" replied kelly
"she got shouted at last time its obviously not going to work"
"this drunk mistake shouldn't affect her chances of her internship AND love at the same time" argued kelly
"guys guys it's ok don't worry" i mediated "i'll figure it out somehow, i just don't want everyone at work to hate me now"
"they'll understand, just be careful, ok?" max said
"just sucks how this could mess up the work experience " i sighed

the following morning, i got into work early and got some breakfast from the canteen. it was fairly empty apart from about 6 people, one of which was staring me in the eyes
"hey sofia" i greeted her kindly, sitting down with my coffee and pastry
she just stared at me angrily as i tried to make conversation
"you went and kissed him even after our conversation ? i thought we were friends y/n, i told you my feelings about him"
"i know sofia, i'm so sorry, i promise i was just drunk i didn't mean for it to happen"
"an apology is not gonna cut it, he won't shut up about you now, you're all he talks about, it's like i'm invisible to him"
she looked heartbroken "sofia, please, i never meant for this to happen" i pleaded
"forget it" she sighed "i thought i could trust you" she got ip and walked away, leaving me contemplating once again how to navigate my way through this sticky one...

*****
author's note:
sorry for publishing these so late i'm a busy girl ok i try my best🙄

also sorry if there's any grammar mistakes or bits that don't make sense i'm listening to music while writing this and sometimes the lyrics throw me off (german drill ac makes me write faster)- anyway i'm not gonna check it through bc i'm lazy

hope you're all doing well <3 do something nice for yourselves today
omfg i'm gonna bake cookies tomorrow

okay kisses kisses bye everyone