Manticore

Perceive me as I am, not as you see me

Your eyes are such a disgrace,
They keep glaring right into my face;
With a smile and a grin
And all that's in between
You expect me to stay in my place.

You see me as an angel, don't you?
So sweet and so kind and so perfect, you wish
But if I show any part of me that's really true
You start hoping I'd just keep to myself like a fish.

I am not "quirky" but I do have my quirks
And you treat them as if I were just spouting lies
How could you even hope that my love for you "works"
When you don't have the eyes to hear my cries?

You see me as that kid who amazed everyone by doing six times seven in his head at age five, that could read when he was three, that could barely breathe when he was born.

You see me as the model child and you ruined my chances of being wild because how could poor little I do anything dangerous? I might scare you and make you stress yourself!

And don't get me wrong, I am thankful for your praise and your help, and I always will be. But I want you to perceive me as I really am.

I am not just a "he", nor just straight, and I won't give up until you accept me for that. I am every color of the rainbow.

I am red, for my passion;
I am orange, for my creativity;
I am yellow, for my positivity when others need it;
I am green, for the growth I have gone through;
I am blue, for the kindness around me;
I am indigo, for the pride in who I am;
I am Violet, for that is my name.

And not only that, you remember? My brain just so happens to be atypical. And while you tried to help me in a limited way, you kept saying... "What should I tell them... That you have problems?" as if it were the worst damn thing in the world.

That hurt, and you have no idea how much. You still think I'm such an angel, maybe that my moments of anger are caused by my phone, I don't even know anymore. And yet you don't see the moments I struggle to muster two words, to say "good morning". But I'm just exaggerating, right?

So when you ask yourself why I don't spend more time with you, remember:

Perceive me as I am, not as you see me, mother.