7/19/09
1:45 p.m.
LEILA
I picked my pen up, the tip just about to make contact with the blank notebook page, and set it back down.
This same cycle had happened at least seven times over the past fifteen minutes, and would probably occur again a minute it or so from now.
I couldn't write today. And I couldn't figure out exactly why.
It may be the stress of court days. Or it may simply be that I didn't have anything left to write down. I'd already spilled my guts out on paper so many times over the past six months.
There wasn't much else I could say.
I still hadn't sent them. The letters. And I probably never would. I just didn't see the point in bothering someone who should never hear from me again. I cared for him too much to do that.
The little watch on my wrist told me that I had around twenty minutes left before it was time to resume the trial. I sighed, leaning back against the wooden bench I'd taken refuge at, grateful for the giant tree above my head that provided shade.
It may be a chilly outside, but the sun still shined brightly. In other words—a sun with teeth day.
A gust of wind blew, making my short hair crowd my face and tangle into small knots. I smoothed it back and rubbed my bare arms, shivering.
Where was Jess? I asked her to grab a sweater for me a while ago.
Instead of staying there and turning into a human icicle, I stored my belongings back in my purse and stood. Better to walk around and get my blood going than freeze more.
I debated calling Jessica to see where she was, but decided against it. Maybe she couldn't stop by my dorm right away and was running late. She was probably just around the corner. I would be warm soon—
I stopped dead in my tracks and stumbled backwards, nearly toppling to the ground when my heel caught on a dead branch that had fallen from the tree.
I stared in disbelieve as he walked toward me, his movements hesitant, as if he wasn't sure if I was going to turn and run or not.
The world seemed to move in slow motion. The wind wasn't so loud anymore; his eyes glued my feet to the solid ground, trapping me. Encasing me in a sea of emotions, building up into enormous waves before crashing all at once.
And the worst part? I didn't even mind drowning.
He only stopped walking when he was maybe a foot from me. He held out something for me, but I couldn't tell what it was because my eyes were so focused on him.
"Jess sent this for you."
I finally looked down at my faded, black bag and couldn't help frowning. How did he even know Jess? Had they met before?
And why did she give it to him instead of coming herself? Didn't she know that my heart was practically falling to pieces all over again in this very moment?
I slowly took the bag from his grasp, swinging the long strap over my head so it rested across my chest. "Thank you."
I didn't know what to say. I could barely think clearly, let alone form those jumbled thoughts into comprehensible words. I had so many questions. Could he tell? Or did I just look like some strange, dumbstruck girl with her jaw hanging open?
"You're here for your dad."
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He knew.
Despite that, I nearly lied. I actually considered making up some excuse as to why I was there. But I refused to lie anymore. "The decision for his sentencing being reduced or not will be decided today. This is one of the last days of trial, just finalizing things." I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. Because, frankly, I still hadn't processed the fact that I would be facing my father soon. "I've been given the opportunity to take the stand and tell my story."
