What Blooms At Midnight

Twenty Two

I do not think it ever occurred to me that having Prince Edmund's hand being the one to lift every morsel of this delicious breakfast to my lips could feel so very differently than having others feed me...

But it does...

Somehow he's managed to make the simple act of lifting spoonfuls of porridge to my mouth feel intimate... Somehow this simple act of eating my morning meal has turned into a dance that feels as if it should be hidden from decent folks...

I know that it must be partly due to the careful and very focused attention that he is giving me... But I cannot help but feel more than a little shy...

With the way, his eyes keep careful track of my face as he delivers the spoon over the threshold that is my lips... And the sweet way he takes the time to use the napkin that had been brought up with the dish to wipe the corners of my mouth after each bite... The soft cloth seeming so much more tender when backed by his stronger than stone hands...

How could this ever not feel as if it were a private... Intimate... Precious... Moment?

How could I ever not feel shy and flustered?

I daresay even without the consumption of Princess Carilynn's alcoholic confections I would have found myself shy in this predicament... Especially seated where I am in Prince Edmund's lap... Even if he himself does not seem to think it strange that I am on top of him instead of by his side...

"Are you alright, my Dear?" His voice makes me jump, his whisper so very chill inducing despite my face feeling so much warmer than it should...

...

Edmund

...

My question causes my sweet Beloved to jump slightly, his beautiful face flushing brighter than any rose I have ever seen... His eyes almost accusatory when he looks at me over his shoulder... Softening only when he realizes that it was me who startled him... And that I only wished to check on his wellbeing... Because he seems to be growing nervous...

I had started to smell it in the air after he had turned in my lap... And at first, I had assumed that it was stemming simply from being seen sitting the way we were since this is such a new arrangement for my dear human mate to go through... All of his other encounters with love being that of the chaste kind that humans have somehow seen fit to foster instead of the openly affectionate means of bonding that we of the Vampiric state have preferred for so long...

But oddly enough... The smell of his nervousness in the air only grew stronger as more time put distance between the maid walking in and smiling over the sight of him in my lap right where he belongs...

Until it finally occurred to me... That it might be me making him nervous...

But I had not meant to startle him with my question... I had simply only wanted to make sure to put him at ease and put to rest any worries that might be cropping up in the silence that bloomed when I had started to feed my Angel...

"I-I am fine, but thank you..." His way of leaving his words to float in the air makes it seem as if he has more tha he wants to say... But I do not know how to properly ask after it... I do not know how to ask after something I do not understand how to phrase...

"Is it perhaps that you are uncomfortable? Is your chest in pain?", I try to be careful in how I ask things, my ears having been paying attention to his heartbeat this entire time to try and keep track of it and be sure that he is not falling into another episode... And to be sure and offer him a dose of my blood if I start to notice any distress...

For a few moments, I fear that I have let my watch slip and that I've failed him... Which would not serve as a vote of confidence in my favor over the matter of if I am well suited to care for him or not...

Luckily after just a few precious moments though, my Beloved Jasper sets my mind and heart at ease by speaking up and ridding me of the notion that I've missed any signals that his heart was beginning to pain him once more, "No! Nothing like that! I swear that I shall always tell you if I am in distress! I... It is just... I found myself lost in thought and I was not sure how to explain myself..."

His face turns itself downward as if to hide from me, his expression sheepish as he hesitantly tugs the bite off of the spoon I lift to give us both a moment to consider his words, and so that I might let my shoulders sag momentarily with relief over knowing that thus far I've done well paying attention to him.

He takes longer than before to mull over the bite of savory porridge... His cheeks aflame while his heart starts to flutter... The delicate beating faster than normal but nowhere near the level that caused us both so much distress yesterday... The warmth of his body seeming to grow as he flushes and squirms just long enough to swallow what is in his mouth only to say, "I... I didn't think you would notice so much... I'm sorry..."

The urge is so strong when it washes over me that I feel that I have no other choice but to follow it... My hand setting his spoon down in his bowl before moving it away from the two of us and back to the side table so that I may hold him unimpeded and unafraid of dripping hot porridge in my fragile soulmate's lap.

How... How might I ever tell him that this is not something he needs to apologize for...

How can I communicate to him that I more than understand that surely there is a lot on his mind with so much having happened in just the last day alone... His morning had been so full and thats even after an evening of turmoil...