Fragments From Before

Chapter 1

I sat on a hill surrounded by water, looking at the moon, and said, "Don't you wish everything could be this quiet and peaceful? No fighting or violence, just me and you enjoying the world?"

The mysterious boy sitting next to me chuckled and said, "if only. My life is filled with violence, you're my only escape at this point. He laughed and meticulously crossed his legs in a comfortable way. His unusually white messy hair covered his lavender-colored eyes from my sight as he did this. He laid his head on my shoulder, falling into a deep sleep. Then, he vanished.

I stared at the ceiling blankly as I recalled last night's events with my therapist. I had laid down on top of her black, worn-down, leather couch, directly opposite the chair she was sitting on. I could see the look of curiosity on her face through my peripheral vision as she began speaking. She sighed and said, "We've talked about this, haven't we? As long as you know he is not real, there is nothing to be concerned about, Poppy." She always said the same thing, but she doesn't understand. There is no way to explain it. She's never held a conversation with him. I can't remember his face or voice, but his presence is always the same, warm and comforting. It feels real. It feels like I can tell him everything and not feel judged or belittled.

"But what if he is out there waiting for me, hoping that one day our paths will cross or something like that? Shouldn't I at least consider the possibility?" I couldn't get the thought out of my head, no matter how many people told me there was a slim chance of that happening.

By the end of the session, Susan, my therapist, looked like she worked a double shift at a packed hospital, but she finally convinced me to at least give other guys a chance to get to know me before I settled down. "Bye, see you next month! Enjoy your vacation." I said as I exited her office, knowing how much she wanted to go to Hawaii for her 40th birthday celebration. I have no idea why she took the whole month off. I'm just glad she was finally taking a well deserved break. For the years that I've known her, she has only taken a vacation once, when she was hit by her ex boyfriend's car, and even then she only missed one day. It is quite unbelievable how dedicated she is to her job.

She smiled back and said, "I will, but if you need anything don't hesitate to call me, okay?" She has to be the sweetest person I know.

As I reentered the lobby and noticed my mom was the only one left in the room, except for the receptionist. She stood up in a rush. "Come on, don't want to keep your brother waiting do you?" Henry, my brother, said he would call us at 4, and the time read 3:14. The car ride home usually takes us 15 minutes with traffic, so I knew we would be fine. But that didn't stop my mom from worrying. She was always in a rush about everything and worried about the smallest detail, but I know she can't really help it, so I don't really mind it.

As I thought, we got home around 3:25, giving me enough time to say hi to my dad, eat a snack, and set up the computer for the facetime call with Henry in the living room.

When I finally finished setting everything up, I looked up to tell my parents that I was ready only to be met with the hazel eyes my mom and I shared looking daggers at me with a face full of makeup, taking very deep breaths. "Are you ok, Mom?" I asked, realizing she was trying to calm herself down.

It took awhile for her to answer back, but she responded with, "I hope he's doing well..." I hate when she gets like this. She blames herself for Henry leaving home at 18 and joining the military. Every time she thinks about it, she blanks out. I don't know what goes on inside her head when it happens or even what happened the day Henry left three years ago, but I do know she tries her best to hide her suffering.

The sound of an incoming call from the laptop broke us all out of our thoughts and mom resumed her panic mode saying, "how do i look, do you think he will notice my worry lines?" she just saw him a couple of months ago, and yet she acts like she hasn't seen him in decades.

I told her she looked fine and urged my dad, who had been sitting on his chair the whole time reading the newspaper, to come within frame of the camera. With a quick sigh, I answered the call.